


Dew of the Sea

by EnidZsasz



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Corpses, Death, Drug Use, F/M, Human scarifice, LSD (mention), Marijuana, Not your averge demons, Not your real satan, Possession, Pregnancy, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Secrets and monsters, Satanism, heavily implied sex, not exactly angels, think adjustment bureau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 05:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 47,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20700839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnidZsasz/pseuds/EnidZsasz
Summary: Rey grew up in a small community in Arizona. After escaping with a little help she meets with Father Luke, a priest who helps her find a place to live with his sister. Now in the big city of San Francisco she is led into a possibly even smaller set of people who are not exactly as they seem.





	1. Chapter 1

  
  
The truck came to a halt as Rey shook herself awake. She had spent the last few hours sleeping off the stress of finally doing this. Of finally leaving every last bit of what she knew. Shivering despite the plain wool blanket she wrapped herself in she unbuckled herself from the inner metal seats. Taking a steadying breath the city was where it was all at, that is what everyone had told her. 

The town she lived in for the past few months she had been away from her family was a commute place, barely called a town. It was mostly a truck stop for rough, and fairly rowdy truckers who looked at her like she was something to hunt. Then again, nearly everyone had given her the most odd looks there, Finn had told her, again and again when she called him he was going to get her to the big city. San Francisco was supposed to be a place anyone can be. Where no one would think twice about her. Unlike every single person passing through and who lived in that small town. There were kind people like Rose heading to this same city, then there were people like Plutt. 

Every time she seemed to even think of complaining he would tell her how lucky she was to have the tiny closet he provided, to eat the meals he allowed her to order. How lucky she had a steady job he provided. Finn told her he would get her away, to this city, and she had to believe him. Believe him more than anything, even when the sheer amount of people that were going to be in the city scared her. How many would want her, and want things she would never provide? Rey shook herself trying to smile. 

Part of her wanted to watch the scenery as it passed till it was too dark to see. But she was more than happy when Poe opened up the back and held his hand out to her to help her out. The sounds of the city, even late at night now, made her just look all around. There were a lot of people out, distant, but a lot of people. 

She was grateful the guys were there, as they joked a little, Finn grabbed her bag with a smile. While Poe unsettled her she trusted him only because Finn seemed to trust him fully, and she trusted Finn with her life, no matter how small that felt. They’d helped each other get this far, hadn’t they?

“A word of advice,” Poe told her as she marveled a bit in dread over the expensive looking apartment complex. She could not afford this place at all. Luke one of the kindest people she had met in the town, who never seemed to expect anything from her had told her not to worry. This was his sisters place, she would help, and let Rey stay free until she could find a job. She was hardly convinced, charity wasn’t something anyone seemed to enjoy doing, at least in what she experienced in life. But maybe she could convince them to let her stay for a few days until she found a job and another cheaper place to stay

“Don’t worry so much,” he smiled broadly. “You seem so tense all the time. Believe me, these guys, I’ve known them my whole life; they are really good people.” He reached out to touch her shoulder but stalled the motion running a hand through his hair instead when she flinched away from him. She had known good people, Luke, Rose, Finn, all good people, but she didn’t know them all as well as she did Finn. Rose was young woman, Luke was an old man, a priest even, Poe however. He was a young unmarried man and had the charisma of a war hero, Finn seemed to idealize him to some extent Rey didn’t know, trusted him in the way she trusted Finn. However. 

Every part of her had screamed to move, to not allow unmarried men near her for that moment and despite her trying to ignore it, it happened to fast for her to stall it. Poe seemed not to notice, and she cast a glance around for tall church spires, even though she wouldn’t be able to seem much through the small somewhat dark neighborhood that was still having street lights put in. It was a little unsettling, not being able to see churches, even in the small commute town there were three. One of which used to be a library that Luke was converting to a small one room church. Out of all of those churches, that was one was the most homey, and she felt like it had to be because of Luke. The thought of the old man almost made her smile, but she controlled herself. She didn’t know how Poe would take it, and dreaded him taking it the wrong way. Like the rowdy men. 

“Don’t let Maz bully you; she can be quite forceful. Finn will show you the place. Don’t take too long, buddy,” he called to Finn, “we have to get back to base.” 

Finn took her hand and led her into the building. It had high ceilings and a dangling chandelier in the main foyer, with green and gold wallpaper. It all looked like right out of an old western movie. 

“_ Oh oh oh _!” a voice called, and one of the tiniest women Rey had ever seen raced down the stairs. She was small, dressed rich robes and an elaborate turban. She wore thick makeup and fake mole on her check. The old woman smiled broadly despite the late hour, taking Rey in with bright eyes. Rey shifted uncomfortably. She was wearing a dress she had crocheted herself. She’d been proud of it. Finn had sent her the hook and yarn. But in front of Maz’s gaze and her rich clothes, she suddenly felt frumpy. It was made of off white yarn, and despite her best efforts had more mistakes then she could count. 

“I’m sorry!” Rey told her quickly, as the old woman stopped looking the two over. But her smile was broad and happy. 

“Oh, you must be Rey then?” She took Rey’s hand. Rey felt too dazed to react with the touch, the woman seemed to bowl over everything in her. “Come on, you must be tired, I’ll show you to your rooms!” Rey grinned back her as the woman led her to one of the ground floor apartments. Out of all the people she was frightened of, Maz was the least of them. 

“We actually have a lot of places open, new renovations you know,” Maz chatted easily. “That EPA stuff got us thinking, so we just got everything back into place!” The house was quiet and the worry Rey had of waking someone up was gone. Her growling stomach reminded Rey that she hadn’t eaten the entire day. Maz glanced at her and chuckled. 

“It’s fine! Just hungry,” Rey explained, and Maz laughed. She ushered them into a truly huge apartment. It seemed to take half of the entire ground floor. 

“This is the main room, you got a full tub, and a separate shower!” Maz explained gesturing vaguely to a door. “You got yourself three rooms, one for guests, one for you, and the last can be a reading room, or perhaps a nursery! Should you require it!” The entire main part of the apartment was open. With ornate support pillars the kitchen—an actual kitchen, modern to the last appliance. Rey could faint in joy ignoring Maz as she gazed around. _ Oh please, please, please let me stay here _, she prayed quickly as Maz guided them around. It was even fully furnished and perfect. It was more than Rey could have dreamed. Finn put down her suitcase and frowned at her, before standing in place. 

“It’s, it’s okay, I’m good!” Rey told him. 

He smiled at her, and hugged her. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?” he told her and went to the door.

“See you later!” Maz called after him. 

Rey relaxed more fully with that, breathing out a sigh of relief. Maybe it was just the confirmation that Finn would come back for her. She didn’t feel like the odd one out next to Maz, with the ostentatious way she dressed and seemed to act. 

“So, military man huh?” Maz asked. “That’s good, there’s none better than them.” 

Rey nodded and swallowed down her lingering anxiety. “I… I don’t know if I can afford to live here.” 

Maz quickly took her hand. “Oh dear, you don’t have to worry about that right now.” 

Rey blinked down at her. 

“I wish when I got married to my first husband that there had been someone to help me. I always said I’d do the same for someone else one day. You can stay, once you get a job. We can work this out. I’m guessing that you never had a job that paid much?” 

Rey sighed in relief nearly shaking as all the fear left her. “No, I never had much cause for needing one, with where I used to be. Someone, always handled such matters for me, so this is my first time handling things for myself.” Rey tried to explain. Her stomach rumbled again this time much louder.   
“I don’t have anything on hand, but would you like to see if the others are awake?” Maz asked her. 

Rey stared at her nervously. “What do you mean?” 

“Leia, she cooks a lot, tends to just throw stuff out, come on. I’m sure they’re awake. They usually are! Leia loves Johnny Carson!” Before Rey could protest, the small woman dragged her out of the apartment and up another set of stairs to the one just above hers. Rey opened her mouth to protest but Maz slammed her fist against the door. 

“Open up! We are hungry out here!” Maz called. 

“You don’t have to!” Rey tried, but Maz banged on the door again. Rey heard rustling as someone walked to the door

“Hey, Maz, ” called a male voice. “Stealing our tupperware again?” 

An old man, maybe a bit older than Father Luke opened the door. He stalled a bit when he looked over Rey. He reminded her of Luke in a way, just the association eased her fear, then there was the gold wedding ring on his finger that eased the rest. “Oh hey, Luke said someone was coming. You sure are quick.” He glanced out into the hallway. “Finn still around?” 

“He had to leave, a military man you know,” Maz told him, waving him away from the door. Rey frowned. It was as though they knew Finn, as if he had met these people, but she kicked the strangeness out of her head. If Finn and Poe were friends, and Poe was friends with these people, then of course they would know of him. 

“If that’s Maz, tell her to return my Jell-o mold!” A woman called as Maz pulled Rey into a richly decorated apartment. Rey could not fathom how people moved about a room with so much furniture. She glanced at the older woman who came into view. She wore a long purple robe with her hair tightly woven into braids onto her head. “Oh, hello!” she said brightly and took over from Maz. 

“I’m sorry!” Rey tried to begin, but the older woman soothed her without a word, taking her towards the less cramped kitchen. They passed by a small hallway with a door at the end that seemed to hold a darkness with flickering candles. Even though the kitchen had a more open floor plan, Rey felt crowded. She noted the less modern appliances, including a gas oven in the corner and a sickly brown refrigerator. 

“No no no, dear. Come on, from what Luke told me you need a little pampering. I’m Leia, that’s my husband Han.” Leia went to the massive fridge, gesturing vaguely behind her. She glanced at Han, who shrugged and left the three women, going out towards the hall with the candle room. Rey heard the door shut as Leia frowned in front of the fridge. Luke had called her, and talked to his sister as she watched him, nervously wringing her hands, hoping she wouldn’t have to stay in some barracks like Finn had told her he stayed in. With Luke’s promise of their help she felt only the slightest apprehension, allowing her to relax herself around them. Rey was looking forwards to anything other than being around hundreds of young men.

Rey marveled a little at all the things inside of it. Leia pulled out a small platter of parfait glasses that were topped with whipped cream. “I never get these boys to eat anything. Me and Maz have to go walking for hours to keep all this off!” Leia told her quickly setting it in front of her. “Eat, eat!” Leia handed Rey a spoon, and her stomach decided her on eating. From her first home she had never tasted anything like it, only getting a few bites through leftovers from patrons of the dinner. When starving as long as she had, she was not averse to stealing food from plates. Plutt did not care to give her anything other than oatmeal. 

The parfait glass was filled lemon flavoured Jell-O and the whipped cream was the sweetest Rey had ever tasted in her entire life. Rey bit back a sob at all the kindness that she had just been thrown into. “Thank you!” she told Leia. Finishing it in what seemed like seconds. Leia laughed and handed Rey another as Maz got up on a taller chair that was obviously there for her on the table. It wasn’t entirely filling, but Rey felt more full then the last few days of nearly nothing. Her stomach didn’t enjoy the light ‘snack’ and growled for more. Leia laughed and Rey flushed, staring down at the table. 

“Here.” Leia went back to the fridge and dug around for several tupperware containers. Rey blanched a bit. 

“No, please, don’t go to any trouble!” she told Leia, but the woman set the several containers down and grabbed Rey’s hand. 

“Sweetie, we girls need to stick together in this day and age We have too much going on, and too many passive gals! Stand up and take what you want!” 

Rey smiled at her, as Leia brought out more containers than Rey could carry. There looked to be so many things, from meatloaf to what looked like a half a pie, and even some more of that Jell-O, this one without the topper. Maz was staring at her, eyes trailing across her body silently and lingering on her arm and shoulder. 

“Besides, I sell these things all the time; I got plenty of backstock. Once you get them cleaned up keep them. I hope you love the new dishwasher we put in!” 

Rey melted with joyoy and a few tears slipped down her cheek. Leia immediately touched her shoulder and pulled her into a hug. She smelled like flower scented soap and a lingering trace of what smelled like paint thinner. 

“Thank you, I can’t ever thank you enough,” Rey said into her shoulder. Leia rubbed a hand over Rey’s back as she sobbed in joy. She didn’t notice the way the Leia and Maz looked at each other. There was no prayer that Rey knew that could thank everyone for this. Maybe all the rotten bad luck of her childhood had finally ended, and landed her into a golden pot. 

“I can’t carry all of this.” Rey told her as she wiped her tears away with a hanky provided by Leia. 

“I got a guy.” Leia said and Rey looked for Han as the two looked ready to leave her alone. “Here,” Leia pushed one container to Rey, about half of a cherry pie. “Eat! I’ll go get you someone to carry all of this for you!” 

Rey grinned to the woman and opened the container carefully and dug into the cold pie. She wanted it warm, but even cold it was perfectly tart and wonderful. Maybe they could also help her to learn how to cook, and how to do those things that so many women seemed so capable of doing. Rey got the chance to finally look around after she spent a long moment enjoying the treat. 

The kitchen had the same dark green wallpaper as most of the rest of the building, but almost every inch of the wall was framed by photographs, and... Rey took a closer look. She slipped off the chair to go to the closest one, and the brush marks on it told her everything. It was a real painting and not a print. It was some kind of dark scenery, and she was reminded of war. Sharp sort of metallic bits lined up under black clouds. There was a possible hint of a figure there, but mostly it looked like a vision torn out chunk from a violent battle. There was even what looked like blood lining the white painted frame. 

“Hello! We’re back!” Maz called, and Rey flushed frantically, using the cotton hanky to wipe her face and hands before turning around. She was immediately struck by the young man who was behind them. He wore simple baggy clothes that were flecked with rust brown paint all over and she could almost He reeked of fresh paint and paint thinner. His shoulders were hunched, and he stared down with his hands in his pockets like a shy kid. 

“This is Ben, my ungrateful son,” Leia explained and grinned at Rey, gesturing to her cheek. Rey swiped quickly, finding a small bit of crust, and grinning happily at Maz and Leia. 

“Ben, will you help Rey take all of this to her rooms?” Leia asked him. and Before Rey could protest, the young man met her gaze and she blinked. He had the most beautiful dark eyes she had ever seen. Laced with thick black lashes they were almost a dark, dark honey or gold color and she felt like she could dive right into them. His long hair was pulled back into a loose knot at the back of his head and out of the way. He was tall, and even hunched over, he loomed a bit over the three women. Slowly he held his hand out to her and she took it without much hesitation. 

“I’m Rey,” she said and shook his hand, not letting it go even though his went a little limp. He nodded and pursed his lips in thought. His eyes glanced down, then back up to her face. 

“Ben, like they said.” His voice was deep but quiet, and left her smiling. Despite his size and strangeness, like an air of authority that would draw or repel., she felt relaxed around him. He seemed painfully shy, his eyes dodging away from her gaze as he shuffled past her to the table, gathering the filled tupperware containers into his arms. He glanced at her again, eyes locking for a moment with hers, then sliding to her shoulder as he fumbled for one long container. 

“Ah! Let me get a few!” Rey grabbed a hefty one, that seemed to be full of lasagna, and the rest of her pie, which had disappeared fast so that it was just a last bit of cherry soaked crust. She didn’t feel starved anymore as the Leia ushered them out. “Wait, umm… Mrs…” 

Leia smiled fondly and answered, “Solo, but please, please call me Leia. Calling me Mrs. Solo makes me feel old!” 

Rey didn’t feel her smile fall as she shuffled the tupperware in her arms and asked, “I… can you help me with cooking? I never got the chance to learn.” Never in her life had she been able to learn the skill, Plutt didn’t want her stealing, and at home, that was taken care of by others. 

Leia chuckled and nodded. “Of course! Maz is a horrible cook, too! You can’t do worse than burning water!”

Maz scoffed and folded, letting Rey laugh brightly. “Liar! I make the best Jell-O!” Maz griped, but waved the Rey and Ben off. 

Ben quietly followed Rey down to her rooms, standing awkwardly in the doorway as she opened it up and walked in. 

“It’s okay, you can come in,” she told him and eagerly went to her own fridge. Though empty it was emitting cool air, unlike the old monster in the dinner. There was even a large freezer that had four ice cube trays already with ice in them. Rey blindly shoved all her freely given food into the various portions and compartments of her fridge, brushing her hands over Ben’s before he could place anything down onto her counter.

He seemed to flinch, but she was far too happy that she didn’t have to worry about scavenging up some food. Shutting the doors and nearly giddy with joy she smiled at Ben as he leaned from one foot to the other, in _ her _ kitchen. Of her own place, and hopefully her home for a long time. 

“Thank you!” she held out her hand again. This time when he shook her hand, his grip wasn’t as limp. He let her hand go and straightened before smiling. It wasn’t exactly the best smile, awkward like the rest of him, as he hunched himself back down. 

“No, it’s my pleasure,” he frowned and moved to the door. Rey followed him, and glanced down the hall. 

“I’m so grateful for your family!” she told him. Part of her begged her to keep the conversation going. “Do you know of any place I can find work?” He blinked and brightened. 

“Yes!” 

The sudden shift to excitement made Rey’s heart skip in joy. 

“I’m a painter,” Ben continued. “I just got... a commission for a portrait from some guy. I’m horrible at people, and I really could use someone there to model so I get used to painting people.” 

He took her hand squeezing it gently. Rey’s gut squirmed a little, she wasn’t exactly sure why.

“Like, a model model?” she asked quietly. He nodded frantically. 

“Yes, exactly!” He gestured upstairs. “You can come over anytime you like, I really need all the help like that. I’ll pay you, I promise.” 

Her stomach dropped again, but she decided it meant joy and she hugged him. He froze, his hands stalling just before touching her body, but a moment later he patted her shoulders. This was probably one of the happiest days of her entire life, and she pulled back, feeling a painful smile on her lips. She hoped the ache of the long mostly unused cheek muscles would go away soon. 

“Thank you, that is wonderful. I’ll really be like a model? You…” she shook her head. “I’m good like that?” 

Ben put a hand on her shoulder as he looked over her. Rey flushed a little. She hadn’t changed out of the dress and felt a bit of shame at her lack of quality of work on it. 

“You’re perfect. Can you wear this dress?” His hand lingered on her shoulder, drawing down to her upper arm and squeezing lightly. “You look wonderful in it.” 

Rey flushed. It had really been Finn’s suggestion, keep her hands busy, but as she followed the almost incantation instructions she made mistakes from the uneven top hem. It fit looser on her top, it came down off her shoulders, revealing her arms. She knew the dress had hundreds of mistakes. From the wonky imperfect hem to various holes from skipped stitches, but it was hers, and she was proud of it now. Someone else seemed to like it, and that let the pride win out of her battling emotions.

“I made it myself,” she explained, staring down at the ground.

“It’s wonderful work! You should see when my mom, Maz, and their friends try to make these things, all they do is drink and gossip.” 

Rey giggled with him as he laughed a little. “Thank you again. Please tell your mom and Maz thanks, too.” 

He nodded and shuffled up the stairs as she waved to him. Shutting the door to her expansive apartment Rey slumped onto the nearest sofa and sobbed in relief again, caught between giddy joy and delirious relief. 

Outside of that rotten town, outside of _ home _, everyone was so kind. Everyone she met seemed to be happy to help her the moment she asked. She relaxed into the sofa and laughed, the room echoing around her.. 

When Rey stood again, she nearly tripped over her luggage on her way to the bathroom. An old clawfoot tub was in there, with a curtain that could be pulled around it, and a small shower stood in the corner by the toilet and sink. 

She turned on the tap for the tub, and hot steaming water poured out. She put the stopper in the drain and shucked off all her clothes. She settled on the side of the tub, placing her feet into the hot water with a sigh allowing the hot water to curl up her toes and into her bones. It was nearly too hot to handle, but Rey was far to uncaring. This was her first bath that wasn’t colder than the bottom of hell and she could care less. 

Once the water reached her mid-calf, she slid in, grateful for the floor drain which sucked down all the water she spilled. She let the tub fill up all the way before finally shutting it off to relax all of her muscles in the hot water. She grabbed a medallion of Old Spice soap on the spigot and scrubbed herself. 

It felt like years since she had been able to get so clean. Even the soft quiet of the apartment and the entire complex did little to deter the sudden fierce joy she held in her heart. 


	2. Chapter 2

Rey woke up tangled in her sheets alone, with an unknown pang inside her. Despite the nap in the truck she had slept all night, Rey flinched a bit as a loud honk sounded even through the walls and windows. She glanced outside, and blinked down at the long line of cars. They seemed to lead to a distant gas station, and she grimaced. A cable car zoomed past them all. She didn’t even have the time to marvel over the city last night in the darkness. But now? 

Rey shfited in nervous tension. This was so utterly and vastly different than the small town she’d come from the day before. People there were tight, everyone knew each other and she had been the odd duck out utterly. People were busy racing everywhere. Some of the cars idled, but most were shutting off as they waited in the line. It looked just like when the station in her town ran out of gas. She shook herself, and warily walked out, part of her expected to have all of this vanish and be back in the old place, shivering under a thin blanket in the desert night.

She opened the fridge door, and was greeted by the stack of tupperware. One contained what looked like scrambled eggs and bacon, she grabbed that and popped the lid open. She smelled it, and yes, it was bacon. She ate it without silverware or dishes since she didn’t have any and she was alone. While the apartment was well furnished, it didn’t have everything. 

A knock sounded on her door and she froze. A small paper appeared under her door, then she heard retreating footsteps out in the hall. Walking to the door she picked up the paper.

The note written on it said in looping cursive,  _ We, the Solos, invite you to dinner, Rey. You don’t need to bring anything but yourself. Dinner is at six thirty; we’ll send someone to get you. _ It was signed by Leia. Rey hugged the letter to herself, smiling.

She went to the bathroom and picked up her dress, the only truly and utterly nice thing she had. What would be okay? She’d worn it the night before, but she didn’t have anything else to wear. At least nothing that wasn’t as nice looking, the clothes she had gotten from Plutt and other charity were not things she liked at all. 

She turned on the spigot and let some water into the tub before dousing the dress, and then cleaning off the bits that were needed with the same medallion soap she had used to wash the dress. After that, she got a small hanger from the achingly empty closet and hug it up to drip dry for the day. Finally she grabbed her luggage and put it on the bed before opening it up and trying not to shake. 

All she had really were patched stained clothes. She grimaced at her baggy, thrice hand-me-down clothes, putting them all away. Her few underthings went to the floor to be cleaned as well. Hopefully they wouldn’t mind her shoes, the hand me down boxy shoes with a heel coming off from another waitress. 

This done, she found she still had nothing to do. She had no books, magazines, or activities. Looking around the apartment, she found a few appliance manuals under the sink and despite the reading material being less than adequate she settled down in silence. Maybe it was the silence, the utter lack of another person there that kept her jumping at every sound, including the footsteps above her. She needed some distraction, music perhaps. 

Almost on cue, a loud record player roared up into some kind of music. It wasn’t exactly at all like the music on the radio at her previous home—a piano, or some kind of keyboard played up. Stabbing through the walls, like it was punching though to get to her. “One is the loneliest number,” the singer’s vocals came muffled through the walls. Rey dropped her oven manual to listen, closing her eyes to focus on the song with a smile. “That you’ll ever do. Two can be as bad as one, it’s the loneliest number since the number one.” 

It was the first time she had listened to this song, Unkar controlled the radio at her home, Elvis and only Elvis played at the diner. Despite the meaning of the song, which just hit her harder as it went on, she couldn’t help but sway to the song and its rhythm. The guy’s pipes were wonderful and she smiled and continued to read passively listening to music.

The next song was was a little harder to hear, it was a lot less of the sort of stabbing piano and more melody. “On a dark desert highway,” the singer said as she moved a little closer to the source of the music. Though she lived under the Solos, in her bedroom, she could hear the music a lot better and found it easier to tell what was being sung. “Cool wind in my hair, warm smell of colitas rising up through the air.” Rey settled down with the manual. 

The Solos had been so kind last night. So much so it seemed to fill a void of unknown human interaction that left her in between anxiety for dinner and hopeful joy. Maybe she’d learn more if she spent more time with them. They were different then the movie depictions of family, or the little she read in books before. So while they were odd, Rey didn’t have any room to judge them. She’d never truly had a family. 

After a while, the music stopped. She enjoyed every song, and ended up listening more than reading the manuals. She hoped to have a job soon to keep her from having to read such a thing again. 

It was when there was a knock on the door that she realized that she had forgotten all about eating lunch. Feeling starved, she went to the door, and opened it. 

Ben stood a little awkwardly at her door and she grinned at him. He was freshly showered, hair still dripping a little onto the shoulders of his jersey shirt. It was black with red sleeves, and empty of logos though that could be just because that was more of a little kid thing to do. “Hi, I’m, here to take you to dinner,” he told her and then flushed. Rey laughed, and motioned him away from the door as she exited shutting it. “Oh, Um,” he pulled out two keys on a small ring and handed them to her. “Maz forgot—your keys.” 

“Thank you,” she pocketed them into the only pocket that didn’t have a hole.

He flushed again and licked his lips before heading away leading her up the stairs. 

“Was that music yours?” she asked him. 

“I’m sorry if it disturbed you!” he told her quickly. “I’ll turn it down from—” 

“I really liked it,” she cut him off and he paused at the stairs. Rey flushed and stared down to the ground scuffing her foot along one stair. “Back home I didn’t get to listen to modern music.” Ben took a breath in. “They are so backwards there most of the time.” 

“There is so much good music!” he smiled, following her. “What kind of music did you listen to before?”

“Old gospel songs, Pat and Debbie Boon? A  _ lot _ of Elvis, my boss at the diner was obsessed with him.” 

Ben shook his head sighing. “That’s lame. I’ll show you all the good music—not the music they play on the radio.” He laughed a little and Rey grinned. He stood by the door, hunching over a little, hands in his pockets. “Are, are you still sure you want to do, the modeling for me?” 

“Yes! Of course! I have no idea what to do. I don’t have anything to do or read,” she told him. 

“I’ve got a few books… do you want to—” 

“Yes, please! I’m so bored. I read some manuals I found.” 

He winced. “Tough break, you don’t even know all the, stuff either?” he asked. 

Rey blinked at him in confusion. He rose a hand and brushed a hand over the back of his head and blinked as he dropped his hand blushing. “All that’s groovy?” he asked her. 

“Groovy? I, is that from a movie?” 

He gaped at her and put his hands on her shoulders. “What kind of backwater grave did you come from, bunny?” he asked and then pulled his hands away as she stared at him blinking. “Sorry.” 

“Bunny?” The door opened and Maz she looked up at the two. Ben looked mortified but also overjoyed by being caught out. 

“It’s about time you got here,” Maz chastised. “Come on, MASH is on!” Rey nodded following Maz. Rey blinked as she saw them gathered around a real color tv. Ben put a hand on her shoulder frowning. 

Instead of eating at a dining table everyone seemed to be eating off little folding tables in front of the sofas and chairs. 

“Hey Rey, sorry I didn’t chat much, but I’m an old man, I don’t stay up late often anymore.” Han told her. On the small table in front of him was a full meal on a little floral tray. Maz sandwiched Rey between herself and Ben. Leia settled one of the trays on each of their tables, before sitting near Han. It was such an odd experience, to not be at a table.

“So Rey, do you skate? I hear they are building a new roller skating rink out there.” Han asked her suddenly and Rey gave him an uncomprehending look. 

Ben took another long breath beside her. “Dad, no.  _ Please _ ” he begged. 

Han gave a bright smile. “Hey, I’m up, I’m groovy and hip to the jam.” Ben groaned and Rey sat there smiling at him. “We’re all just chillin’ in the pad, dig it?” 

“Is this the way people talk?” she asked Han. Ben snorted, as all of them looked at her. Han then grimaced, as Leia elbowed him speaking quietly, almost frantic. A moment later Ben burst into laughter. Maz sighed shaking her head, tucking into her food.

“You children these days,” she lamented and Rey chuckled. 

“Sorry, I thought you were a hip lady,” Han told her. 

“She’s hip as they come,” Ben defended her. She looked at him and smiled. It felt wonderful to be a part of what seemed like a loving family. “Eat, it’s good, my mom is a good cook,” he leaned closer to her, leaning over Maz. “Hip, cool, keen, groovy,” he whispered to her. “I gotta teach you all the cool things.” 

Rey smiled at him and nodded. “Thank you, really thank you. This is all so much I, I don’t know how to say thank you so much!” 

The room fell quiet. 

“Oh Rey, you don’t need to thank us. We’re just glad to help out such a nice girl. I’ll be sure to keep some free time open to help you learn to use that oven. I remember when I was little my mom would bake in a wood oven!” she said, and laughed. 

“When you  _ had _ wood.” Maz said and daintily ate some potatoes. Rey dove into her own food. Her anxiety was gone and forgotten along with the stomach problems with it. After dinner, Rey helped Leia gather up the trays, mouth working as she worked up the courage to ask them something. 

“Do you think you could show me around town?” she asked softly. Leia turned to her and then to Ben who was putting the trays into the dishwasher. 

“Ben would be best, we don’t get out much these days,” Leia told her a strange tone to her voice. Wary, almost like she was more asking permission, then answering her. Rey turned to him and smiled. 

“Would you like me to?” he asked her. “You don’t mind?” 

“What do you mean? Of course I don’t mind!” Leia looked between the two, and then smiled. 

“I’ll show you to some places, just tell me the kind you like.” 

“Library, store, laundromat, some restaurants?” Rey asked and Ben nodded. 

“Oh! Landry is in the basement,” Maz piped up. “I’m getting so forgetful in my age. Don’t worry, it’s not any coin thing. We all use it.” 

“Thanks!” Rey replied. 

“I’ll show you some good places too, I… wouldn’t suggest going alone.” Rey flinched as Han passed behind her on his way to the fridge, but pressed a smile to her face and nodded. 

“I don’t know if I will like some places.” she said quietly. 

“Don’t you know what the city is like?” Leia asked her. 

“I’ve never been to a big city before.” Rey admitted. “My homes were very small.”

“Small how?” Ben asked her, Rey paused unsure how to put it. 

“Religious? My first family was only thirty people in the compound. No girls were allowed near unmarried men.” 

Maz made a noise. “That was how it was with my first husband. Our first was—” 

“Maz,” Leia interrupted in a warning tone. 

“I’m sure you will get up to the level of our Ben soon,” Maz told her shaking her head. “Just gotta get over some stuff I’d guess.” She nodded to the old woman. “I got plenty of advice.” 

“Do  _ not _ go to her for advice.” Leia told her, but smiled. These were the first older lady friends that Rey had and they definitely lightened her spirits. The other older women she knew were not the type to go near ever. They’d chatistize her for never knowing anything, or asking questions. 

When she helped Finn, it only got worse, but he came back for her, and she’d never think ill of him. “Oh! I know what can help you,” Leia said and vanished, and then came out with a book handing to Rey with a wide grin. 

_ Our Bodies, Ourselves _ was embossed on it, and Rey held it in one hand. “It’s for all of us gals, it has everything that you might need.” Leia told her. “Don’t be afraid to read it. It’s for my book club actually, we’ve got a few young gals like yourself in there.” 

Ben retreated from the room with a light wave, and she looked from him to the two women. 

“Can I?” Rey asked. 

“Of course you can! It’s every Friday morning! How about we all hold it in your place after this next meeting?” 

“I’ll be a hostess?” The idea brought a lightness to her heart. 

“Of course! I’ll help out with the snacks!” Maz told her. Rey hugged the two women before watching Leia work the dishwasher, memorizing the details, like the amount of soap Leia put in for the dishes. She left for her own apartment on a cloud of joy, that only ended after a long silence when she was soaking her feet reading the very, vulgar, book. At least to Rey. The things in there would make all those back home faint in shock. Maybe it was the utter near silence, the vast emptiness of the apartment, but she hugged herself. 

The faint music started up again and Rey perked up, and smiled, letting the very—groovy, that was what they said—the very groovy music flow through her. She settled into the hot water reading the book, happy to have something to read that wasn’t between confusion and understanding. 


	3. Chapter 3

Rey was nervous, brushing her hands over the tops of her thighs. There was a group of older women around her in Maz’s apartment on the top floor. Maz had less clutter then the Solos but she had so many books that were crammed into shelves that were near to collapsing. Rey spied notebooks, and some of what looked like leather journals. More of that art, but this was more defined, with almost altar like portions on the walls. Rey spied a human skull, and some stuffed taxidermy animals. The place held an unsettling air, but Rey ignored it for the women around her, too concerned to look normal to them, to note that much about the people around her. 

There was Leia, Maz, and a lady who sat straight backed and looked seriously as any sheriff in a western named Mara, and swarthy woman sat by Rey named Ashoka. Another lady who looked like a full on military soldier, her hair was short, nearly shaved down and only around one inch in length whomMaz called Asajj. The last was a very tall blond woman, called Scyre. Her long hair was pulled back much like Rey’s, except that Rey had done three buns, and Scyre had it all pulled back into one. They had just finished up a discussion on the book and now were more gossiping rather than discussing. 

“Rey, where are you from?” Ashoka asked her during a break in the conversation that Rey paid little attention to. 

Rey grimaced in her seat. “Arizona. It was a small town, there was a big church there that everyone went to, I — ” Rey paused and Ashoka put a hand on her shoulder. She shuddered at the memory of Father Shev that was brought on. “ — my,” Rey paused looking for a word to use, or one that wouldn’t reveal just how vastly ignorant she was, how they kept them ignorant. How shameful it felt to be so stupid as Plutt put it. “Foster told me my parents just abandoned me. How I was basically worthless, and ...uh… my only use was caring for children.” She desperately wanted to be useful to be more than that, but she also know if she had tried it back home she wouldn’t just be shunned, or even whipped. Father Shev might take her in for his personal punishment, and Rey didn’t know what would happen with that. The outcome would never be a good one.

“That’s sickening! Absolutely, is there no information on them? I’d kill the two!” Asajj declared angrily. 

“It’s okay. I don’t know, I can’t even remember their faces. Father Sh-, raised me, he… he was horrible.” There were more sounds of dismay, maybe shock, or sympathy. “Not like  _ that _ !” Rey told them quickly. Leia put her hand to her chest breathing out. 

“That is a relief, Rey. If he was that kind of man, I’m afraid I’d have to contact the authorities, that kind of thing is  _ never _ okay.” Rey smiled at her her anxiety at this meeting gone. “He, just never spent money on anything, We made clothes from flour sacks sometimes. None of the women there liked me.” Rey explained. 

“Finn was one of the only one like me there. He went into the military, I think that was the only place he could go to. But some…” Rey paused holding her hands up and clenching them. “Some didn’t like that he left, or who helped him. When he came back, Finn saved me, I’m so grateful he came back for me!” 

“We all are! You are more than welcome here!” Maz told her. “As my crazy aunt always told me: your belonging is never behind you, it is forward.” Rey chuckled relieved at the acceptance of the women. It felt like a weight had been lifted, telling them about it all. They were not judging her but appear to have empathy for her. 

“Did they hurt you? Do you know exactly where these people are?” Asajj asked. 

“I can get them help, like you and Finn.” Leia questioned right after. Rey nodded swallowing, the only question in her head was if they deserved the help. It left her feeling a bit sick at herself.

“If there is anything bad going on, you need to help them all, even if they hurt you. They don't know any better right?” Rey looked up to her and nearly shook out of the seat to nod, grateful to have an out of the sicker thoughts of revenge. 

“I can tell you,” she said softly, maybe too soft to be heard from their expressions. “Thank you! I’m sure Finn will be happy too!” Rey told her more loudly. 

“All us women have to stick together,” Scrye told her. Rey nodded and glanced around at the women, feeling far less wary of all of them. They weren’t judging, they weren’t whispering about her. Most of all, they seemed to only want to help her and others, which eased any feeling of fear in her. 

“I’m going to go get the snacks, Lord knows we need them, and a drink after that.” Maz told them, Rey breathed in. Any liquor, any alcohol that passed her lips would be the same as the devil coming to claim her body and soul. Rey bit her lip to prevent her panic from rising. That wouldn’t happen, if it didn’t happen yet, then it wouldn’t happen.

Maz passed out pink filled glasses that had a foam on top of them and a single cherry. Rey looked around at the other women, but none of them stopped her from taking a sip, or eating the single sweet cherry on a metal toothpick. “Goodness, can’t wait to try that bicentennial jello recipe in my rag.” she heard Maz comment as she settled herself down. Nearly engulfed in the large chair. 

“What is this called?” she asked them as Maz left to her own kitchen, shielded off by a large bookcase instead of a counter. The women giggled at her. 

“It’s called a pink lady, it’s good!” Ashoka told her. Rey sipped at it again grimacing at the alcohol. “Not to your taste?” she joked and Rey flushed. 

“I’ve never even thought about drinking. Fath-Our preacher said it was sinful. Everything, a lot of things are said to be sinful.” 

“People need to just accept the times!” Mara said, making Rey become flushed and sip at the drink to hide it. It burned in her mostly empty stomach sending out shivers of light feelings into her limbs. Maz then returned with a long silver platter that held a large bread loaf on top that looked like it was covered in cheese.

Maz settled it down on the coffee table in front of everyone and after some jostling and eager hands they each got a portion. Rey marveled at both the sweet and the saltiness of the bread with cheese, onion, and pineapple chunks. The bread itself was also sweet, almost like a cake. 

After that it was mostly chatting about the bicentennial. Maz brought out next a meatball platter that Rey could fawn over for days. Maz smiled to her promising her that she’d teach Rey how to make it. Finishing off her drink, Rey sighed into the seat feeling full and happy. Mara and Scyre were getting up together, gathering their bags. 

“Thanks for coming, the next meeting will be in Rey’s place,” Leia told them. The two women left, before the rest aside from Ashoka, Maz, and Leia stayed. 

“It’s time for me to leave too.” Ashoka looked at a watch on her wrist, Rey nodded and stood with her. As the only one closest to her age Rey wanted to talk with her more. “See you,” Ashoka left. 

“I…” Rey bit her lip. 

“Hurry up! Or she’ll be gone!” Maz waved Rey off, she darted off after the woman, and panted a little next to her. 

“Ashoka?” Rey called, and she stalled near the stairs down. “Mind if we talk?” 

“What’s up?” Rey stood next to her as they started slowly down the stairs. 

“I — where do I find... pads?” Ashoka giggled a little and rolled her eyes. 

“They’re at the store Rey, there aren’t secret shops for that stuff!” Rey flushed. “Its okay, like, you weren’t ever told about them before now?” 

“I always used rags.” Rey explained shortly. 

Ahsoka grimaced suddenly taking a quick step back away from Rey. “Jesus Christ.” 

Rey snapped her head up to Ashoka blinking. 

“Buzz off” Ashoka quickly put her hand onto her chest breathing fast. Rey turned. and blinked to Ben, she hadn’t even heard him approach. 

“I’m out,” she left and Rey looked to the retreating woman then back to Ben curiously. “What was that about?” 

Ben hunched his shoulders, looking over her curiously again. “You, weren’t scared of me?” he asked her softly. 

Rey shook her head. “You’re not scary.” she replied easily. 

A soft smile spread over his face. “A spirit beautiful and bright,” he told her and she blinked at him. “Yet I am I, who long to be. Lost as light as lost in light.” His hand rose and he touched her cheek. “Oh plunge me deep- Put out my senses. Leave me deaf and blind, swept by the tempest of you, a taper in a rushing wind.” 

“Was that a poem? ” she asked him as he stopped and drew back, dropping his hand. 

“Yes. Most people are afraid of me.” 

Rey scoffed, reaching out and touching his arm. “Oh please, you’ve been nothing but kind, you’re tall but, you’re a big pushover. Like a teddy bear.” 

Ben laughed. “I came by to see if you’d be free tomorrow morning,” he told her, putting his hands back into his pockets. 

Rey drew back and nodded. “Yes of course I am! I still have nothing, really.” 

Ben nodded then blinked. “Give me a minute.” 

She watched him vanish into his apartment which smelled a lot like paint thinner, she got a brief glimpse of a sort of yawning darkness in his place. All of his curtains were drawn and lights were off. She stood in the hall before he came back out holding a stuffed cardboard box. “I got some books,” Rey reached out to take the box but he pulled back shaking his head. “Its heavy.” 

“Thank you! Really thank you! I’d be so lost as to what to do without you and your family.” 

Ben grinned at her, settling the box down on the ground to shut his door. “That’s us Solos trying to fly free but always getting struck down by zealous gods.” 

Rey chuckled, and walked with him down the stairs to her apartment. She opened the door and Ben frowned at that. “You should lock your door.” 

“Why? You’re here.” 

He smiled as he set the box down just inside the door. 

“Yes well, I’m off, I gotta buy some pencils. See you in the morning,” he nodded, shutting the door on his way out. 

Rey dived into the box. It was full of some novels, and quite a few of what looked like religious books. She ignored those and fawned a little over some of the books. Rey was still partly sure that she was a horrible person, even now, as she had missed several days of the daily worship hour without a single thought to it. She bit her lip and settled her hands onto the spines of the books Ben had just gave to her. 

She chose one that held what seemed to be a collection of poetry. Wondering just how anyone could find Ben, someone who seemed such a sensitive soul, scary. She felt excited at the prospect of modeling for an artist. More excited for this, then her fear of what she was doing which was so vastly different then her life from before. Careful not to bump into the sofa, she set the book of poems down and transferred the other books into a small and what used to be empty bookcase in the main room. 

On top of the shelf were two ornate lamps and two small chairs on each side, obviously a reading area. Rey flinched at a noise, jerking her head to the single phone in the apartment. She let it ring for another round before running to it and picking it up. “Hello?” she asked into the receiver. 

“Rey?” Finn’s voice called on the other end. Her heart gave a happy flop in her chest. 

“Finn! I’m so happy you called! How are you? Are you well? How is your job? Are they treating you well? Have you flown yet?” she asked quickly. 

Finn cleared his throat before she could continue. “Rey… it has been busy. I’m one of the testers for a new plane, all under the radar. But I’ll be there the day after tomorrow okay? We’ll talk then.” 

“Wait Finn, I—” Rey was cut off as Finn hung up his end. She listened to the tone for what felt like a long moment and then set the phone back down into the cradle. Rey sighed, mood completely soured. It was as though he wasn’t even expecting her to answer. 

“I miss you,” she told the empty apartment swallowing back a sob. A little numb she took the book and settled down in the quiet. Finn was really the only one who could understand what her life was like, and since he got out earlier than her, he’d know more of how to deal with things that she was facing right now. Like the unknown social norms and interactions. Should she allow people to touch her? 

It felt like only seconds, but soon Ben’s music started up, and she sighed happily into the couch. Why did it seem like he didn’t expect her there? She shook her head, he probably thought just like with the month as she worked in the dinner, she’d be so busy that she couldn’t talk much. That still recovering from the shock of no longer having Fa-that hanging over her head would be too much to deal with. Maybe he was still dealing with it, and thought she was better? Rey shook her head and headed to the fridge for food. 

Eased by the manual she read Rey heated up something that was in a heavy glass dish. As she ate the now warmed up egg and vegetable wrapped up in pie crust, Rey felt a yawning sort of sadness in her. She concentrated on the music, dropping off her used dishes into the sink, and then going to her bathroom. Sticking her feet into the tub she sniffed as the water filled it up. It wasn’t just sadness, or confusion, but relief. Another day passed, and another hour passing as nothing happened to her. No fire and yawning hole opening up, no hands crawling out of the cracks in tile to drag her down. 

She opened up that book of poetry, and started reading as she slipped into the tub and the hot water relaxed her, and the music drifted dully into her relaxing her further. She cast a thank you prayer above, to whoever was listening, if they were listening to her, that she was with such nice people. Even if they were strange, everything was strange to her, so how were these people more odd than she knew? It was a blessing, and one was not supposed to deny those. 


	4. Chapter 4

The moment Rey woke, she slipped into the white crochet dress, and sat on the edge of a seat reading a set of poems or sonnets when she heard what sounded like a man’s footsteps in the hall above. She jumped when she heard footsteps down the stairs and nearly ran to the door, yanking it open. Ben was barely at the foot of the stairs when she exited and smiled at him. He smiled back after a short pause. “Hey there, Bunny.”

“What does that  _ mean _ ?” she asked him again and he blushed staring down at the ground as Rey shut her door. 

“It just means you’re cute,” he said she laughed, feeling more lighthearted. 

“Thanks!” she smiled at him shyly. No one had ever called her cute before. He perked up at that, and motioned her to follow him. “Are you sure about the dress?” she asked him. 

“Yes, you’re fab, fabulous. Very groovy.” 

Rey flushed, and followed him up, feeling giddy. “That’s all good right?” she asked him once they reached his door.

He chuckled, a little less hunched over as he opened his door. 

“Of course it is! Hmm, you would say: can you dig it? That means are you okay with it.” 

She felt a laugh bubble through her. “A lesson in language and modeling sounds, groovy?” 

Ben slipped through the dark room and held his hand out to her. 

“I dabble a bit with photography too, you need a lot of dark for developing them or they turn into crap.” 

Rey took his hand and he led her into strange smelling apartment. There were several smells, all fairly over powering until he lead her into what had to be the side bedroom of his apartment. There was a strange sort of feeling with what he told her, like she could taste the partial truth. “Stand here, I’m going to turn the light on.” 

She stayed put, and winced when the lights flooded into the room. She was glad to be told to stay in place because while Leia’s home was cramped, this room was even more so. Easels stood off to the side, flecked and splattered with paints, with very little visible wood left. The majority of the room was taken up by plastic tarps to keep the walls clean although what little wasn’t covered was covered in paint. 

A sofa, fairly immaculate compared to the rest, sat pressed up against the distant wall, under large windows. Those were thickly covered in blackout curtains; Ben moved easily dodging paintings in various phases on the floor. “Come on and sit over there.” Ben guided her through the quasi maze, and settled her down on the sofa. “Stay there.” 

Rey watched as he moved away from the sofa, there were shelves all over as well containing paints, and brushes, and even some cameras. One looked ancient like the old bright flash bulb cameras. “Can I take a picture?” he asked, pulling down a far more modern one and checking it. 

“Sure!” Ben grinned at her. Looking from the camera to her.

“Alright, can you look just a little away towards the window?” he asked. She took a breath in and glaced to the curtains like she was looking out them. “Just a little more towards me, like you were turning your head.” Rey straightened up just a little and freezing just before she could glance to him eyes ogling just to the side of him. He snapped a picture. “Good! Thanks, that will help a lot.” 

“Why take a picture?” she asked, he ignored the question a moment and she leaned away from him as he went to the curtains and pulled them open. 

“Light is important in painting, particularly for people. It changes, all the time.” his last words were distressed with annoyance. “My uncle told me to just take a picture, so that’s what I’m doing.” 

She smiled at him as he drew back, and went to the light switch shutting it off so the room was bathed in the morning light. “Okay, good, just one more. Like before.” He snapped another picture as she posed. 

Ben grabbed one easel and set it up, nearly tripping over one near black painting of a tree at night as he moved to grab some paints. Rey put her hand to her face, hiding a giggle behind her hand. He rubbed the back of his head as he settled a few to lean against a wall in a stack, leaving more room to walk about. 

“Don’t you sell these things?” she asked him gesturing to them. 

“I do, some have gone for a few hundred.” Rey took a breath in blinking at him. “I would guess that’s a lot to you. I’m not exactly a Rembrandt though.” He grinned and had to fumble around a little more for a blank canvas hiding behind some dark paintings. One she spied half of, and blinked. She’d sure call it blasphemy, it appeared to have two monsters coupling, and one of them she could say might be a reference to some of the pictures of Lucifer that Father Shev had shown everyone. 

“It’s still impressive. I’ve never known an artist!” He smiled at her, looking a lot more relaxed as he found a small foldable stool and settled it in front of the easel. Opening up a metal tin he pulled out several pencils then looked at her. 

“Alright, can you sit on the edge and look up?” Rey complied, keeping her eyes trained up. “Hmm… no, look down.” She gave him a look before staring at the floor. “Much better, now turn your body, like you were going to stand up ah, using the couch to push yourself up.” Rey moved, putting one hand between her legs, one leg planted firmly on the floor the other still partially on the sofa, the other on the arm bracing. “There, perfect.” she heard a snap, the camera, and held still. “Okay, stay still as you can.” 

“Could you play music? It would help.” Rey asked him. 

“Yes of course! Give me a minute.” There was fumbling but she remained dutifully still. He must have exited the room, because after a long moment the loud music emanated from the other room. Ben returned a moment later, “You didn’t have to stay still.” She flushed, but didn’t move. “But thank you again, this really helps.” 

“I’m glad to help.” Rey moved her eyes to glance to Ben. He was focused on drawing something on the canvas. It was mesmerizing in a way watching him. He pursed his lips, staring at the easel, before glancing to her several times. 

“Alright, I got it down, you can move.” Rey stretched to get out the muscles that just had started to cramp. “Do you want to see the sketch?” 

Rey brightened, standing up and carefully navigating the mess on the floor to stand behind him. To steady herself she put a hand on his shoulder, staring at what had to be her. With her hair down, and draping down one eye, with the other glancing at the ‘viewer’. 

“I’m not that pretty.” she told him and he shook his head. 

“Rey,” she blinked as she realized how close she was to him and moved a little backwards to the wall letting her hands fall in front of her. “I, oh, I should get your money.” Ben stood fumbling in his pockets before pulling out a wallet and handing her, Rey blinked at the bill. A fifty dollar bill. 

“No no no no no!” She held up her hands shaking them. “I can  _ not _ take that much!” 

He frowned at her. “Of course you can, you need this right?” he held out the bill to her. Rey grimaced. “Its okay really. Please, take it, I know, I know you need it.” Rey swallowed past a quick sob, as Ben put the large bill into her hands. “Its okay, Bunny, you deserve it.” 

“I don’t understand how you can say that. I didn’t do anything!” Rey put her hand to her face biting back a sob between sadness and joy. “All I did was sit there!” 

“If it makes you uncomfortable, you can always sit for me again…” 

She stared at his face, desperately looking for any kind of lie. Any kind of way to see if he was going to press something else. She felt nothing, there was no tingle of any sort of lie, or attempt to mislead her. But he settled a little back away from her, and back down to the stool. “I mean, if you like.” he told her after a short silence. 

“NO! I liked it.” Rey didn’t have a place to put the bill and stretched out her hand to him. He took it and shook it folding the bill into her hand. “Can you show me around town?” she stared down at her feet again. 

“Right now? Sure.” 

She darted her head back to him then down before she could reach his face. “If you are okay!” she said to her feet. She really had not expected him to go with her right then and there. 

Ben chuckled standing and held his hand out to her again, making her look back up at him. “Come on, just call me packhorse Ben.” 

She smiled, taking his hand as he led her back out of the apartment. This would be the first time outside, and she was grateful to have someone who was kinder than anyone else she had ever met in her life. 

“The big city scare you?” he asked her as she took a steadying breath outside. The city was always busy, full of people.

“Yes, it does, I’ve never been around this many people.” Ben let go of her hand and she stilled as he put an arm around her shoulders. It was just such an odd thing for anyone to do that she froze utterly unsure how to react like anyone else out there in the city would react. 

“Stick close okay? There are some toughs around, do you want me to keep that?” he gestured to her hand and she nodded handing it back to him. He slipped it into a pocket with one hand before his other hand pulled her closer to him now flush with his side. “This okay, Bunny?” 

“Yes. Of course it is. I’d be lost without you.” Rey hugged him with one arm, he stiffened a little, but relaxed as a few more people passed. “It’s not odd right? Walking together?” 

“Nope, a lot of people nowadays actually live together, unmarried, men and women, dogs and cats,” he grinned at her, and Rey let her hand fall. She sighed in relief, it wasn’t odd. It wasn’t strange, and people wouldn’t assume she was some kind of whore just being  _ near _ an unmarried man. “Is Finn coming back anytime soon?” he asked. 

“He called me yesterday, said he’d be back after tomorrow, I…” Rey frowned, swallowing down some anxiety as more people gathered around them for the next bus. “I’m so happy he helped me out….” Finally one of the buses rolled to a stop, brakes lightly squealing saving her from talking more about that place. 

“You’re not the only one who’s glad.” Ben guided her onto a bus, giving the elderly man driving some coins for the both of them. Standing as she sat she grinned up at him. “Maybe we’ll swing by my favorite diner and see if I can’t get you introduced to one of my friends.” 

“That would be wonderful!” He bowed his head. 

“When you meet Hux, just make sure you don’t comment on his hair.” she gave him a confused look. “Red headed step child. Almost literally.” She put her hand to her face and laughed. 

“I’d love to meet him! Everyone!” she got a few looks and flushed a little. 

“Don’t worry, so long as you don’t go  _ Dirty Harry _ on the guy, I’m sure he’ll love to meet you too.” She gave him an uncomprehending look. “Clint Eastwood?  _ The Good, the Bad and the Ugly _ ?” Feeling herself brighten she nodded. “So I’ll have to take you to the movies every night. A local place holds all the good ones, switches them out all the time.” 

“Can I? It’s not too expensive?” 

He waved his hand in dismissal, and she ignored the few looks people gave. Faces pinched in frowns. 

“To get you up to, ah, speed to like now, yes. It’s worth every penny, besides my parents own the place.” 

“Oh my, really?” 

Ben nodded. “Yeah, it can suck, some of Hux’s friends hate how I’m basically ‘the man’,” he told her. “That would be anyone in power, or rich, like the Lakers. Man this is hard.” 

“You’re going to have to tell me what that means too!” she joked. 

Ben grinned down at her and her as the bus halted to a stop. A few women in nearly the same type of dress, though not white, got on chatting easily. She didn’t stand out like a sore thumb, and didn’t know exactly if she was afraid of sticking out, or not. They both held colorful headbands however, like one of the guys in the kitchen who wore the item to keep sweat off food their face. 

“Don’t you worry, I’ll teach you everything,” he told her, breaking her away from the two. “Anything. Do you need to know where the church is?” he winced. 

“No!” she said, frowned, her voice a desperate squeak. “I never want to go near one again.” Unless it was like that tiny little church with Luke. She could bear going there. Having the freedom was intoxicating. She didn’t have to go and the more massive and quite frankly sickening church that she attended, faithfully everyday was not something she ever wanted to repeat. If she could never go to another church again she’d be happy.

“Are you sure? I think, Ash...ash…” he snapped his fingers. 

“Ahsoka?” she questioned. He snapped them again pointing to her. 

“She attends one, If you want to go to one, I suggest that, she’s the tall one right? Blond?” 

Rey giggled and shook her head. The utter casual dismissal of church, and her attendance was more of a relief then the knowledge Finn was on the way back. She wasn’t expected to go everyday. It was a pure breath of fresh clean air. 

She slumped further down into the bus seat next to Ben. All her life, a day without attendance and more? It was tantamount to being a harlot, to being Judas, Lucifer himself. Ben fingered her arm, brushing down on her birthmark. It was just such an odd thing to do, that it broke her out of the relief, and the very last of the fear that had driven her to find Luke and beg his forgiveness for fleeing that place to stare up at him. 

The bus halted to a stop, and Ben pulled her into a loud area. It seemed like every color under the sun of people and clothes was here. Obviously it was some kind of spot to hang out. Rey looked at the stores, a record or music store, a clothes store, among many others. The general chatter of people was happy; they didn’t quiet and giggle behind their hands as she passed. Though, as Ben pulled her through the crowd they parted, like a sea, either purposefully or on purpose. No one seemed to really notice him, and those that did moved away. 

“Here’s a grocery store.” Ben stalled in front of a store with  _ Kroger _ emblazoned on its front. “I can wait outside if you want me to.” 

“I’d like you to tell me what’s good or not.”

Ben smiled and followed her into the store. This place was a little less busy than outside but still everyone was shopping. Rey felt giddy and light as Ben grabbed at things from the shelves to put into her cart. Gaping at the fresh fruits and vegetables, not canned, she felt greedy for them. Ben snuck a strawberry, handing it to her and taking one for himself. She cast a look around before eating it, and grabbing a bunch to eat later after she bought it. 

“Gotta have Koogle, you’ll love it.” Ben told her the other set of shelves held some Jell-O types, Rey grabbed one that held 1-2-3 on it. Mostly because it said three types of jell-O, three in one package, for her it was the best deal ever. 

“This, this is my first time actually shopping really. Being able to get whatever I want.” One didn’t exactly argue when you got free food,even sneaking it from others plates. The same with rent, she lived in a tiny closet in the diner for free while her wages went to utilities. She got a few cents everyday for tips even then, it was far better than Father Sheev making her sleep outside sitting in a pool of cold water. Still people avoided them, but no one shouted, no one hid themselves behind their hands, and no one tried to punish her for being around a male. 

Ben guided her down into a brightly lit hall full of glass covered fridges and tossed into some Swanson TV dinners into her cart. “You might want these, you just heat them up and then serve.” She nodded, looking down at the now fairly full cart. She blinked, nervous tension filling her; she hadn’t even thought of money or the prices of everything. 

“Hey, come on, we should get you a brush, maybe some more hair ties too, and hair junk.” 

“I — what the….” Ben took a long step walking so that he was next to her. 

“If you like, I’d be more than happy to mooch at your place not my parents. Besides, I’m paying for it anyway.” 

Rey hugged him, and he rubbed a hand along her back after a second pause.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He soothed before she could let out a happy sob. “You deserve it right?” 

“Yes?” she asked pulling back. “But… I...” she frowned. 

“I could use some help organizing things at my place.” 

“Thank you! Yes! I can do that. I can’t just let you do all this for me. It’s…” 

Ben took her hands in his, squeezing them. “It’s fine, Rey. If I could, I’d say you deserve the world.” she blushed. 

“Maybe only California?” 

Ben laughed and motioned around her. “Then we better get ourselves some roughs and guns!” 

She giggled, feeling easied again, forgetting about the prices, and things. Ben put few things for her hair into the cart, including more things that would have made some people back home swoon. The more of those things in her cart, the more she relaxed, unworried about having to be anything like that ever again. 


	5. Chapter 5

Rey felt nervous as Ben lead her to a diner, after a trip back to her apartment to put all her groceries into her now far less empty fridge and cabinets, though there was still a lack of silverware and plates in there. She didn’t focus on that instead Ben straightened leading her to a small corner in the dinner. A red headed man and a young woman laughing over a meal. “Hux.” The two jerked their heads up to him, the girl grimaced. 

“What are you doing out of your cave?” she demanded. Their table was mostly clear of food, only having the remains of a dessert and two tall and empty glasses.

“Hey, he’s cool.” Hux stated. “Who’s this?” they turned to her and Rey hunched ready for an apology, Ben pulled her into the booth. She sat closer to the wall, while he sat on the edge of the bench, his body twisted, one leg over the edge and the other under the table. 

“This is Rey, she just moved in to my parents place, he explained for her as she gaped. “Be nice Hux, she’s new to all this stuff.” 

She slid closer to Ben, the woman grimaced. “This is Amilyn.” Hux gestured to her. 

“Yeah, nice to meet you.” she frowned to Ben again. “Ben, why don’t you go out and get Rey something?” 

Rey glanced to him and then to the others. 

“Are you okay here?” he asked, she grimaced, not exactly. But she had to try to get out on her own and interact with more people without fear. 

“Yes, I’m sure it’s fine.” 

He smiled at her and slipped out of the booth. Amilyn stared after him with a glare. 

“I don’t know how you can stand that creep,” she stated flatly. 

Hux sighed putting a hand to his face and Rey turned to them in confusion. Eyes falling off tracking Ben to the front and to one of the waitresses. 

“He’s not a creep,” Hux said. 

“Yes, he is. God, the way he creeps around, like a psycho. He’s like Norman Bates!” She folded her arms across her chest. 

“He isn’t a murderer.” Rey at least knew that movie, it was hard not to know about it after all. Many rants in sermons would detail several movies and the sins in them. “He’s kind!” The other woman rolled her eyes. “Really! He’s helped me so much!” 

“That doesn’t sound like him.” Hux told her and chuckled. She gave him an odd look. “What, is he trying to get shagged?” 

“What does get shagged mean?” 

The two gaped at her. “Dear God, you can’t be serious?” Amilyn replied. 

“Oh, may-be?” Rey flushed looking away from them, feeling both of them staring at her. 

“So you, like him then?” Hux asked her. “He hasn’t even tried? Not even like him at all. He must like you a lot.” He smiled strangely at her so strangely that she looked down to the tabletop.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she replied looking back up at him frowning. 

“The guy is seriously worse than anyone I know. No one ever likes to stand around him; you’re the first. Not even Huggsy likes him,” Amilyn grinned. “He’s got such bad stuff.” 

Hux sighed shaking his head, “I told you I hate that name.” 

Rey looked between the two nervously in her seat her stomach flopping uncomfortably. 

“I suggest coming with me and Amy, sweetie,” He reached out and tried to touch her hand, but she folded her hands in her lap to avoid his touch. “We got ourselves a good guide, I can tell you everything.” 

“What are you even talking about?” Rey demanded as strongly as she could muster in her. 

“This guy knows more about,” Hux cleared his throat “scoring with the ladies than anyone else.” Hux made a lewd and universal motion with his hands. Rey flushed red as the two laughed at her. 

“Really?” she asked lowly. They just continued to laugh at her as Ben got back, slipping next to her. It felt like the back of her neck itched, something wedging into her mind to linger until much later. However with Ben back whatever it might be was gone as he draped an arm around the back of the bench seat hand coming down to rest on her shoulder. 

“Great, the creep is back,” Amilyn stated. 

“Talking about me?” Ben questioned, just a tad darkly. Hux straightened taking a sharp breath in. 

“Only good things!” Rey told him, he turned to her and smiled. Hux sighed in relief, shifting in his seat and giving Rey a quick glance, of thanks she noted quickly. 

“We’ve got to go, later dude!” Amilyn and Hux slid out of the booth, Hux only shaking Ben’s hand once with a wince, leaving the moment their hands unclasped. 

“It was all good?” Ben asked her.

“I don’t understand what they mean when they say no one likes you. That’s all they said.” Ben shrugged and turned to the server that brought out two plates of burgers and fries along with what had to be fizzy soda. 

“That?” he answered as she grabbed a fry and eating it as he spoke. Eyes almost far away in a memory. “It’s been that way since I was a kid. I’m used to it. People like me better when they know me more. It’s always that way.” 

“Well, I like you now, and the more I know, the more I like.” He smiled at her. “You are very kind, not a murderer.” Rey put a hand to her face and grimaced behind it.

“She called me Norman Bates again, didn’t she?” he questioned with a smile. She chuckled and nodded dropping her hand. “Figures, still wary of that. Eat up, we’re gonna go see a movie after this. It will be fun, I promise.” 

“What movie? Not a scary movie right?” 

He stole a fry off her plate and grinned as she scowled at him. “No, it’s called the Rocky Horror Picture show.” She gave him a look that he laughed at. “I promise, it’s not a scary movie. It’s very in time, you’ll like it.” She nodded and took two of his fries. “Hey, those are mine!” he joked. 

“You took one of mine,” she accused. 

Ben grinned and laughed with her. She sipped at the sweet fizzy drink happily. Ben lead her back to her apartment talking a bit about movies that he was going to help her see. Whatever unease with Hux and his girlfriend, forgotten as she stilled in her apartment waiting for him to get her before the movie started. She stalled frozen in the middle of the apartment as the phone rang. Walking to it she grabbed it and held it up to her ear. “Hello?” 

“Rey? I’ve been trying to call all day!” Finn told her. Rey took a breath in. 

“I’m sorry! I…” she blinked, realizing before she could speak it that it would sound more than just odd that she had been gone. Gone with a single man who Finn could barely know who  _ she _ barely knew. “I was out.” Heart beating sick little beats in her chest at the implication of the day’s events going through her head. 

“Yes well, we finished early so I’m going to be there tomorrow.” 

“Are you sure?” she asked him. 

“Yes! Just wait, okay? I’ll be back. We’ll talk then.” Finn hung up the phone leaving Rey with the dial tone again. She set the phone back nervously. Finn would find it odd, of course he would find it odd that she was friends with a man. 

Finn hadn’t ensured that she had food, or some comforts, he just left…Unlike before when he ensured Unkar would at least have her a place to sleep and easy access to food. Rey bit her lip as she changed clothes to something a little warmer. As of now it was just starting to get into night with the sun setting. It was odd to be thinking of someone like Finn that way, but as she slathered some bread with that ‘koogle’ stuff on it savoring the banana and peanut butter taste. 

She felt like someone was preparing her for something with all that she was given and shook that out of her head. If they were prepping, it was so that she could be prepared to dive into the city, and all these people around her on her own. They were good people, and Ben was the kindest man she knew. She may not know very many people, but she knew kindness when she encountered it. Like with that young woman Rose, from what was starting to feel ages ago. She had given Rey a number to call, and had said it would be the number for the apartment she had there. 

That was all she needed to put herself at ease and forget about feeling anxious about the reminder of the strangeness of spending time with an unmarried man. Said man knocked on her door, and she settled herself into a more happy place in her head as she went to the door and him. A perfect feeling of right, of a pure good choice of where she was in her mind. 


	6. Chapter 6

“So, did you like it?” Ben asked her. Rey blinked, unsure of exactly how to feel about that movie and the entire crowd around her as they left the cinema. It was like being thrown into a mine and expected to climb up with nothing but her own hands. “Rey?” 

“Yes?” she answered, and took a step away from him. 

He frowned and put his hands into his pockets. 

“What did you think of the movie?” he asked again. She blushed and looked away from him. 

“I’m sure you’d be arrested for showing that where I lived,” she said. He let out a breath. After a few moments, she grasped for anything to ease the situation. “It, the music was fun.” She looked to him and he seemed to relax a little. 

“I guess it’s progress. A lot of people hate how things are changing,” he told her, and helped her into a late bus. “So you didn’t like it?” 

“It was interesting? I just never saw that sort of thing before. I don’t… know how to feel exactly.” She tried to explain as he nodded. “At home, I’d be called a whore just for talking to men, unmarried men. If that movie showed there, you’d have everyone in a riot!” She smiled at the thought however savoring the thought of their leader suffering. Vainly screaming to establish order, and everyone going mad around him. 

“I hope it does. People need to just realize that progress happens whether they want it or not.” 

“Yes they do!” she blinked and stared down to her feet.

“I am sorry,” he told her and she blinked up at him. “I think I just threw you into the deep end.” He raised his hand to rub the back of his head but she grabbed it and squeezed it, smiling at him. 

“It’s okay.” He drew her up from the seat as the bus came to a stop he put a hand on her lower back just outside the bus taking it away a moment later. 

“Thanks again Ben, I’m really happy.” 

He opened the door for her walking her to her apartment.

“Would you like to come in and eat? I still have some of your mom’s cooking.” She froze at the implications of what she said. It rung with something Father Sheev had said,  _ ‘a whore will never think that she is a whore for doing these things’ _ was the line that sounded through her head. 

“Is something wrong?” he asked shutting the door behind him. Rey gaped blindly, trying to reach for exactly what she was feeling. “You can tell me Rey.” 

“It’s, just, so much of my life has told me everything I’ve done…” Rey swallowed, letting a long breath out. “Or most of everything is because I was born flawed. For being a woman, that given a single moment a woman, would,” she dropped off with a wince. 

“I might just be making it worse.” he replied kindly. She looked up to him with a short smile. 

“No! It’s not you.” she defended quickly. “It, is hard to stop thinking like that. To stop, everything, going into my head all the time.” 

“That I understand.” he stood and Rey shivered. Sheev’s words kept revolving in her head and back out, knotting up her stomach until the popcorn she ate she regretted completely. 

“I’m tired….” she took a breath in and sighed. “I’m sorry. I invited you in for nothing.” 

“Not nothing, Rey. I should be sorry. I’m not being very kind. I’ve been trying to understand you. Where you came from, why you are, this way. To help you, if I can. When I do try it seems to make you unhappy.” 

“Please, I’d like to go to sleep.” She heard him move and a moment later the door opened and he paused in the doorway. 

“See you tomorrow Rey, goodbye.” She didn’t look to him as he left. Rey wasn’t even sure of herself anymore, it wasn’t just that she realized she enjoyed spending time with him, but also something else that was starting to form inside of her. 

Rey buried down the emotions threatening to break the surface, leaning onto her counter for support. “I don’t know what to do.” she looked up and shivered. “Lord, please, tell me what to do. I need your guidance.” But the sky and apartment was silent, there was nothing in her but the empty feeling of sadness. She slid to the ground sobbing, not entirely sure of what to do. This time some more quiet music started up, and she flinched. As she listened to the muffled music she relaxed tears drying 

What would be the right thing to do, what would any person do? Rey put her hands to her face and calmed herself. “I should apologize,” she told herself. “He is just trying to help, and it is me.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Rey could barely sleep. When she became too restless to stay in bed, she got up and went out into the living room. In the darkness, she saw there was a note under her door. There was a note on one, and she read it. 

_ Rey, I apologize for my behavior, I realize that I overstepped bounds, I would like to give you the plates and silverware that I do not use. I noticed you didn’t have any, please use them they just collect dust in my home. _

It was signed with Ben’s name and, when she opened the door, there were a set of boxes on her doormat. She crouched down and opened one of the boxes to find some plates, bowls, and other kinds of dishes. All of them held mostly white and yellow, main colors with floral patterns in the centers. In others there were tea cups, and some water glasses that held more flowers and silverware of all kinds and cooking utensils. Rey brought up one tiny and dainty looking tea cup to her face. She wanted them, and he did say he didn’t use them. The same greedy sort of feeling from the store entered her and she put the cup back into the box with a smile.

She brought them into the kitchen and began to put them away, setting some hot water to boil in a kettle that was with the boxes, low and with white enamel and flowers. She did have some tea, she even had little sugar cubes, that she could toss into the cup, milk too, if it proved too watery she supposed. Tea wasn’t exactly her thing. 

A knock on her still-open door made Rey look up. Ben stood in the doorway, and stared at her. “Now you’re leaving it open?” She blinked at him. “Really, lock your door, you never know if someone will come in.” 

“I am sorry for last night.”

“No I’m sorry.” He moved away from the door, shutting it closed. “This is mostly my fault, I was going to come help you but it looks like you got everything done.” 

“I just heated up some water. Would you like some tea?” she asked.

“Sounds good.” Rey put a tea bag into a cup and set a box of sugar cubes before him, filling the teacup with the still hot water. 

“I don’t exactly know what to do with you,” he said, and she frowned as he sighed, frustrated. Settling down on a kitchen stool he leaned onto the counter. 

“I am sorry about the way I acted last night,” Rey held up her hands before he could talk. “Please just listen.” He nodded to her. “When I was where I was before…” she swallowed. “I was raised in a pretty bad place. I don’t have anything to base,” she gestured to him and herself, “this on.” 

“Would you tell me?” he asked her and put several cubes of sugar in his cup, so much so he had to take a sip to put more in. 

“Father..” Rey grimaced, and stared into her cup. “The place was run by Father Sheev. He commanded us to do what he wanted it. It wasn’t allowed for women to be around the unmarried men, and even married men were suspect if you weren’t married. Finn and I would talk sometimes. The bunkhouse for the unmarried men shared a vent with the one for unmarried women, me and Finn were placed near the ends so we could talk to each other. We both needed to leave, but… he couldn’t get out.” 

“It sounds like a shitty place,” he commented. 

“It was horrible. Finn asked me to get a key to one of the cars,” Rey

shivered in the memory. “Sheev’s wife was arguing with him, that was never good, she, I think she got caught trying to run too. I watched as he beat her to death. In the aftermath, I was able to get a key and I got it to Finn. He left, I think they suspected I did it, but they couldn’t prove anything.” Ben took her hand and she realized they were shaking. “They made me sleep outside until Finn came back for me. I’m so happy he did, I had to stay until he came back, I don’t want people to know I don’t know the world.” 

“I understand that.” he told her and squeezed her hands. “I would place a bet that Finn was the same when he got here.” 

“Here?” Ben blinked and gestured vaguely around the room. “Oh, like in a general 

sense right?” 

“Yes.” he frowned again looking down to the cup before drawing back. “What do you know of your family, since you never mentioned them, I guess your parents are dead?” 

“Yeah. Fath—” 

“Sheev. He does not deserve the connection with the church,” Ben said. “Call him what you want. I suggest asshole, toad, or anything you think could apply.” 

“The… asshole?” She smiled at him and he nodded. “The asshole, he told me my family abandoned me, that my mother and father just left me with him. That I should be grateful to him…” Rey grimaced. “He told me that if I wasn’t, that any sin I did the devil himself would rise out of hell to claim me. He did that all the time to everyone too.Everyone was so scared of it.” Rey blinked up to Ben.

“Sounds terrible. You don’t need to be afraid of the devil claiming you,” he soothed and she smiled at him. “What about that mark on your arm?” 

Rey blinked, and that was when she realized that she was wearing her sole nightdress. Though it covered her fairly well, no less than the dress she had made, it was still a nightdress. 

“I’ve always had it, he told me I was born with it,” she explained, and looked to the birthmark on her upper right arm. It looked like two hands trying to reach each other, Sheev told her it looked like a mark of the devil. Part of her that she buried quickly, knew better than that. “He believed it was from the devil.” 

Ben burst into laughter. “No, it's just a curiosity. Is there anything you need?” he asked and she frowned in thought. 

“I am not sure.” Rey tried to tally what she had, what she might need and flushed red as Ben looked her over. “Clothes?” she told him. 

“I can see that. I’ll get out and wait for you at the door, and we can go clothes shopping.” 

Rey stood up and swallowed gaining the courage to ask him something. “How are you so kind?” 

“I’m not, not really.” 

She moved around the counter to grab one of his hands. “You are the nicest person I ever met.” 

“I’m one of the only people you know, believe me, there are thousands, millions of people kinder than me. I’m only nice because you need it.” Rey winced confused. “I expected you to be different than this.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“You will. I have to check a few things, but I promise I will tell you.” 

“Tell me what?” He smiled as he moved away to the door. “Ben?”

“Believe me, you wouldn’t want to know, not until you’re ready.” 

She stared after him as he opened the door and slipped through it. Still unsure as to what exactly he was alluding to. It seemed to her that he was talking with the slang terms she didn’t know but that everyone but her was privy to. She gave up on trying, and went to get her hair in order and dress in her sole utterly clean thing she owned, the crochet dress. 

Ben was talking with that Hux fellow when she exited the apartments. “How can you even—” Hux said as she shut the door. “Hello,” he said straightening. “Good to see you.” 

“You too,” Rey replied and nodded to him. Ben held out his hand to her and she took it as he walked down the short set of stairs leaving Hux behind without a word.

“He’s just being nosey. I suggest you avoid him.” Ben told her leading her down to the bus stop. 

“What do you mean?” Rey asked. 

“He just is nosey. That is what I mean. He thinks he can outsmart something, but he can’t not with the books he has.” Rey stared at him but he shook his head. “You don’t need to concern yourself with it.” 

“I don’t understand,” she tried but the bus came by. “Ben, will you tell me what you mean?” she asked him, he looked through a window of the bus. 

“Eventually, if this thing stops pestering me. It seems to me that…” he frowned at her. “My grandfather is unsure of my decisions in this life.” 

Rey gaped at him more and more confusion filling her. “I still… that doesn’t… Ben, please.” He motioned her to move and settled down by her on the bus as she slipped to the side.

“Listen, whatever I say, doesn’t really matter, what matters is you and what you want. What do you really want Rey tell me.” 

“I don’t know I…” Ben nodded and put an arm around her shoulders. “I don’t know enough about all of this to know what I  _ could _ want.” 

“Would you care for the world?” 

“Why would I want the world? What do you mean?” 

“Do you want to rule the world?” 

Rey blinked at him again, confusion swirling in her, it sounded like a sort of deal some nefarious demon would hand out. “Like I said then, what do you really want?”

“To be at peace? To know where I belong I guess,” she answered. 

Ben smiled at her, and patted her shoulder before drawing his arm back when she stiffened. “That is something that no one can ever really give so I think my grandfather can shut his face, and listen for a little bit to you.” She gave him a look as he grinned at her, the way he said it was more than just a little odd. 

“Are you crazy?” 

Ben chuckled. “No more than you, Bunny. But I don’t think you hear the word of God. I would know.” She gaped in confusion at him. “Do you hear it?” 

“No, no one does,” he gestured out and away. “See what I mean?” Rey was certain he wasn’t entirely talking to  _ her _ specifically. “But tell me if you do. I’ll know if you lie.” 

“Okay… I think I see why people don’t exactly like you….” 

Ben smirked at her. “If only you really did.” 

“See now, that is just unfair! Why don’t you just tell me!” 

“I will. I promise. Maybe tomorrow. I’ll tell you everything I can. I have to ask my grandfather for some advice however.” 

“You are confusing me on purpose, aren't you?” 

“If I told you, would you believe me, Rey?” 

“Told me what?” 

“You said the devil would come to claim you, and well, here I am, I claim you for mine and mine alone.” 

Rey burst into laughter that Ben joined in on. Her confusion left her. This might all just be a way for her to get over that little fear she had for all the things still lingering from Sheev. Rey leaned into Ben putting her head into his shoulder and relaxing as he stalled before he put his arm around her. 

“Thanks, I think I needed that.” she explained. “If I did want one thing, it is to see that asshole burn in a fiery pit in hell for all eternity.” Rey closed her eyes, and sighed opening them back up to stare at the metal bus floor. It felt alien, yet not to want him to hurt and be in pain. It went against part of her nature to want it, but it was wonderful to want it. 

“Hopefully I can arrange that soon,” 

“Please hurry,” was all she said back, feeling more at ease around Ben. Thinking about Shev hurting was both satisfying but also brought a feeling of guilt in her. This wasn’t right, but it felt so deep inside of her. 

“Karma is a bitch, trust me.” Rey pulled her head up and stared at him. “What someone does comes back to them. It happens a lot, this next stop is ours, we’ll get you up on all the hippest trends.” He changed the subject so fast that she was confused. 

“Okay, just so long as I can get some under, ah…” Rey blushed and straightened next to him. “Garments.” 

“I’m sure the ladies there will help you with whatever you need. I’ll be making a few calls.” 

“That makes me feel a lot better. Sometime soon you might know more about me then Finn does.” Rey rubbed the back of her head, she still had buns in, deciding it wasn’t worth the trouble trying to do some of the hairstyles that she could see on the street and on the bus. Plus it was added security for her, only married women could let their hair down. 

“I hope I will get to know you all the more, you are the most foxy lady I’ve ever known.” She gave him another look. “Foxy means pretty,” he told her and sighed shaking his head. 

Rey flushed and licked her lips. “I think... you are groovy?” 

Ben laughed and pulled her off at small sort of shopping center. 

“Hopefully very groovy. Let’s get you some nice threads Rey.” He put his arm around her shoulders leading her into the center. While she could be fixated on how much money there could be spent on her, the moment she was dropped off with two sales ladies, both wearing the most color she had ever seen on people before, she forgot about it. They chatted, leading Rey into racks of more clothing then she had ever seen. 


	8. Chapter 8

Rey shook as Ben helped her to get her new clothes into her closet and drawers; while they weren’t full, they now held more of her life. She never wanted to leave, if only because she had no idea how to, and no idea what to do with herself. “Ben?” she asked, staring at her dresser where now she had underclothes. Unstained, unused, and in various colors, she liked black for the lack of ability to show stains.

“Yes?” he replied and she turned to him slowly. He was just finishing up hanging up her last outfit, some kind of jump suit like some of the guys who went into the diner had worn. She grasped for something that others would never ever do. 

“Can, I want to throw a birthday party I never had one before.” Ben stopped and turned to her. “It’s,” Rey tried to think without cringing at the utter blasphemy of having a day for herself. “Just a few days away.” she finished casting her thoughts away. 

“Sure, of course. You know, my birthday is in a few days too.” Rey blinked at him walking towards him. “How about we invite your friends and call it yours?” His eye twitched a little, but she hugged him. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

“Yes!” she said into his chest. He rubbed a circle into her back until she finally pulled away from him. “We share a birthday?” she asked him. The details of her birthday weren’t exactly clear, but she did recall Sheev saying she was born in the eight month, on the eighth day, or something like that.

There was a loud knocking, and both of them went to the door where Maz stood, a terrible expression on her face. “_ Rey _! Come with me! You need to see this!” Maz grabbed her, pulling her up the stairs to the Solos apartment. The door was open and she was led into the room with the TV. 

“What’s going on?” Rey tried and then paused as Leia, and Han looked to her then the TV. Rey blinked as the color TV held a great many familiar faces all turned to a church. One of them turned to the camera eyes wide and terrified. 

_ “This hole opened up and hands came out!” _ shouted one of the women who used to cook communal meals. _ “He took Father! He’s in hell!” _It was where Rey used to live. Everyone was dressed the same, thick robe like clothes with the unmarried women covering their hair with caps. In the background with a great many more people then she knew, was the church burning down.

_ “This is a live report from near Sedona in Arizona, where a sinkhole opened up and so far as we know has killed one person,” _ said the reporter, Rey slowly moved towards the TV and settled down to watch. _ “This sinkhole contained a methane pocket. The candles in the church ignited the methane and made the church you are seeing catch fire. So far as we know there was only one fatality. We hope to get more information in the coming days.” _The man signed off and Rey stared at the screen as the anchors talked briefly about the fire, and her community. Part of her was giddy with joy, Sheev was dead, but the other held that unknown fear. That she had been the cause, and she wasn’t sure if that was okay with her now that it happened. 

The elder woman’s words however stuck with her, the devil did exist. Ben put his hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay? Do you want to go back and help?” he asked. 

Rey straightened whatever emotion that had tried to take her gone. “No!” she snapped. “I’m happy he’s dead. I don’t, they wouldn’t want me back aways, even if it was to help them. They probably are just about to reject all help.” 

Ben leaned down kneeling behind the couch as he kept his hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay?” he asked her gently. 

Rey frowned searching herself, she was okay. Her joy over Sheev’s passing outweighed the fear of causing it. “Yes, I’m fine. He’s… the only one who got hurt?” Ben nodded to her, and she smiled. “Good, the rest don’t know any better really, maybe they’ll finally be able to be better people.” 

“I’m sure they will.” She smiled, and stood up breaking contact. “Are you ready to model for me again?” 

“Yes! I…” she frowned. “When is Finn getting back?” He had said today, she recalled, or maybe it was tomorrow. Ben shrugged, putting his hands into his pockets. 

“Oh, don’t you worry dear,” Maz patted her hand. “I’ll keep watch and come get you if he comes while you’re gone.” 

Rey smiled brightly to her and followed Ben out and into his apartment. The rest of the day was really just watching Ben as she stayed still in one spot and he painted. Whatever fear she had that she caused Shev’s death was gone as Ben motioned her to him and she looked over the more detailed painting.

It was mostly just the outlines of color without any shading but she grinned at him, seeing herself in a nearly dark room. “You like the dark?” she asked him and gestured to one of the ones on the floor. 

Ben grinned to her and nodded just a little. “When you paint with a lot of black or dark colors, you can’t really go back if you make a mistake. I think it’s an appropriate metaphor.” 

She grinned back to him and pointed to what was going to be an open window. 

“Are you going to paint yourself?” He blinked at her. “I think you should.” 

“Maybe I will. Or you could try to find my self portrait in this mess.” 

“You have one?” 

He shrugged, and stood up stretching. “Somewhere. I can try to find it, eventually, come on. Let’s get some food.” He guided her out and just at the top of the stairs they caught Maz and Finn chatting. Rey paused, and took a step away from Ben as Finn looked up from Maz to the two. 

“Hello dears! Just getting done?” Maz asked smiling brightly. 

“Yes, Maz,” Ben replied and smiled down at Finn. “You must be Finn, Rey told me great things about you.” 

Finn looked between the two, and in four long strides was up the stairs pushing himself between her and Ben. “_ Rey _! I,” he froze, and grimaced. “Did you hear the news?” He looked back to Ben a trail of panic lacing into his eyes.

“What news?” she asked and settled back against the wall and railing of the staircase. It was just as ornate as the rest of the house. 

“About home, did you hear about what happened?”

Rey blinked at Finn and nodded. “I saw a news show on it for a little while.” she told him. 

Finn glanced back to Ben again. “Come on, we need to talk.” Finn grabbed her hand and pulled her down the stairs without much preamble. “_ Alone _!” he called back, before he went to her door and grimaced when he opened it and pulled her in, locking it after the both of them. 

“What is this about?” she asked, and moved away from him. 

“Rey, did he ask for anything? Did you give him anything?” Finn asked quickly. 

“What are you talking about?” 

Finn sighed. “Sorry, I came as soon… look that doesn’t matter. Rey are you okay?”

She frowned at him. “Yes, they… Ben helped me a lot.” 

Finn stared at her. Rey smiled and moved into the kitchen pulling out the now gloriously settled Jell-O. “Look!” Rey pulled out the clear container and shook it. “I made Jell-O! Leia and Maz told me they would teach me more, and I can’t wait! I’m going to learn how to cook, and be norm—” 

“Rey, Ben, what has he been doing?” He asked her frowning. 

Rey set the bowl down and stared at him. “He’s been so nice! I’m modeling for him! He’s a painter! He bought me some clothes and all these things.” Rey gestured to the kitchen then to her room. 

“Ben is nice?” he asked slowly walking to her as if the idea was more alien to him than anything else. 

“Yes!” She smiled. “He likes my dress.” She pulled at the top hem, and Finn took a sharp breath in. “He took pictures, and he is a bit strange, but he’s so nice! They all gave me tupperware and food! The first night Finn, they gave me pie!” 

“That is good,” he managed to say as he put his hand to his face. “Anything else?” 

Rey searched for something else. “They gave me books! I’ve been reading this one called Dante!” Rey darted for the bookcase. Smiling again to Finn as he stared at one that she pulled out he blanched at it. Rey blinked and shrugged, putting it back. Titled _ Hostage to the Devil _ Rey’s only note was that it was the newest book here, and seemed to never have been read at all. 

“Did he _ say _ anything?” Finn pressed walking slowly to Rey. “Anything weird?” 

Rey frowned. “He asked me if there was something I wanted, I told him…” she blinked. “Nothing really, but, I wanted Sheev dead.” Finn froze just before he took quick steps backwards away. “If god existed, he would have done something a long time ago about Sheev.” Rey put the book back shutting the case. 

Finn backed to the door slowly. “Finn?” 

“I need to go!” 

Rey held up her hands out to him standing. “But you just—” 

Finn held up a hand in silence. “Get ready to go, I need to go do something. Stay here.” He pointed to the ground, and fumbled with the lock before opening the door. “Lock the door!” He slammed the door shut as she gaped after him frozen. She had no idea what he intended to do, he couldn’t- 

She heard him run up the stairs and still stayed in the near center of her apartment. She went into the kitchen, and put the Jell-O back into the fridge, her stomach now roiling. Should she follow what he wanted her to do? She could throw some things into her old suitcase and be ready, but… Rey stood in the kitchen. She didn’t want to leave, she felt like she couldn’t leave. Not now. It wasn’t right. 

She heard some kind of muffled voices, and followed them to her room, where she could hear Ben’s music easier. Casting a look around she found a small vent on the ceiling. “...your plan?!” she heard Finn yell. 

_ “Plan?” _ the voice that came out made Rey shiver. It seemed to be like someone, or something, dead. Gravely and maybe with a mechanical edge to it. _ “You think there is a plan?” _

“What are you doing?” Finn demanded. “She doesn’t—” Finn’s voice dropped off. “She doesn’t know.” 

_ “As I myself have surmised, young one. But you are just as part of this as us.” _

“She is innocent!” Finn yelled. “If she is bound, she needs out.” 

_ “A bind? Oh child,” _ Rey stared up at the vent. _ “That was not made at all. It pleased me to do this, and you…” _ the voice paused and Rey felt something like a shiver up her spine. _ “You have no part in what I do. Or what she does. If she wants, she can do what she pleases. All that I would ask is that she remains in my domain.” _

“That wait… what do you mean?” Finn demanded. 

“_ Child, I cannot take what those will not give to me, now,” _ She heard some scuffling, _ “Oh, and you will not interfere with her, if you do...” _ The next words were muffled too low to hear. Her mind went over and over again with what she heard until she heard a knock and walked slowly to the door. 

“Rey?” Finn called through the door, he could have opened it, she hadn’t locked it, but she opened the door to Finn. He grimaced. “I have to leave. I’ll call.” She blinked and gaped at him. 

“What, what was that about!?” she demanded to him and grabbed the sleeve of his green military shirt. “I heard you talking!” Finn blanched and yanked his arm away from her, and glanced up to the stairs. Rey looked up with him, Ben just barely started down them from the top. 

“I have to go now. I’ll call if I can.” He left before she could stop him. Rey knew he was fleeing. A sob made its way up her throat, as her only true friend left her. Ben put a hand on her shoulder and she moved into his chest sniffing into his shoulder. 

“I don’t understand!” she lamented into him. “Why didn’t he even… He was supposed to be my friend!” 

“I know, it will be okay Rey,” he soothed and rubbed a hand down her back. “Come on, you need to eat.” He guided her into her apartment, leaving the door open as he settled her down into a stool. “What would you like to eat? I’m not the best cook.” She sniffed back her tears, the sadness of Finn just leaving her with nothing but a vacant feeling inside of her chest. Her mental tally of things came back to her head, glad to have a distraction from everything in her head. 

“We got steaks?” she asked him. 

He grinned to her and nodded. “I’m going to go get a pan from my mom, wait here okay?” As he left the kitchen,she reached out and touched his arm. He stopped turning to her. “You can come with,” a smile took her face and he reached out and touched her cheek as she slipped off the stool. “I’m gonna need to get you pans now I guess…”

“Are you sure?” she asked him as he moved his arm across her shoulders, pulling her with him out of the apartment and to the stairs. 

“So long as you want them? I will give you anything you could ever want,” he replied grinning. 

It was odd really, but who was she to really judge? She didn’t know people and for a much as she knew this could be the norm outside of the cult she grew up in, that was now more like a long forgotten memory. 

“Thank you, I… thank you.” She forgot about everything from who Finn talked with, and the strange and cold voice as they reached Ben’s parents’ apartment and was warmly welcomed by his parents.

Rey was tasked with making some deviled eggs for the party and it was then that any sort of tingle of doubt of wanting to stay really left. Ben was a fantastic cook, leaving the steak bloody, as he cut it up for her leaving the pieces on the plate so she could watch him as he tucked into his own portion. It was intoxicating watching him, he knew more about this then her and she needed him.


	9. Chapter 9

Rey blinked over the large pot of boiling eggs, she had a little timer that was ticking away for how long she needed to boil them. After a knock she paused and looked to the door. Ben settled down a set of art supplies at her door. “Can I use your room for the last bits? It has a lot better light.” She grinned to him. 

“Of course, I’m just getting all the eggs boiled!” She turned back to the eggs, her real first try at cooking something. Only one person was allowed to cook back home. She pointed to her side room as Ben carried in various art supplies into the guest room that sat empty of anything but another sofa that was a twin of his. 

“Thanks,” he called and settled at the kitchen counter. He grabbed a fruit that she had grabbed thinking it had to be some kind of apple. Red with a sort of flared crown at the end, but he didn’t start biting into it, and instead ripped it in half with surprising ease. “It’s a pomegranate. You’ve never seen one?” he asked her without looking to her. Instead he offered one half to her, containing a lot of shiny red fruits on the inside. 

“I thought it was a type of apple!” she told him. He chuckled as she took the proffered half and started to pick out a few of the seeds. 

“Eat them, they’re crunchy and sweet.” He pulled off some of the membrane to take a large bite out of one clustered sphere. 

“They look a bit like bug eggs.” she told him. He snorted and she grimaced and put the ones she plucked out into her mouth. It was wonderful to eat, crunchy and sweet.

“You like?” he asked and grinned to her. She was saved from replying by having to deal with the eggs as the timer rattled off. The eggs done, she returned to her fruit, and carefully plucked them all out as he still ate whole sections, not really caring too much about the membrane. 

“Need help?” He asked and gestured to the sink, trashing his half and wiping down his face and hands. 

“Yes! Your mom gave me a book of recipes but I never got to cook before.” 

“All you need to do is ask, I like the afternoon sun better than the morning anyways. Leaves a more intimate feeling.” He smiled to her and stood coming around to the main kitchen. “You peel the eggs, I'll get everything separated.” He pulled down a large bowl, and a long baking sheet. 

“Thanks!” She grabbed a still warm egg and started to crack the egg peeling it off. That at least was something she knew how to do. Passing it to Ben, he grabbed a small knife and cut it in half. Putting the yolk into the bowl and the white halves onto the sheet pan. 

“What would you want as a present?” He asked her taking another from her. 

“Present? This, this isn't enough?” she looked around the kitchen. 

“You need more.” He replied.

“I'll think about it.” 

He elbowed her gently. “Its okay to want things Rey.” 

She smiled and blushed looking down at the sink of eggs. She had gotten to watch a bit more TV with his parents and him, the commercials that she had seen had come to her mind. 

“I think… one of those pot things? That cook things inside?” She peeled an egg keeping her eyes down. 

“Crockpot?” She nodded peeking at him. 

“Then I'll get it for you Rey” He smiled to her.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked him and stared at his face. All of this money spent on her for no reason that she could fathom. 

“Because you've never had these things, you grew up in such a horrible place, Rey. I want to help you know the world and be comfortable in it.” She grinned. “Did you think I'm doing it for something else?” 

“No! It's just, no one else does this, do they?” 

Ben took another egg and squeezed her hand. “They should.” She flushed again and dropped her eyes back to the sink. “I want to make up for all the unkindness you experienced. So that you never have to suffer again.” Rey shook her head where she stood. 

“How can you be so kind when no else is?” He chuckled. 

“There are many that would disagree with you.” he replied. 

She laughed getting more eggs peeled for him. “Then they are stupid.” He laughed with her. 

“I am glad and more than happy to fulfill any whim you might have.” 

“I don't really have that many. I need to know more about life outside that place. I never had schooling,” she admitted. 

“I can hire a tutor. My old tutor might still be around.” She let out a sigh of relief. “Its okay to not know things, the only shame is refusing to learn.”

“Please! I thought it was embarrassing. In the diner when I didn't know anything, people would laugh at me.” 

Ben stalled leaning closer to her. “People just don't know any better. I'll help you get up to speed as fast as I can.” 

She grinned to him more relief flooding through her. “I used to be happy to learn basic numbers reading and writing, that was hard. They didn't teach girls writing, so I copied words I wanted.” 

Ben shook his head. Rey grimaced at the reminder and asked, “Is there more news of the others?” 

“I believe they disbanded.” She smiled and leaned into him. “Right now a few friends of my mom and dad are helping. A pair called Owen and Beru, I believe.” 

“Thank you, I'll have to thank your parents too!” The last egg put into his hands he hugged her. “What, what would they like?” 

“My mom admired that dress, her favorite color is purple.” 

She smiled. “I can try! I'll need to go to a yarn shop.” She paused a moment as he raised his hand and pulled out one of the buns from her head. “Ben?” 

“You should let your hair down, it's beautiful.” Rey flushed and let him pull out the other two buns, and run his fingers through her hair. “Besides I need it down for the painting.” 

She swallowed and nodded feeling giddy and light. “Lets get this done,” she said and he smiled at her again, turning to the bowl of yolks. 

“With pleasure,” She smiled at him watching as he mixed the yolks up to form a deviled egg mixture. After they settled everything into the fridge, on a wide circle plate were her deviled eggs, her cooking and it felt wonderful. It was a success, that she had done everything right with no failure as far as she knew it. 

“Come on Rey, let’s get to the most despairing part, the lighting.” 

She floated on a haze of joy as he led her into her side room, “These pull out into beds, my mom thought these would do good as sitting rooms too.” Ben explained as she settled onto the sofa. He pulled the curtains out and away locking them down with a metal hook and ties. While his were black, hers were a cheery orange. “Okay, stay as still as you can.” He settled in front of the easel, and for just about a minute fiddled with the paints, before taking a steadying breath. 

“It will be wonderful!” She told him, he glanced at her and smiled. 

“Thanks, this part is always stressful, it’s why I like using night and darkness. No need to worry about the light there.” His hands blurred working, almost blinding fast on the painting as she watched him. She couldn’t easily tell what colors he was using but his lips were pursed and he kept glancing to her and then back to the painting. After what felt like an hour he stopped and settled the brush down. 

“Done?” When he nodded to her, Rey leapt up and went right by him and smiled at the painting. To her it looked like she was being bathed in light as it streamed out of the window. It caught in her brown hair leaving almost blonde highlights of light. Ben was blinking at her as she put her hand on his shoulder staring at the painting. “It’s wonderful! I can’t ever think of being able to do something like this!” 

He smiled as she racked her eyes over the painting. In just the corner of the window she noted a dark shaped, more of a suggestion of a person than anything else. “Is that you?” she asked him being careful not to touch the surface. 

“Yes,” she looked down at him and he grinned at her look. “It’s supposed to be about you not me,” he told her. Rey brushed her hand through his hair, before stalling a moment later, then dropping her hand blushing. She stepped away from him and put her hands behind her back. “Rey?”

“I’m fine, I…. don’t touch people often.” she explained lamely. Ben stood up and pulled her into a tight hug, she returned it closing her eyes. 

“You can touch me all you want,” he told her quietly. She shivered, flushing red. A knock on her door saved her from further embarrassment. She nearly fled from him to the door yanking it open. Maz blinked at her carrying a few bags into her home.

“Oh, hello dear!” Maz settled the bags down on the floor in front of the counter as Ben emerged from the side room. The old woman waved at him as Rey walked to her. “I’ve brought some party supplies, do you mind if we hold it in here?” Rey blinked as Maz pulled out bottles of liquor

“No! I don’t mind at all.” Rey blinked down at one, they weren’t just mostly alcohol. The labels actually made them for the most part into mixes or additions. Ben walked up behind her, and Maz stepped away as he put an arm around her waist. “Ben? What’s all this for?” Rey picked up one and looked it over, Maz settled the rest of the mixes and supplies down.

“These are all for cocktails,” he told her, Rey settled the mix down and licked her lips. She felt a strange sensation coil into her heart and gut, before Ben pulled away a moment later. Putting his hands into his pockets. “Don’t touch the painting, it has to dry, I’ll come by tomorrow to seal it.” 

“Can I keep it?” she asked him and he chuckled. 

“How about I make another one for me?” she blushed, and nodded. “I’ve been thinking of another to do anyways, but I haven’t settled on just what.” 

“Anything! I really do like watching you paint.” She put her hand to her lips and felt her cheeks go hot. 

“I… thanks. It’s not always something I get to do a lot recently. My grandfather doesn’t exactly like it. He prefers politics.” Rey sighed in relief.

“Maybe he needs a hobby? Like my,” Rey fiddled with the edge of her dress again. “My hobby? Crochet?” 

Ben laughed and she laughed with him. “I believe he does. Too bad he’s not the type for it.” Ben grinned to her, and she shifted as he turned to leave. She stepped up to him and hugged him, he hugged her back pulling away and cupping her cheek with his hand. He brushed a thumb over her lips and this time she didn’t feel the need to run, or pull away. “I’ll see you in the morning, you should call some friends.” She frowned looking down. 

“I only really have one,” she told him. 

“Ask her to bring some of her friends then,” he told her simply. Rey brightened and nodded into his palm. Ben drew back heading up the stairs stalling at the top to wave at her. Part of her was frozen still in her apartment and the other wanted to follow him up the stairs and see exactly what it was like to ‘cohabitate’ with Ben for the night. 

A large black shadow which loomed over the kitchen counter. She knew in some way, she was looking at its back. With the fading light it looked monstrous, and it turned to her. It was lanky with long limbs and long fingers, tall almost to the point where the space there made it hunch over. She didn’t feel scared by it, far more curious than afraid, but she was locked at her door staring at it as it seemed to stare right through her. Then it vanished, like smoke clearing away leaving her unfrozen and blinking after it. 

Her heart thudded in her chest as she walked to the kitchen where the shadow had been. But still there was nothing, no holes, no murky darkness, nothing to indicate that it was ever there. Rey shook her head, and settled on a bath, that would help her heart to calm down. Just a trick of light, or maybe just her tired eyes, she figured as she soaked her feet. She turned around and saw nothing, although she did feel like something watching her, that eased away and she resolved to ask Maz about it. She seemed to have a lot of books like that, maybe one of them was about the shadow she saw. 


	10. Chapter 10

Rey didn’t have to seek Maz out; she, Leia, and Ben were there early in the morning, putting up streamers, and paper signs. Cups, plates, and more. Rey busied herself with filling up the deviled eggs and trying to think of how to describe what she saw to Maz. “Maz? What is a shadow?” the three of them paused and looked to her and she flushed. “Nevermind!” 

“No dear! What do you mean?” Maz questioned, pulling Rey to sit down on her couch. Rey shifted in her seat. 

“After Ben left last night, there was a shadow. Like a person in my kitchen.” The silence in the room actually scared her more than any shadow. Like all sound was sucked out and left a gaping void.

“You do-didn’t see anything else than that?” Maz asked and took her hands smiling up at Rey. 

“No, just the shadow.” 

Maz looked to the other two, and shooed them. Leia quickly went out of the apartment, but Ben stayed, stepping up behind her. Maz frowned but he settled in next to her on the arm of the couch.

“Were you afraid?” Ben asked her. “I’ve seen… a lot of ghosts. Some of them can be quite scary.” 

She shook her head. “No. it was just weird. I've never seen that sort of thing before.” 

Ben smiled at her, pulling her into a hug. 

“That's probably my second husband,” Maz said carefully looking at Ben not her. “He was always kind of strange.” 

“Okay, I just wanted to know what I saw.” She smiled into Ben's shoulder. At least now he didn't smell like paint thinner or paint. Just soap. 

“I'd say that some things should mind their own businesses. But so long as no harm comes to you, it's fine.” 

Rey sighed. “Why are you talking like there is someone else?” 

Ben smiled, pulling her closer. “Sorry Rey. But some people can't exactly be ignored.” 

Maz got up and moved away from them. 

“Fine, but I still want to know everything,” said Rey. 

He chuckled, “Soon I promise, it has to be...” He paused frowning. “Someone doesn’t want to listen to reason.” 

“Then don't listen to him,” she said simply and pulled back. 

He was frowning and staring off like he wasn't seeing the present. “It's not that easy, like I said. Some people can't be ignored.” 

“Okay, Ben,” she took one of his hands and he blinked at her. “If you need help I'm here. You can always come to me.” 

He grinned at her and pushed himself off the couch. Rey followed him up as he stretched a little. 

“Thank you, how about you try to call a friend of yours. I have to go seal your painting.” He touched her cheek again but left. Rey blinked suddenly mostly alone in the apartment again. She didn't have to search for Rose's number, having memorized the whole thing, chanting it at night like a mantra. Rose said if she had a car, she would have taken Rey from the dinner. But she and a lot of others were on a bus and Rey had no money for fare. 

She licked her lips as the phone rang, hearing some muffled talking from Ben. “Ugh, hello?” Rose is unfamiliar, yet still there in her memories voice came through the line. “It’s early what? Rent?” 

“ Rose, do you remember a Rey?” she asked the phone. There was some more mumbling, she was not sure if it was Ben or Rose. 

“Rey, Oh Rey! The scared girl!” she heard shuffling on the phone. “Yes I remember, what? Are you okay?” 

“Yes I’m fine, I’m in an apartment near San Francisco.” she stared at the wall waiting. Rose mumbled something. 

“OK cool, what is it then?” Rose asked and groaned. 

“Ar—” Rey shook her head. “I’m having a birthday party soon… And you’re the only one I… know… who can come by.” 

“A birthday? With who? Who is all there? When?” Rose snorted. 

“Umm… Ben Solo?” Rey heard something drop and clatter and at least four different swears. “Rose?” 

“Yes!” Rose called distantly, and fumbled with the phone on her end. “Yes yes yes, what? The Solos? Did you say you are with the Solos?” Rose demanded into the phone. 

“Yes? Han, Leia, Ben?” she questioned. Then more swearing from Rose’s end. 

“Holy hell, Rey. How in the world did you get there?” 

“Is there something wrong?” 

“No! My god, the Solos run like half the state, girl! Where, oh you probably didn’t know. But hell yes! I’m going. Give me the address!” 

Rey smiled into the phone relaying the address and time.“They, they said you could bring a few of your friends…” 

“This is gonna be sweet. You landed, in the golden hills for sure!” 

“Are they that important?” 

“Yes! They aren’t as active as when I was little, but seriously, these guys own everything. They treating you right?” 

Rey relaxed, and leaned against the wall by the phone, smiling. “They are very nice. They let me take some tupperware from their home.” 

Rose breathed out in a whistle. “They own the tupperware brand, Rey. I’m not surprised.” Rose laughed into the phone. “I’ve got to go get ready, if I’m gonna be going to a Solo party, I need to spend a few hours getting ready.” 

“Why?” Ben walked out and smiled at her. “Ben doesn’t care, right?” she asked looking at him. 

“Care about what?” he asked. 

“Dressing up.” Rey gestured to him. Rose was silent on the phone. But Ben nodded to her with a smile. 

“Dear god girl, you are talking to them?” Rose whistled again. “Well if they are okay with it.” 

“Yes! Of course they are!” 

Rose mumbled something. “Okay, I’ll be there. I might bring… two of my friends. You’ll like them, I promise!” 

“Thank you! Thank you for being so nice to me, Rose!” 

“No problem!” Rose squealed into the phone as Rey hung up and gave Ben a look. 

“Your friend can come?” 

“Yes, she said you guys are very rich.” 

Ben shrugged as Rey gestured to the kitchen unsure how to put what she wanted to say. “Believe me, wealth means nothing without you.” Ben grinned and held out his hand to her. “Come on, you need to decide where to put the painting. We can get it framed later.” 

She smiled and took his hand. 


	11. Chapter 11

Just before the guests arrived, Ben brought down a truly massive contraption that played cassette tapes and plugged into the wall. He had several cassettes labeled ‘party mix’ one through ten, and started playing the first as Rey helped Leia and Maz set everything. Taking a deep breath to steady herself—it was just a party, most people probably wouldn’t even glance at her—and that alone helped calm her nerves. 

“Rey?” He held out his hand in front of him and bowed, she blinked at it. “Let me show you a few steps.” Blushing Rey took his hand, and he pulled her closer to him, taking her other hand. 

“We never danced,” she told him, and Ben laughed, before he let go of one hand and spun her around, pulling her into a small circle. 

“It doesn’t matter, this is for the slow song that will come up. Put your hand on my shoulder.” He guided a hand to his shoulder, and then put his hand on her side, slowly guiding her into a circle. “Just keep your feet from tripping or,” he leaned to her ear so that she could feel his breath on the side of her neck. “Just stand on my feet, I’ll bare a little pain to dance with you.” 

Ben spun her around again, pulling her even closer to him. “Now now! Save it for the party you two!” Maz called. 

Rey pulled away from him, and stared at her feet and knees, she had chosen to wear a short dress that exposed her knees. She felt brave enough to do so, taking solace in that Ben was there, and that Rose was too. Rose had worn a similar dress when they first met would be coming by. 

“Can’t have fun now?” Ben questioned, putting a hand on her lower back. 

Maz ‘tsked’ at him. Her demeanor slightly different from before, more brave, or maybe something else. 

“Are you making drinks?” Rey asked her, Maz, laughed, and finished setting up her small area on the counter. There was a bucket of ice and alcohols and mixes in front of her. It boggled her mind at all the things there. 

“Yes dear, here, let me make you something sweet.” 

Ben pushed her towards Maz, and she looked to him as she heard just under the music people approaching. Maz’s hands worked fast, putting various things in shakers. She grinned to Rey as she shook them theatrically, and then strained it out into a glass. Maz grabbed some spice Rey didn’t remember having and drew a line down with some kind of other liquid, then finally passed it to Rey as several people walked in. 

Swallowing down, Rey took it, and watched as a small group of five men and three women walked in. One of them was Hux, and the other was Amilyn; Ben greeted them all, and the moment they could the two walked to her and Maz. 

“Good, you’re here.” Hux said and turned to Maz. “Drink please.” 

“I don’t know why you asked me to come. Huggsy, I hate that guy so much.” Amilyn said and Hux sighed. “Telling me to talk to him? Creep.” 

Rey frowned and moved away from the two, not wanting to be privy to the conversation. Maz gave them both a look, as more people arrived. Rey sipped at her sweet and creamy drink heading out to a corner by the counter so she could have easy access to food. 

“Rey!” a familiar voice called just as Rey finished the drink, handing the glass back to Maz who waved her off before Rey could try to clean it. Rose walked to her with another person beside her. “You look fantastic!” Rose said next as the last of the people moved away and Rey could smile and give Rose a small hug. 

“Thank you for coming!” Rey told her and Rose laughed, before the other girl next to her moved closer to them both. 

“This is my friend, Jessika. The other friend was sick, she went to a huge party last night.” Rose explained. 

The young and plump blond woman took a nervous glance around. “Hi, Rose told me you were pretty cool,” she said lightly. “This is weird.” 

Rey blinked at her, as the music was turned up a little louder, Rey pulled them just a little ways away from the main room to talk.

“Weird? Weird how?” Rey glanced to the party. it seemed fairly calm, people chatted so that it was a low hum. 

“They feel like sharks,” Rose said and gestured to the group. Rey watched, she could see some people maneuvering, and it did seem like some were circling, with strained sort of smiles. People avoided, or gravitated towards, Ben. He spoke with a few, but seemed to dismiss the others. “I thought this was gonna be a ballroom thing, I could find some rich guy to marry!” Rose chuckled. “You are okay, right?” 

“Yes! Of course I am!” 

Rose frowned, and looked to Ben, before looking back to Rey. 

“What is it?” 

“That guy is a creep. I mean the way he looked at me and Jess? It was creepy. Like he could see through me.” 

“And me,” Jessika said. Rey blinked at the two. “He told me to go talk to him when he was free, yeah no. I am not going near that guy ever.” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Rey told them. 

“Let me get a drink. Jess what do you want?” 

Jessika frowned at Rose. “Just some water, I don’t trust anything.” Rey grimaced in confusion. “Oh at some parties, they like to spike drinks with bad stuff. One of my friends went to this band party and they were drinking these punches with LSD in them.” Jessika gestured to the group. “I don’t want to do that sort of thing ever.” 

“Is that bad? That stuff?” 

“Yeah, its bad. It makes you see things that aren’t there.” 

Rose came back with a beer bottle and a glass of water. “That old lady at the bar was creepy too.” 

Rey gaped at the two, her heart thudding uncomfortably in her chest. She wanted to defend Ben and Maz, but she did not want to lose her only link to the outside world. 

“Why was she creepy?” Rey asked her. 

Rose shrugged and took a small swig of beer as Jessika grimaced and set the water down without taking a drink at all from it. “She told me that I may be strong spirited but just being here is nice to see. It was so weird. I don’t know how you can stand that, Rey.” 

“They don’t act like that around me,” Rey replied and the two looked to the group before looking back to her. 

“That is even more creepy. Rey, do you want me to take you away?” Rose asked her and Rey’s heart thudded in her chest. Thankfully, Hux detached himself from the bar and headed towards her, standing just behind the two girls. Amilyn was not with him as he cleared his throat. 

“Rey, a word now” More than eager to flee the uncomfortable talk, she let Hux pull her away from them and guide her near to the door outside. 

“What are you?” He demanded harshly but quietly. Rey blinked at him. “What spell are you using? How can you not have it? How can you resist? My book says nothing on this.” he asked rapidly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Hux grimaced at her, and then grabbed her arm, forcefully turning her and pointing towards Ben. Amilyn was talking to him, and at first she was frowning. Then she seemed to be hit by something, before smiling and talking to him a lot more animatedly. Ben nodded along with her, and then smiled as she reached out to his hand to shake it. Rey couldn’t hear what was being said, but in some place within her, Rey did not like what had just transpired. Hux pulled her closer to him. 

“What are you to him?” he demanded again. Rey tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his grip on her arm. “Tell me now! You don’t have the mark as far as I've seen.” 

For the first time since she got here, she felt fear, but just after her heart keyed up, Hux froze and looked behind her. He let her go so fast that Rey stumbled back into a chest of someone else. Looking up, relief flooded into her, as Ben gently put his arm around her shoulders and guided her behind him. 

“See you later. Thanks Rey,” Hux said with wide pupils, before running away from the party, leaving his girlfriend completely along there. 

Rey watched Ben as he followed Hux out with his eyes. Amilyn didn’t even seem to notice him gone as she floated in what seemed like a happy daze over to Maz. 

“Are you okay, Rey? You looked scared.” Ben said and turned to her bending down and settling his hands on her shoulders. She shook the rest of the lingering fear and hesitated before she touched his cheek. 

“I’m fine, I think he was drunk?” she paused staring at his neck. Ben pulled her into a hug and she sighed into him relaxing. 

“Well, I told you he was a desperate fool. Come on, I want to spend the rest of the party with you.” He pulled away and cupped her cheeks in his hands. Rey blushed; her heart now felt giddy and light. 

“I would love to!” She let him lead her into the main crowd. Rose was right—Rey did note now inside of the main crowd, people circled around them, several of them looking at Rey and Ben, then chatting too low to be heard. Each one seemed to make their own circle around and around. From the inside it felt like she was being put on some kind of display, but it was eased down after a slower song came on the speakers and Ben pulled her into the same kind of hold he did before swaying her as they danced to the music. 

Rey did notice no one else was dancing like this, all of them sticking to just small groups.

“It will okay Rey.” He soothed, running a hand down her back again. 

She kept her hand on his shoulder, and the other pulled his into a hold as she rested her head into his shoulder. “Why don't people like you?” she asked him again hoping again for the truth to come out from him. He stalled for a moment then continued. “Ben?” she demanded.

“I said so before. With Hux. Some are so desperate for what they want, they would rather run, then get it. Thinking the cost is high.” She frowned into his shoulder. “It’s just what… I am Rey. People either want me, or don't. I wouldn't worry about it.” 

“You aren’t making things clearer.” She told him and lifted her head. 

“Rey, I already told you—” he began but was cut off. 

“Rey,” Rose said fairly loudly and put her hand on Rey's shoulder with a glare to Ben. “Me and Jess are leaving.” There was a strange sort of look to Rose, she looked up to Ben. “If you need anything, Rey. Call. I promise I'll help if I can.” 

“I'm fine, Rose. Thank you so much for coming by.” 

Rose looked from her to Ben again then slowly walked back to Jessika, before pulling the other woman out to the door. Jessika looked frantically at Ben and then they were gone. 

“She seems very kind.” Ben dropped his hands away from her, staring after them for a moment before looking back to her. 

“She was. When I was working in the diner she was very nice,” Rey replied. “But she was moving to the city with little to nothing, I'm glad she's doing well.” 

Ben smiled and gestured a little out towards the side room. “Do you want to come with me and relax?”

Rey shrugged as he led her into the room. Two people were there, both men and both older than Ben. They had much shorter hair, almost military cuts, and had the curtains drawn. There was a sweet yet sort of skunk like smell to the air of their smoking. “These guys knew my grandfather, and one fought with him in the war.” 

Rey nodded her head to the two older men. 

“They don’t make war like they used to kid,” said one of them, a dark man who wore a coat loosely on his shoulders. “I’m Lando. Friend of his dad mostly.” He reached out and she took his hand shaking it. “This silent guy is Tarkin.” The other snorted. 

“I have no idea how you convinced me to come here.” Tarkin said. “But it is nice to meet you. We have been friends of the Solos since we met Ben’s grandfather.” 

Ben settled Rey down into one of the seats a new armchair and now she noted Lando had a small hand rolled cigarette. He handed it to Ben, and he held it out to her. 

“When you breathe it in, you want to hold it in as much as possible.” He told her as she took it. “Its okay, it’s just pot.” 

“She’s never smoked before?” Lando asked. “Old fuddy here uses it for Glaucoma.” 

Tarkin snorted. 

“It’s not gonna make me go crazy like that movie right?” 

The two older men blinked at her and Lando laughed. She flushed, as she tried to breathe in the smoke; her lungs didn’t exactly like it so she ended up coughing. Ben chuckled as he took the cigarette from her hand and breathed it in easily, then passed it to Tarkin. She recovered as Tarkin breathed in his own lungfull. 

“No, Rey, that movie was silly even for the time,” Tarkin told her and smiled a very tight lipped smile to her. “I remember when it came out in fact.” 

Rey nodded to him and watched as Lando breathed in himself. She took a breath preparing herself, her stomach was now feeling lighter, and some of her nerves settling. 

“Why are you two here?” she asked, swallowing when she realized that would sound to these men. 

“They were my tutors growing up, they wanted to meet you.” 

“Yes well, you’re old now, too old for school.” Lando told him and got a frown from Ben. Ben eased down beside her by sitting on the arm of the chair. Rey slipped to the side and patted the vacant space by her. Slowly he slid into the seat by her, taking the space so they shared the same seat. She smiled and prepared herself to try again. 

“So where are you from little lady?” Lando asked as he passed it to her. 

“Arizona. I was in a very small community,” she said. 

“Small communities can be quite the hell,” he said and watched as she breathed in the smoke. Barely able to hold it for a few seconds Ben took it from her and patted her back. “You get used to it, I promise.” he smiled. 

She coughed and glanced to Ben before turning to the others. “What was your grandpa like?” she asked. 

The two looked to Ben before he nodded.

“Very serious man,” Tarkin said simply. He breathed in the smoke, and frowned, breathing out a few seconds later. Already now the small cigarette of pot was now down to a small bud. After passing it, he pulled out more from a shirt pocket a small tin and started rolling another. 

“Almost to the point I’d say he couldn’t ever take a joke,” Lando said. “But he was a… careful man. He very much loved his wife.” 

“What was she like?” Rey asked feeling a smile take her lips. Her stomach mostly empty was now growling for more food, but she ignored it. 

“She was a very nice woman, a nurse for the war, that is how they met.” Ben told her. “She ran from a neutral country to go help in the effort. After he was injured for the first time, they started an affair.” 

She kept smiling at him, he looked a bit distant as he spoke. “I bet it was true love.” she commented, but he frowned. 

“Not exactly Rey. They loved each other, but there were things that kept them apart. After the war ended she... went back home and married a man, and had my uncle Luke. Her husband died violently.” 

“Oh. Then what?” she frowned at him, and moved so that her legs draped over his lap and the other arm of the chair. He put an arm around her back, then one across her lap. She ran her hand through his hair. “I really like your hair.” 

“Yes. Thanks.” He smiled at her. “After that, my grandfather went to her, and they were married. Not long after my mother was born. Once they were settled a bit they moved to the States. That’s when they started getting into a little trouble with someone else.” 

Rey snuggled closer to him. 

“I helped his parents,” Lando gestured to Ben, “to get away from that fight. Luke went into the church. Once the whole,” he looked to Ben again, “thing happened, they all came back, they had to. It was, like a tether pulling them back.” 

“What thing?” she asked snuggling her face into Ben’s shoulder. He tensed as she dropped her hand from his hair to snake under his arm supporting her back. His shoulders felt tense for a moment before relaxing when she didn’t move further. 

“Comfortable there?” Lando asked back. 

“Yes,” she told him. Ben swallowed down and she watched as his adam’s apple moved up and down. She heard Lando chuckle as she buried her head further into the side of his neck. 

“My grandfather was injured very badly by someone,” he said. “He died not long after I was born.” 

Something itched in her mind, but it was a bit complicated to think at the moment. “His wife was killed in the attack.” Ben paused as she grabbed the front of his shirt. “Uncle Lando,” she traced a circle around the hollow of his throat as he swallowed. “Is this,” he swallowed again. “Is she…”

“Ben, I don’t think you have much to worry about,” Lando said. “Hungry Rey?” 

She frowned thinking yes, but wasn’t sure she wanted to get up. “I’m going to get food, this stuff tends to make one hungry.” 

“So long as I don’t have to move.” Rey snuggled closer. Ben swallowed once more as Lando chuckled. 

“You don’t have to. Later, Fuddy.” 

She ignored Lando as he exited. The main room was more quiet without the sound of people and only the distant sound of music. 

“Tarkin, it will have to wait,” said Ben

The older man stood bowing his head to Ben. “I will see you later, should the date be set.” 

Rey watched the older man leave, Lando came back in with a small plate of some of the foods they had set out, handing it to Ben’s free hand. 

“Thank you!” Rey picked herself up just enough so that she could put the plate onto her lap. She grabbed one deviled egg and downed it. Holding up another up to Ben’s face. “Here, you have got to be hungry too!” 

He stared at her hand for a second, before letting her fed him. “Rey, do you…” 

She held up a small hot dog that had dough around it with yellow cheese seeping out from between the meat and dough. “Eat first then talk,” she grinned, feeling the same giddy feeling as when he appeared when Hux was accosting her. Ben ate it slowly, his hand on her side sliding just a little further up, and his thumb still rubbing up and down. 

“Eating is better,” eating the other one. 

Ben grabbed a meatball on a toothpick and held it up to her. She ate it, smiling at him. It felt like a long time when they got the food devoured he ran his hand across the tops of her legs as she snuggled back into his side, yawning.

“I’ll get you to bed. It’s been a long day.” he told her,

She scowled into the side of his neck. “Carry me?” she asked. She felt the warmth flood his face since her forehead was pressed into his lower cheek. 

“Alright.” He hooked his hand under her legs, then supported her back a little better as he stood up picking her up with him. The plate slipped off her lap and clattered onto the floor, but it was empty, surviving the fall as he exited. Everyone was gone, only the music and aftermath was left. Even Maz had gone, leaving her station mostly clean. Ben walked down to her bedroom, and settled her over her bed. Rey tightened herself around him, 

“Rey,” he warned. 

“Stay until I’m asleep?” 

He breathed out and nodded. 

She let him lay her out into the bed and then pull the covers over her. Then he settled onto the side of the bed. 

“Ben?” 

“Yes, Rey?” 

She grabbed his hand, and kissed his palm. “I do really like you, a lot.” 

He smiled down at her, and pulled his hand back, running his hand through her hair. She closed her eyes, and felt like she was falling asleep, but still remained aware to some extent. Her nerves felt sluggish and also tingly, like ants were crawling on her. The world distorted around her, like black mist creeping into the world and room.

“Are you asleep?” he asked gently, she snorted, or tried to. She found she couldn’t move at all despite being aware of the world around her. Her eyes being closed Rey could almost see, or rather feel shadows now crawling over her to get to Ben. “I told you, no,” he told the room. 

_ “Child, she could be dangerous still.”  _ It was that voice from before, when she heard Finn and someone else talking came into the room. Rey wasn’t sure if it came from Ben, or from just the room itself.  _ “I’ve allowed it thus far, but here she is. Weak, and compliant. She will not suffer if you do it now.” _ Her heartbeat rose a few notches in fear. 

“No. I also told you not to go near her.” He touched her shoulder, pulling the covers over her further and tucking them around her. 

_ “You know nothing of this war. Nothing of battle. She could kill you. Yet you hesitate? You are weak!”  _

“Weak like killing the only person who loved you?” 

A chilling silence filled the entire room. 

_ “They turned her, as they will do to the girl if they had her. If we take her, then she remains here, forever. You will have her, forever.”  _

“We both agreed that so long as she remains here, then she will be allowed freedom. I will not have you threaten to hurt her again.” 

The cold chill seemed to snap down a few degrees.  _ “There is nothing you can do, child, that can threaten me, the bunny can be deadly.” _ the voice said. 

“It’s not what I would do, but what she would do.” There seemed to be a sharp intake of breath. “If you are so scared of her and what she can do, then you shouldn’t try to take her down. Leave her alone, and there is no fear.” 

_ “If you would try to take her,”  _ but the voice was weaker, and unsure. 

Ben reached out and took her hand in his. She felt something like a pin prick, but then that faded, as if it never happened. She didn’t even itch.

“There, it didn’t work. Now shut up, and help me find Hux. He is probably trying to run. He must be punished for daring to scare her.” 

_ “Very well. that much we agree on.” _

Ben stood and she fell into dark and dreamless sleep before he could walk out of the room. 


	12. Chapter 12

When Rey woke, she felt like she hadn’t slept well at all, and stretched in her bed, smelling the scent of lingering skunky-sweet smoke and whatever soap Ben used. Part of her ached at waking up alone, but her mind was more assaulted to some recent memories. More hazy, Rey rubbed her face, wandering to the bathroom, and starting the bathwater. Now on a small shelf by the tub were all the new products Ben had gotten her, and she splashed her face with the water waking herself up. 

“Mmmmm,” she mumbled and binked over the hazy memories of the party. She recalled Hux and Ben. She remembered Rose coming in, but most everything else was more of a blur. She knew she met two older men, and that she might be seeing more of them later. She dropped by the shelf and grabbed a small blue pitcher with a bowl. The label said it was a bubble bath, and she unstoppered it to pour into the rising tub water. It smelled flowery and good, and she grinned as it started to foam up with bubbles. 

A knock on her door brought her out of the steaming the room to open her front door and blink as she was met with a blue pressed shirt with buttons and police emblazoned on a patch on one sleeve. She looked up to a young man with black hair and a cap. 

He sniffed and frowned down at her. “Hello young… ma’am,” he stated slowly. “May I come in?” 

She looked at him from toe to cap and nodded, leaving the door open as she backed away slowly. “I need to go turn off the water okay?” she asked. 

He nodded and she walked into the bathroom, the short trip to shut off the water made her mind race. Drugs were bad, the movie had told her pot was bad, the police said were they were bad, her heart was racing when she shut off the water, and walked back out. The young man was shifting, and looking around the aftermath of the party. The more perishable food was put away while the rest was settled onto her counters. He tensed as she walked back in, and then stood straighter, pulling off his cap and looking down at her. 

“Ma’am, would you know a man named Armitage Hux?” he asked her, voice faltering. 

Rey blinked. “Yes? Is something wrong?” She didn’t dare go nearer to him then a few yards, he seemed skittish and scared. With a gun on his hip and a radio on the other along with a few magazines and other things; she did not trust the scared looking young man to not do something more drastic if she pressed further towards him. 

“Is he here?” 

“No, he left. We had a party,” she explained and he nodded. 

“Hux has been reported missing under very suspicious circumstances.” The young man pulled out a small notepad, and she could read the name on his chest.  _ Mitaka _ it said. “His girlfriend said that someone came into their shared domicile and took him. She was scared and could not do anything about it. She called us as soon as she was sure it was safe.” 

“Oh! Is he…” 

Officer Mitaka shook his head. She swallowed down, anxiety now making its way into her system. “I am gathering information on where he could be, did he say anything? Was he scared?” 

A flash of memory made its way into her head. She recalled only Ben saying he was going to go look for Hux. 

“Ben! He might know!” she brightened, and the young man looked at her. “Do you want to talk to him? I know which room is his!” She moved away from the man and towards the door. “I’m sure he will help!” 

He followed her slowly, speaking quietly into the radio on his hip before he walked up the stairs with her. 

“Ma’am, I would like you to—” he began but she knocked on his door as he tried to put himself between her and the door. He pushed her back to the wall of the hall and settled his hand onto his weapon as footsteps came from the apartment. “Stay behind me!” 

Rey scoffed as Ben paused in front of the door. He opened it, and Mitaka moved backwards to the stairs as Ben exited and shut the door behind him. He looked to her and then to the officer. 

“They are looking for Hux, I…” she said as he seemed to have some trouble starting to talk almost feeling strangled. He looked from her to the officer in shock. “I remember you were talking about him last night right?” Ben frowned. “Did you leave to go find him?” 

“Rey. Officer Mitaka?” Ben turned to the young man as Ben put himself between her and the officer. “I believe you do not have a warrant. I suggest you get one before you proceed further.” 

“S-sir, there is no-no harm in as-asking questions, he stuttered back. 

“Yes, the—” Ben began, Rey sighed cutting him off. 

“Hux was upset over something, I remember him asking some strange things and I think he was drunk.” Rey told the officer the strangled feeling gone. Ben looked at her and shook his head.

“Drunk?” Mitaka looked to Ben and then her. 

“High on LSD more like,” Ben said more to her, than the officer. Rey felt like that statement was wrong, she could almost taste the lie. Ben grimaced at her as she reached out to touch his arm. She felt something, almost like some kind of knowledge inside of her telling her to do something, starting in her stomach and reaching out into her mind. She knew, knew without a doubt she needed to get him out of the apartment building. 

“Do you know where he could be?” She asked him and looked to the officer. 

“I might have a few ideas, officer, I will send the information to your office.”

Dopheld swallowed, edging down the stairs and then running out the front door. 

“That was—” Ben began turning to her.

“We need to go looking for him!” She cut off and blinked at him as he went silent. 

“What?” 

He shook his head grimacing. “Bunny, you shouldn't let people into your place at 

all…” He put his hand to his face, growling in frustration. 

“Ben. he was looking for Hux! He's your friend isn’t he?” 

He straightened staring down at her. “You like Hux?” 

“Not really, but he's your friend. Let me go get ready and then we can go around town and look for him! You should know all the places he likes!” She patted his arm, and raced down the stairs as he stared after her. She got herself clean in record time, as worry etched into her stomach. 

It wasn't as though Hux was a truly good person, but she felt as though something was wrong, and she needed to get Ben out and looking for him. Now more than ever. After pulling on a loose jumpsuit, Rey bounded back up the stairs, knocking on Ben's door. She heard something muffled, then heavy steps before that feeling came back in full force. “Ben?” She called to the door. The steps stopped, then seemed to turn to her. 

Ben opened the door and closed it behind him. “I’m here,” he flinched tucking his button down shirt into his pants before he stared down at her. “Do you really want Hux back?” 

Rey took his hand squeezing it. “Ben I've seen worse people. Come on, please? You're his friend! You should be getting out here with me!” 

He sighed and nodded. “Let me get my shoes okay?” 

She grinned. “Thank you, Ben!” 

He disappeared into his apartment for just a short moment then came back out holding his shoes. “Hux and I are...not exactly friends you know.” He mumbled to her and settled onto the edge of the stairs to put his shoes on.

“Aren't we friends? I would want you to look for me if I go missing!” 

He stopped just slipping his shoes on and stared at her. She stood nervously, looking from him down the stairs and towards the exit. 

“Okay, Rey, just stay calm.” 

She sat down by him on the stairs. “Ben, I just feel like I need to get you out looking. It’s that feeling… that sort of feeling that told me to help Finn out at that moment. I was able to help him, and it was that feeling too that told me when I could pack and leave. That Finn was coming back for me.” He nodded to her tying his shoes. “I don’t know what it means all the time, but I know if I trust it, things happen, good or bad. They happen.” 

It was true, this sort of coiling within her told her what to do It didn’t happen all the time, but sometimes it would hit her like a truck. When Finn asked her to try to help him escape, she knew exactly when to go and exactly what hall to take. The memory of the other woman being hurt still stung deeply into her, but now, Shev was gone. He was most definitely in hell, and for her that was worth everything.

“You can trust me, bunny.” Rey looked away from him at that statement and he straightened. 

“I can, but not with this.” She told him. That knowing part of her told her that much. Standing up and heading down the stairs before he could stand up or move. “Are you going to tell me why?” 

He sat frozen there for a moment looking like he was fighting with something in his head. “I can’t. Not now,” he said, just above a whisper. 

She reached out her hand to him, waiting. 

He stared at it for a moment then stood, walking slowly to her. “Rey, do you know — ” he grimaced again, but didn’t take her hand. 

She dropped it, and stared down at the ground. “I don’t think Hux deserves this,” she said to the floor. 

Ben inhaled deeply and sighed, moving away from her and toward the front door. “What if he does?” he called to her. 

She moved up next to him touching his arm and making him look to her. “Ben, please, tell me what is going on.” 

He pulled away and walked out the door with her following him. She spent a long moment just following him as he seemed to pace trying to calm himself down. Rey shivered, and stepped up next to him, as he blinked to her, and swallowed. 

“I don’t think it’s safe to be around… you should get home.” 

She smiled and wrapped her hand around his. “I don’t want to be home alone. You shouldn’t be alone either.” 

Ben relaxed a little, shoulders slumping down and now no longer taking a pacing gait. He stopped, letting her pull his arm around her shoulders, and she put her arm around his waist hand on his hip.

“Hux is very lucky to have you.” he said darkly. 

She laughed at the notion, as he just stared down at her again almost baffled. “He doesn’t have me, you do.” 

Finally a smile pulled at his lips, and he relaxed further, walking down the street with her. Finally that coiling in her stomach that drove her to head to Ben’s the moment she heard Hux was missing was gone. “So… did I meet two people last night? I don’t really remember.” 

Ben nodded. “They were my tutors growing up. Tarkin and Lando. There will be a… test for you to take.” 

She grinned at him. “I hope it’s not math, I’m terrible at that!” 

He chuckled shaking his head. “No, just some things. Lando, knows a lot about Vietnam. He served with my Dad there. Tarkin knew my grandfather.” 

“Was your grandfather a good person?” 

Ben froze. “Of a kind.” His voice sounded distant. 

She stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, he glanced down at her as she smiled up to him. “Thank you for helping me, and thank you for coming out with me.” 

He grinned down at her, then looked back up. “We need to find you more hobbies, keep you busy,” he said and looked around the street. They were now heading past the bus stop. 

“Something with my hands? I do like working with my hands.” She grinned and chuckled at the sudden memory of one of the happier moments in her life with the people. Buried by layers of bad, it felt like a sudden jab in her head. “I remember once three of the men in that place they were trying to make a table, they completely screwed up.” He was looking down at her. “I was maybe ten at the time, so I snuck in and fixed it, it didn’t take that long…” She chuckled again at the memory of them finding out the table had been fixed overnight.

The legs on it weren’t level, they didn’t tighten the screws for it properly, it was like someone was drunk trying to make a table. The memory of finishing it, just as the sun rose and then running off was happy when she came back and they were shocked. It was only lightly tinged with the knowledge if she came forward that they would have beat her, but otherwise they hailed it as a miracle from heaven, ridiculous. That table then stood in the church until it burned down. She knew, just as she knew what to do when she heard of Hux being missing what to do.

“All of them treated it like Jesus himself snuck in and fixed it for them!” she laughed, Ben snorted, covering his mouth with his free hand. “It was so funny that they thought that, as if he would bother!”

Ben had to stop again as he laughed, leaning on her as he did so. “Yes,” he gasped in and pulled her closer to him. “Why would he?” 

She thought for a moment he was going to kiss the top of her head, or her forehead but he started walking again, dropping his arm and letting her twine hers around his, holding his hand. “Thank you Rey, I enjoy this much, much more than staying back there.” 

She smiled and pulled his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. “I’m happy that

you came out with me. Do you think Hux is the type to go to a wood store?” 

Ben chuckled. “Probably not, but we can swing by and see if there is anything

he might like.” 

She nodded to him as he guided her out to another stop. Mirth seemed to replace

whatever he had been feeling before, and she settled down by him on the bench. 

“Maybe go to the diner for lunch? He seemed to like the place.” Ben nodded, and she squeezed his hand. “Maybe movies? Everyone likes movies right? Then another diner he may like?” 

Ben slumped a little into the bench sighing. “Yes, we can do all of that.” 

She relaxed into his side. 

“Do you really not know?” he asked softly. 

“Know what?” 

He pulled her closer to him. “Just how amazing you are.” Rey flushed and hid her face into his shirt. Ben ran a hand down her back, just as the bus started towards them. 

“Look, bus! Let’s  _ go _ !” Rey stood and pulled him up as it rolled to a stop. But he was smiling relaxed and no longer irritated. He was away from the apartment and whatever it was that was there. That told her she needed to keep him away from there. But now, she felt that they could go back at anytime and things would be fine, or as fine as they could be at least. For her that was all that was needed. It was a bonus she got to spend the entire day with Ben, as she pulled him into the bus hoping he didn’t notice that she was blushing furiously. 

He sat down by her on the bus after paying the fare. He raised his hand and cupped her cheek, thumb brushing across her lips. She smiled at him but he dropped his hand putting his arm around her and pulling her closer to him. “When we get to the wood store, what would you like to look for?” he asked her halting a few times. 

“Carving? I’ve never tried wood carving!” He smiled with his eyes closed. “I’d like to try making something, kind of like you do.” 

“Art? Maybe I should see if you’d like working with clay too.” He breathed out happily, as she leaned into him. “Finally,” he mumbled lightly. She frowned but took his hand holding it to her chest. “Silent,” he mouthed. 

“I am very happy that you are with me. You can tell me things, Ben.” 

He frowned, and opened his eyes to look at her. 

“I’m here for you,” she continued

“I know. It’s not you, it’s not me. With you here it is a lot easier to deal with. For that, I’m happy to do anything your heart desires.” 

Rey blushed and bit her lip, as he chuckled. 

“I can get demanding! You never know!” 

He laughed, and pulled her to him very lightly kissing the top of her head. “All the better.” he whispered to her. 

She smiled into his shoulder, the bus shuddered a bit into a stop but he didn’t pull her up with him. 

“Demand away with what you want Rey, I’ll fulfil every wish.” 

“Right now I just want you, and to spend time with you,” she sighed. 

He took a sharp breath in, and leaned into her, fully relaxing, and kissing the top of her head again. 

Hux could be forgotten right now, for now he was safe, and the longer she spent with Ben the safer he would be. Both Ben and Hux, that part she realized as he stood, pulling her out to that large store complex from before. Just on the other side of the street from it was a very obvious store that catered to construction, and other things in that manner.

“Let’s see,” Ben pulled her into the truly cavernous store, full of thousands of things, pipes, lighting, wood, lawn ornaments, and much much more. “This way is for hobbies.” 

She smiled as he pulled her further into the store. The rest of the day she paid little attention to, holding a small bag of carving knives, and some different wood blocks for said carving. Ben leaned against her door frame grinning at her as he led her into her apartment and said goodnight. He kissed the back of her hand with a soft smile before he left. 

The entire day spent with not ever even looking for Hux in the slightest bit. She knew where he was, and knew that he’d be safe the longer she spent with Ben. Almost like a lightning rod, taking electricity to the ground, instead of hitting a building and setting it alight. She learned a bit more slang, and spent a long period of time looking at yarn in a small store that held all sorts of crafting items like crochet knitting needles,large wooden beads macrame, books, and various other things for anyone who would be bored and hand their hands free. 

Now alone in her apartment Rey settled her feet into the hot water of her tub, the bubbles of her new mix foaming up around her ankles. Ben’s music played distantly in the background and for a little bit she itched to go up to his place, but then it eased down. She barely heard a few footsteps, only because she was listening for them and sighed in relief when she noted the two different gaits. Looking down into the bubbles of the water she did something that she hadn’t done since she was little. The vague memory of a dark voice coming into her, all the strange ‘you don’t know’ as well lingering in her memories as the prompt to go back to the worst days of her life. 

Opening up that small, or maybe large, part of herself that she kept tightly closed to the point where she only got those feelings, she shook. Billions of loud voices blasted into her mind. Not all of them were as one, but all shrank back, almost shocked she was there again and quieted. It was like taking every voice of every person of the world murmuring indistinctly and then silencing them. They waited, breathless, as she prepared herself feeling a trickle down from her nose to her lips, licking them brought the metallic taste of blood. 

“Did I do the right thing?” she asked lowly. The murmuring raced back, and she winced, as it got louder and louder and louder. Millions of no’s, millions of yes’s, and millions of maybe’s. Until a clear sort of bell rang blinding out her senses and silenced them all. 

**“Little one, only you can decide.”** The voice wasn’t truly a voice, it was as though notes of sound were given a near voice, barely human in quality.  **“I can only guide, the choice is always yours.” **

Then silence rushed in, and that small door shut. She shivered sinking into the water, wiping away the blood seeping from her nose with a frown. A migraine formed in the aftermath, which didn’t end at all even when she stumbled down an aura of rainbow flashing light behind her eyes, made only worse with stomach churning nausea. Shivering in the lancing pain, she laid down to sleep. Sleep held no dreams, only darkness and the vague sense of pain from the migraine. 


	13. Chapter 13

Rey woke with a sense of the right decision having been made as the wavering finally eased and she knew Hux was safe. Pushing the covers down and slipping out of her bed, there was still a twinge of ache in her head. She made the bed and went into the kitchen in the her nearly sheer nightgown, smiling down at a decorative metal breadbox. Getting the slices toasted was just sliding them into a device made just for that purpose.

She got out eggs, this time not from the party waiting to be cooked. Making breakfast wasn’t as stressful as she thought it might be, it always seemed like controlled chaos back where she came from. Something was always burned, and something was always undercooked. Butter went into the hot pan as she mixed up a few eggs, scrambling them and cooking them with just a bit of it sticking to the pan as she slid some of them out onto a plate. 

She was eating when there was a light knock and Ben opened the door, stopping just at the entrance blinking at her. 

“It’s okay come in!” 

He very slowly walked to her stopping at the counter eyes tracking up and down. 

“I’ve got enough for you.” Rey slid the rest of the eggs onto a plate with more toast and some sliced apple. 

“Hux… called me this morning. He has… quite the story.” Ben pulled a stool over to him as she grinned to him. Burying a feeling that was now welling up inside, a lie she thought, but it didn’t matter. 

“He’s safe then?” Ben nodded and she let out a breath of relief. “I had a feeling he was when I woke up.” 

He swallowed still staring at her. 

“One of those sales ladies helped me pick this out,” she explained, brushing at a few crumbs off the long nightgown. “I like it, too.” 

“It’s beautiful.” Ben told her and blinked down at the food before he ate slowly. 

“Are you still painting?” she asked. 

“I actually finally have something in mind. But…” he dropped off, frowning. “I have no idea how to ask.” 

Rey reached out and took his hand in hers. “Well, think about it, I love watching you paint. I’m going to get ready for the day, you should eat.” 

“Yes, I should,” he hesitated before she left to her room. 

She chose another longer dress to wear, this one was brown and gold with golden knotted designs all over it in that warm brown background. On the edges was a thicker trim of the gold with an antique sort of ornate edging. From the hollow of her throat to just about the end of her ribcage were frog closures from the cut there that would allow her to loosen the neck and chest. With that and some sandals she exited as Ben was just cleaning up his plate and hers. 

“Have you decided what to ask yet?” she asked him. He turned to her and smiled as she snuggled into his side. 

“Not yet,” he replied setting the plates down and staring into space. “Do you want to see Hux?” 

“Do you?” 

Ben blinked and nodded.

“Then let’s meet him!” 

Ben grimaced but she pulled up his arm, ducking under it and putting her arm around his waist and settling his around hers. 

“He might not want to ever see me,” he said quietly. 

“Then we can spend the entire day together.” 

He pulled her more flush to his body, leaning a little down and breathing in the scent of her hair. “That sounds wonderful to me, Rey.” She looked down to the sink and then back to him. “I put everything away and cleaned up while you were sleeping.” 

She kissed his chin, standing on her toes to do so. “Thank you. Come on, I’m sure that Hux would love to spend time with you.” She guided him towards the phone but he shook his head, pulling her out of the apartment and into the early morning. It was a little chilly from the night as she settled happily against his side. Heading to the diner from before, now it was bustling with early morning breakfast seekers. Ben headed over to the same back booth and paused just before Hux and Amilyn could see them. 

Hux looked rough, with a cut on his forehead and several bruises, dried blood rimmed his nostrils and he held himself painfully, one arm holding the other. Amilyn dropped a rag into a shallow bowl and wiped at his face as he grimaced in pain. He breathed out and then snapped his eyes up staring at Ben and Rey. His eyes went wide and Amilyn looked back quickly standing in front of him protectively. Rey slid from Ben as he stayed where he stood, as if unable to move. 

“Hux? Are you okay?” she asked and stared at Amilyn. 

“Don’t you go near him!” she told Rey holding out a hand. A small mole was on her right wrist which left Rey with something of an unsettled feeling. 

“She is fine,” Hux snapped, voice pained and edged a little roughly. Amilyn turned to him as he glared to Ben, Ben was looking away from the three with a grimace. “He wants you here? What to teach,” She smiled to him as Amilyn moved away from him letting Rey get closer and making Hux drop his voice. 

“He wanted to make sure you were safe. Are you okay?” Hux looked to Ben, then back to her several times. 

“Yes,” he said simply. She looked back to Ben, but he was still staring down at the small counter not at them. 

“ _ What are you? _ ” Hux demanded. 

Rey took the rag from Amilyn’s limp hand, and with Hux’s very wide eyes dipped it into the water and dabbed at the cut on his forehead. 

“I’m just a person, Hux. So is he.” Hux drew a breath in, eyes flinching as she examined the cut. “I’m sorry if this was my fault. I’ve been gone too long, haven’t I?” He didn’t move as she dipped the rag into the bowl, already colored pink and slightly foamy with blood. 

“Do you know what he is?” Hux asked her. She blinked at him and he darted his eyes up leaning back away as Ben slowly approached. Whatever happened, Rey did want to ask Ben about Hux, but knew that Hux too, would not speak on it.

“It will be okay,” Rey soothed, but Hux’s lips pressed into a fine line. Rey straightened, dropping the rag into the bowl and half turning to Ben expectantly. He looked like he was fighting with himself for a moment. “Ben?” she questioned. 

Amilyn looked to Ben then Hux, eyes then settling on Rey. 

“I’m sorry,” he said lightly, and turned and left the diner quickly. They both stared after him. Rey put a hand on Hux’s shoulder and frowned. 

“If you want that,” she gestured to Amilyn. “I will not stop it,” she told him and followed after Ben. He was settled onto a bench outside a hand covering his face the other fisted. She sat down by him taking his hand in hers, he relaxed fingers unclenching. She wove her fingers with his and he dropped his other hand smiling. 

“I think I have an idea of what to paint.” Raising his free hand and brushing his fingertips along her jaw line. She smiled, wondering if she should ask him what was going on now. “Would you pose naked for me?” he asked her. Rey blinked, her face feeling hot as he smiled to her. 

“Naked?” she stuttered out, and he nodded. “I need to think on it.”

“Today, well tonight,” he replied, gripping her chin lightly and turning her face towards his. “Maybe… just topless?” 

“Won’t that be awkward?” she blurted out and he chuckled pulling her further towards her and leaned to her ear. 

“Just say no if you don’t want to,” he whispered to her. “Say it.” 

Rey felt a shiver go up her back as he turned his head and lightly kissed her cheek. 

“No! I-I can do it!” He sighed, warm breath tickling her neck and making her snort. “That tickles!” She pushed him back he grinned as he drew back away.

“You can say it, Rey.” 

She placed a finger across his lips. “No tickling.”

He smiled at her as she dropped her hand. “I can say no. I just don’t see a reason to much of the time.” 

Ben stood pulling her up with him and walked away from the dinner. “Are you happy Hux is safe? Truly happy?” he asked her after a long moment of silence. 

“Aren’t you?” 

“Yes, yes I am,” he sighed. She slowly slid her hand around his waist and he draped his arm around her, hand resting on her upper thigh. “He is my friend.”

“Then yes, I am happy too. Maybe next time I will just slap him…” Ben glanced at her and chuckled. 

“Why didn’t you, Rey?” he asked. 

She grimaced at the sudden memory and the thought of violence. “I don’t like violence, but well, the last time I slapped someone…” she dropped off and stopped, he stalled a moment later turning to her and putting his hands on her shoulders. “One of the men caught us girls braiding our hair, we had to wear caps covering it all and he was going to shave all our heads. Like anyone would see the braids.” 

“That is stupid.” 

“I was twelve I think, and I jumped up and slapped his face. There was nothing wrong with what we were doing. But that didn’t stop them. He went blind, no one knew why. But they never tried that again after that. I don't like doing violence, but it seemed really right at the moment.” 

Ben smiled. “I am sure it was.” He pulled her into a hug before drawing back to guiding her into one of those electric buses. “Would you like some coffee? There is a place nearby that sells it.” 

“Sure! I've never really tried the stuff.” He stood with her on the packed bus. “What are these things called exactly?” She asked him. She got some looks, but they quickly averted their gaze. 

“Cable cars, they are really good in this area since over this way is very hilly.” Rey watched as said bus stopped and he pulled her into another. It didn't take long to get into high rolling hills with houses and stores raised all along the sides of the streets like stacked blocks. 

“What is this place you're taking me like?” 

He smiled as the cable car started down a hill. “It’s Irish coffee, almost a whole Irish pub really. This place is good and I'm sure you're hungry by now.” 

She giggled, her stomach only now deciding after days of daily food multiple times a day it really was. 

“Yes I could eat!” she replied easily. The cable car stopped where a small pub did exist, a sign on the front of the white artsy building proclaiming in neon light  _ The Buena Vista Cafe _ , near the edge of her vision she could finally see the sea. Her heart sped up a bit at the sight. 

“We can go to the beach after this if you like.” Ben pulled her closer so that he could kiss the top of her head. 

“Yes! I would love that!” He smiled into the side of her head as he guided her into the little pub smelling like coffee and various dishes. She still didn't particularly like coffee but their lunch menu was wonderful and left her feeling so full she was tired. 

Just a short walk out to the water front the smell of fish and sea was thick in the air. Ben frowned as she pulled him into the beach were people populated the entire area, going from the surf to the sand just like the waves that beat against the beach.

“This is beautiful!” She stalled just on the edge where the surf stopped, kicking off her shoes and peeling her socks off to allow the water to wash over her feet. He watched her further back. 

“Yes, it is,” he replied and she walked up to him tossing her shoes out to the side as she grabbed his hands pulling him towards the sea. “I don’t come out often, Rey,” he told her as she successfully got him ankle deep.

“How can you not? This is wonderful!” She picked up a small smooth rock and tossed it back out. He shrugged, wincing a bit as the sun shone through clouds. 

“I used to, during high school, me and Hux would come out here all the time with our dates.” 

“So is that what he means by you liking me? That this is a date?” 

He froze, still cheeks turning just the slightest tinge of pink. “Here I thought Hux being back was fine,” he mumbled lightly and she chuckled at him twining her arm with his again and pulling him to walk along the beach. 

“Help me find a shell? I want to remember this day forever.” his hand tightened on hers, and he breathed out harshly. “Ben? Are you okay?” 

“Yes,” he said quickly, letting her hand go to pull her closer to him. “I’m fine, How can you ever truly,” he frowned but lowered his head down and kissed her head again. “Do you even know what you are, Rey?” he asked quietly. 

“I’m just Rey.” He sighed leaning against her. “Why? Am I supposed to be someone else?” 

Ben chuckled and pulled back a little eyes scanning the beach. 

“There is a story I was told when I was young, by my mother,” he paused to run his hand down her back. “A long long time ago, two people were born, one eight years apart from the first. They were enemies.” He paused. “They were opposites so they fought and died. Sometimes hundreds of years would pass and they would never meet. But after world travel became so much easier they began to seek each other out. To kill each other.” 

She nodded, listening. 

“Not that long before my grandfather was born, one of these people, they were a young woman who just wanted to live her life. But this fight consumed her and her child was one of these people.” He grimaced. “My grandfather grew up, and he grew up training for the fight. When the war came he joined. But the other found him, they were allies.” 

“Allies? Which war?” 

Ben stopped a moment looking out to the ocean. “World War Two, my grandfather and the other were fighting on the same side, both had been drafted. It was near the end when they met, and both fought, my grandfather was injured, and that is how he met my grandmother.” He smiled briefly. “They really did fall in love, they really did love each other. But my grandfather knew that if they were together, she would be hurt.” 

“He let her go? To get married to someone else?” 

Ben nodded. “That had to have hurt.” Ben sighed. 

“Yes, it was my grandfather who finally realized the full potential of what he could do, what they all could do. He started to do this, and it drew the other again.” 

“Did they fight?” 

“No, not that time. The othertold him to stop or he would stop him, but my grandfather injured him and he had to run. He realized how far his reach was, and built what I have today. He found and married my grandmother.” He said quickly. “They had my mother from there, and had some trouble moving to the States. However, they were able to get here to live their lives.” 

“What about your mom? Luke?” 

“To help keep them safe he had them sent away, had my grandmother sent away, but the other found her. Convinced her that she was married to something evil, something so horrible that he needed to die. The other came back as my grandfather went to her.” He pressed his lips into a fine line. “She begged him to stop, and he wouldn’t. She was hurt, and died when my grandfather was severely wounded.” 

“Did the other die?” she asked. Ben nodded. “Your mother told you this?” 

“It was a lot more colorful, but my grandfather found something he could do and it took something horrible. They found in order to do it so that something could happen.” She nodded to him again. “He passed this down into me when I was a child. Then, what was eight years later, the other should be born.” 

“So, what happened to your grandfather?” she asked. “Is he still alive?” 

“In a manner of speaking,” he replied clipped and short. “But what matters is that the other is free, is here.” He gestured around them. “So why, why now of all the centuries of time is there no fight? No animosity?” 

Rey swallowed, something like fear coiling inside of her. “These two are always fighting?” she asked. He nodded. “Like what?” 

“Always, I was never told of anything else. But it is always violence around these two.” 

Rey shivered. “Ben, I don’t know…” she replied unsure of herself.

He tightened his arm around her. “You get the idea? These two… are almost always in the world. I know what this is… and the other? What does the other do? If what… this power is here… then what does the other do? What power do they have?” he looked down at her. “What are they compared to this?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“No, you do, don’t you, Bunny?” he asked darkly. She shivered by him as he paused, eyes narrowing down at her. 

“I… when… when I was little I heard voices.” 

Ben blinked and loosened his hold. 

“It happened when I was eight, Sheev…” she shook her head. “I had seizures. Sheev told me they were seizures. Sometimes I would black out for days. But I never acted on what they told me. They wanted me away from that place. They would show me horrible things.” 

He moved away from her as she put a hand to her face. “I knew I could run… at any moment I could run away from that place ,Ben. But I didn’t… I had to be there. For a reason, I had to be.” 

“You could have stopped him.” he told her and she grimaced. 

“No… It couldn’t… Sheev he… tried to drown me? For this. Can we please stop talking about this?” 

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Yes, we can talk later.” 

She stepped up to him and took a hand of his in hers, he froze a moment and relaxed when she brought it up to her cheek. 

“I am sorry. I must have scared you.” 

“No, not really. I’m just confused.” She let go of his hands but his hand stayed on her cheek. 

“I am sorry for scaring you.” She stepped up to him and hugged him to her. 

“I told you I can sense lies.” 

She chuckled. “I don’t think it was you that scared me.” He straightened, and then wrapped his arms around her hugging her back. 

“Are you okay?” she asked. Ben pulled back but kept his arm around he as he guided her back to her shoes. 

“What do you want to talk about?” he ventured. She looked to him and then back out to the sea. 

“When did you start painting?” she asked. 

Ben blinked and a small smile took his face. “It was because of the high school I chose. It was a private school, and they required some interest in the arts. So in middle school I met up with the art teacher and just started. It’s actually how I met Hux. He was going to go to the same school, but he chose music.” She smiled to him as he spoke. “My first painting? It was pretty bad, but Ms. Erso never gave up on me and that alone helped me so much.” He paused, his expression blank. 

“Did you get into the school?” she asked. 

“Yes, I did. The teacher there wasn’t like her.” 

They stopped at her sandals and Rey broke away from him to slip them on. Her socks were covered with sand as she grabbed them shaking them out. “He was fairly demanding and emphasized perfection. The whole school was like that. I hated it, the only good part was how me and Hux would come out here with our dates.” He looked to her and then away with a frown. “When that whole deal was done I never got much of a chance to paint during law school.” 

“You went to college?” she asked him. He nodded as Rey snuggled closer to him, he dropped his hand from her shoulder down back to her side. 

“Law school, I still have to do tests with the Bar to practice. I… put it off.” She put her arm around his waist, as his thumb brushed along her side absentmindedly. “I haven’t been doing much after law school, I never wanted to be a lawyer.” 

“What do you want to be?” 

“I want to be a famous painter. I want people to showcase my work in museums, but every artist is like that. There are millions of them, not everyone can make it.” 

“You could.” He looked down at her eyes wide. “Can’t you?” 

He froze still just as they got to the sidewalk from the beach. “It wouldn’t be by my own merit. My ability that would get me there… if I did that. I will not  _ ever _ —” he dropped off pulling away from her. “Ever do that. That’s sickening and,” She was grinning to him as he spoke. “Wrong.” 

“What did you want to paint now? Besides naked?” She took his hand and held it in hers as she pulled him towards a bus stop. 

“A variation of ‘Sleeping Venus’, it would just be you, naked, sleeping...” His eyes quickly traced down her form and then back up. 

“Just make sure the room is warm. I don’t like being cold.” 

He grinned, pulling her to him to kiss the top of her head. “I can ensure it will be warm. But thank you for your help with Hux. If you hadn’t come by, I don’t know what would have happened.” Rey felt a shiver go up her back, and wasn’t exactly sure what it meant herself. 

“I’m just happy to have met you, Ben.” There was a long moment of silence as more people piled towards the stop, settling down on and near the bench waiting for the bus. She moved so that she was flush against his body mostly to keep away from the people

“I am happy you are mine,” he replied. 

There was that strange flop of her gut and she swallowed, thankfully the bus came by allowing her not to react to the feeling much as he led her into the bus and back to the apartment. She was far to focused on trying to piece together what she was feeling as she glanced to her apartment door as he led her upstairs and to his door. 

“Are you sure about this, Rey?” he asked. 

“Yes! Of course!” 

He grinned, opening his door and she gaped at what she saw. It wasn’t well lit, or well furnished like hers, but his apartment was no longer in the sort of deep darkness that had consumed the entire place before. Without the blackout curtains drawn the apartment was in a quasi state of twilight. With the barest bones of ‘life’ as one would put it, and not the open plan of her apartment, it was empty in an aching way. Just a single sofa, a small kitchen and dining area without table or chairs. 

She frowned over some old scuff marks on the wooden floors, it looked like a lot of things had been moved out without much care to the flooring. There was a sort of blank area that was cleaner than the rest of the wood, almost outright looking like it had been sanded down. He led her to the side room of his apartment, where several of the paintings stood along the hallway, leaving the room more open and less cluttered, several more art supplies settled in some boxes, along the way waiting to be used. 

The side room now was cheerier The entire room nearly cleared of clutter, but also with the curtains along the far wall removed completely along with the paint speckled sofa, leaving a low slung couch that had only one arm along a side leaving the other open. A thick grey blanket sat on the end, leaving the areas of walls covered by the far newer coverings which held only speckles of red-brown paint to brighten the area a lot more. The sofa the same dull grey of the blanket held no such speckles and as she settled down on the edge, nervous tension filling her stomach. 

“Wait here, I’ll go grab a space heater.” He left her alone in the room. 

With an easel set up in a corner it was ready to go, the various shelves were cleared off many things, say for the needed art supplies. All the cameras were probably in another room, or elsewhere. The room wasn’t as cold as she expected but as she heard him coming back in she couldn’t help but feel down her back. It was like something was watching her, and even after a look through the window, which only faced the other apartment next door and completely blank brick wall with no windows, she still didn’t feel settled. 

Ben came back and the feeling ended as he settled the space heater in the room and turned it on. It would take awhile for it to start, as he stared at her slowly walking to her. Rey breathed out shivering, as he put his hands on her waist, fingers sliding down to the hem of her dress. 

“Shush,” he softly whispered to her. 

She stood, feeling nerves in her stomach tingle into her limbs and making them unable to move. “Help?” she asked him staring at his throat. 

He pulled her to standing and she leaned into him as he drew the hem up past her waist. She smiled as she slipped her arms out of the holes and he dropped the dress to the side. He grinned to her as his eyes roamed down her body. 

“I’ll go get the canvas. Get comfy, if you want, I’ll help you when I get back.” 

She settled back down on the edge of the sofa, nodding numbly. Once he left she let out a breath and removed the bra, but kept the underwear. She got the shoes off in the next moment and shivered. That feeling of being watched returned but she ignored it, Ben came back in, and just stared at her. 

“Ah, well topless then?” he questioned, and put the canvas on an easel. She watched as he kept looking to her. “May I?” he asked and walked to her. 

“Yes, of course!” 

Ben took her hands and slowly settled her into a lounging position, grabbing the blanket and draping it over her waist, and then leading it over so that it looked like she had been sleeping naked. His hands briefly stalled on her bare sides; they were cold making her shiver. It felt wonderful and she hated when he finally took a step away from her. 

“I’ll get to the sketch, the water color should go fast.” She nodded as he left her in that position to his stool. 

“Did I tell you how much I like watching you paint?” she questioned. 

He smiled and took out several pencils before staring at her then to canvas. It felt like a long time when he stopped and looked back to her and didn’t look away. “Do you want to see it before I start?” 

She grinned and bolted up, tossing off the blanket before bounding to him. His eyes tracked down her again and then back up. Throat swallowing down and then smiling. She looked down at herself in a pencil sketch, absently brushed her hand through his hair.

“Why aren’t you wearing it back like when we met?” she asked him. 

He blinked to her, putting a hand on the small of her back. “I ….” 

She leaned down and kissed him on the lips. His hand froze on her back so she took the opportunity to lower herself onto his lap and kiss him again. He kissed her back, dropping everything to roam his hands up her arms pulling her closer to him. Their chests were flush together. “Rey?” his voice was almost confused, baffled. “You… why?” 

Rey frowned as his eyes went wide staring at her. “I don’t feel lonely around you.” It was the best way she could describe being around him. “When I’m with you, I know a part of me is complete.” She kissed him again and his hands dropped to the tops of her thighs. “I want to be with you, I want  _ you, _ in all ways.” 

He smiled, kissing her this time, and raising his hand to cup the back of her head. 

“If this is what you want, I’m happy to give it,” he whispered. “Just let me go get something.” She nodded getting up off his lap. He stood pulling her closer and kissing her again. “It will be quick I promise.” She nodded, and he left looking back at her before he closed the door. Rey swallowed and settled back onto the edge of the sofa. Then she heard some muffled talking and felt an unsettling feeling in her gut. 

“She wants  _ me _ , I can feel that!” she heard through the door. “So if you can’t stand that you can leave, I have no clue why she’d want…this.” Ben’s voice choked a bit, then went quiet again, more muffled and indistinct say for some parts of words. “Wi.. no...ke… sa...no.” was all she could hear, and soon after another short silence he as back, grinning to her. “Come with me.” He held out his hand. She stood, taking his hand as he led her back through the apartment. 

“To the…” she swallowed. He pulled her into a sparse bedroom, with a simple bed with no posts, but a large black wooden headboard. 

“Bed.” He pulled her to the side of the bed and settled down on the edge, leaning so he could plant a kiss on her collarbone. She smiled at the feeling, running her hands through his hair. He roamed his hands up her side and cupped her breasts in his hands. 

“Oh, that feels good,” she told him, and it did. The touch, although still with cold hands, sent glorious shivers through her skin. She heard him chuckle as he kissed lower between her breasts. 

“I’ll make you feel even better,” he told her, Rey dropped her hands to the collar of his shirt, unbuttoning the first one. He drew his hands back to hers and guided them further down and unbuttoning them with her. He kissed her again, parting his legs so that she could stand between them. With a shrug he was out of the shirt still with undershirt, pants and shoes. He trailed his fingers lightly down her spine to her buttocks. “Are you sure?” he asked her closing his eyes and kissing the side of one breast. 

“Oh yes!” 

He grinned into her skin, and let her gather up his shirt and pull it off him. Feeling his solid chest on her stomach made her shiver and that feeling in her stomach flop happily. Ben stood pushing her a little backwards and guiding her hands down to the button of his pants. 

“You are amazing Rey, perfect, absolutely perfect.” He kissed her again, sliding his hands down to the hem of her underwear. She smiled as she got the button off his pants.

“You’re even better,” she replied and he smiled turning her so that her back was to the bed. 

He eased any sort of nervous feeling that might crawl its way into her. She smiled as he threaded his hands through her hair, guiding her towards the bed. “I promise, it’s just you and me.” He kissed her again before she settled onto the still warm edge of the bed and pushed herself further onto the mattress with him following, kissing her all the while. 

Later, Rey settled beside him feeling an unfamiliar ache of pain beside him in the bed. She was tucked into his arms and body, feeling the warmth radiating off him. There was a sense of right, a sense that right now the world was in order. Ben breathed in her hair, his hand making circles along her bare side and stomach. The other was trapped under her neck and crooked down in front of her face, she kissed his palm and sighed. 

“Are you alright?” he asked her, concern coloring his voice. 

“I could use some water,” she replied. She could feel him smile into the back of her head. “But it’s okay. Stay with me?” 

Ben slowly drew away and dread started to crawl into her. 

“Its okay,” he soothed as she pushed herself up turning to him. “I’m just getting you water.” Rey frowned, but he bent down and kissed her forehead. “I promise I’ll be back.” The dread didn’t leave but she nodded. The moment he left that feeling of dread grew as she settled back down and tried not to think of it, he’d be back, he’d come back to her. Cold snapped into the room, it wasn’t a gradual change, but like all warmth was suddenly taken from the room. 

Fear rolled into her and she swallowed it down. 

_ “It’s time we talk, Bunny,”  _ a cold voice told her.

Rey pulled the covers over her body as something crawled on top of the bed. It didn’t leave an impression, the bed didn’t bend its weight, but she could feel it there. 

_ “That weakling may think you under his hand, but you are dangerous. I will not allow such interference in my work.”  _

Rey closed her eyes, the voices in her started, pain lanced into her mind. But one voice, but not the voice that was just music given form to voice. This one was another’s, a woman, voice matronly and kind. 

Rey felt her limbs go weak, tingly like before when she had that half remembered dream. But now, they moved, she turned her head, and knew it wasn’t herself, she was trapped in her body as it moved. 

_ “I missed you Ani.”  _ she spoke. The shadow creature from before was there behind her. Her hand moved and slowly brushed her fingertips along its jaw, it was insubstantial yet weighty.  _ “I missed you so much.” _

The creature was frozen behind her, he held no real face, like a human being filled in but Rey could sense its shock, sense its unease, guilt, rage, and fear in it. She wasn’t sure what was the first emotion it felt, but these were the ones she could feel. 

_ “You,” _ the creature hissed out and its hand reached out hand circling down to her neck. It didn’t tighten down, just encircling her neck with its large hand. 

_ “The balance came, and I tried, I tried hard Ani. You would never listen. You never have listened.”  _ She dropped her hand from the shadow and was able to take its hand off her neck.  _ “Come with me Ani, we can be together again.” _

The shadow hissed, and drew back, away from the bed, and she pushed herself to sitting and stood looking at it. For just a moment, not from a flash of light, but more like getting a flash from an old memory, Rey saw the man that once was the shadow. 

He was tall, and slim. Almost sort of gawky, with sandy brown hair and bright eyes. But there was something about him, a hardness born from the war that Rey had seen in other veterans. He had a scar that ran down from one eye, she knew that wasn’t the only scar he had. This vision faded as the lanky shadow returned.  _ “Padme?” _ it asked and she felt a truly sad smile take her face. 

_ “Look what you’ve done to yourself Ani. Look what you’ve done to your family. Our child, Ani. Her child.” _ Rey felt a few tears run down her cheeks as she stood, and walked towards it, the shadow gave ground until she followed it to the door of the silent apartment. Rey knew Ben was not in the apartment with her.  _ “I can’t stay long Ani, it hurts her, but please, I’m begging you to stop. The balance has come, and is waiting. He will kill us both again.”  _

_ “I will kill him again and again. You are mine.”  _

Rey felt her eyes close. The shadow tried to touch her again, but this time it passed through her, unable to effect a single hair on her body. Its blank visage looked to her, now fear, and only fear filled it. _“Padme?”_

_ “I loved you so much Ani. But this? No. No more Ani. Let go. Let everyone go.” _ She slipped through the door and crept down the stairs as the shadow blankly followed her.  _ “We belonged together. It was always you that tore us apart. I hoped our grandson could be different. You couldn’t let go. Won’t let go. I will not speak to you ever again.”  _

Rey shut her door and latched it closed. Still under control by this person she watched as her body flexed muscles beyond Rey’s own power and pushed the bookcase and several chairs in front of the door. A long moment of silence, then pure utter rage filled the entire apartment; the shadow couldn’t pass into it, and Rey felt whatever spirit it was inside of her leave. 

That sense of wrongness, pervaded the entire room and might be invading the entire complex. Heavy steps started down, or maybe up, Rey couldn’t move. Her whole body ached but she pushed herself up even as it hurt, muscles screaming. Shakily she was able to move to her door blinking at how she blocked it. There wasn’t a knock, but the door handle started to turn but was stopped by the door lock. Anxiety filled her, whoever was on the other side was who she was afraid of, from her whole life. A small, insignificant part of her.

“Bunny?” Ben’s voice floated out. Maybe it was Ben. Rey sunk down feeling like there was nothing she could do. “Are you okay?” She hugged her knees to her chest, still naked as the day she was born. “Please open the door, Bunny.” 

She crawled away from the door, the tape deck that Ben had brought for the party was still in her apartment, she turned it on, and made her way to the bathroom. Completely drowning out anything he could say to her. A few thuds, that she could nearly feel, then was quieted as she turned on the tap, leaning into the side of the tub as it filled. 

Soon she slipped in sinking into the hot water and focused on the music. A migraine filled her head, and she didn’t know if it would ever go away. The hot water started to soothe the aches and pains of her body as she ignored one thud that shook the apartment. Instead she focused entirely on cleaning herself and trying to not feel like something wanted to claim her, a type of evil, not even daring to sleep that night.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day Rey sighed and felt more at ease. The migraine had faded into nothing more then a headache. The tape deck had long since stopped its music, and was just a silent whirring machine. She carefully tiptoed to it, and shut off the noise it was making, and went to cook something for breakfast. 

She startled when she heard something creak and froze her eyes on the door, someone stood, and leaned against the wood. Knocking faintly on the wood and their hands were placed on the wood. “Rey?” Ben’s voice was hoarse, like he had spent the entire night screaming. She stayed still, like a rabbit frozen in terror. “Rey, are you there?” There was another groan of wood, and a tiny duel tap. “I’m sorry, would you please talk to me?” The air chilled again. “She is mine,” he hissed out, “Mine alone.” 

Quickly as the temperature dropped, it came back to normal, she heard Ben sigh and the door creaked again as all weight from it was lifted. “We’ll talk later. When you want to.” He left heavy steps fading away and up the stairs. Rey let out a shaky breath, the hunger that might have crawled into her stomach fading into nothing but tense anxiety. She paced and continued to do so until her legs felt jittery and light. Then she sunk down to the ground near the middle of her apartment. 

First thing, she needed to get the objects moved away from the door, if she were to escape that needed to happen.  _ ‘The windows?’  _ a small voice in her head spoke up, prompting her to action. The windows were all nailed shut then sealed with paint as well. She didn’t dare break one, choosing the door as the sole option. 

It took hours, and more sweating, more jittery limbs but she was able to push all the furniture away from the door. That was as much as she could do at the moment and despite the gnawing upset in her stomach just ate plain unbuttered toast.

Hearing the steps as they came down and paused at her door, she prepared herself. After another moment he left, heading outside. She walked to her bathroom to continue her routine. Feeling a little more normal she put the bubble solution into the tub and leaned into the sides of the tub as it soothed away all the muscle aches and bone deep weariness that had started to etch into her body. 

Right after the bath she heard knocking and went to the door waiting. 

“Hello, sweetie?” Maz’s voice called from the door. Rey paused, and then unlocked it, slowly edging the door open. “Oh dear, you look dreadful. May I come in?” 

Rey debated quickly, but nodded slipping away from the door. Maz walked in and shut the door behind her with a frown. 

“What do you want Maz?” she asked. 

Maz gestured to the sofa and both women settled down onto opposite seats. 

“Rey, you’ve been shut up here for almost two days haven’t you?” Maz asked her, she shifted in her seat. “Talk to me, dear.” 

“I what is wrong with Ben?” she asked, feeling like she knew the answer already. 

Maz straightened, her eyes wide and fearful. “He that is for him to say Rey,” she stated soothingly. 

“Why?” 

“It could be bad for me, Rey,” she stated firmly. Rey straightened. “But believe me he has been getting better from this, I think you are a good influence on him. He used to never go outside his place for weeks, months really. But now, he’s been better.” 

“But this thing — can it be stopped?” She stared at the ground and her bare feet.

“I don’t know, maybe. Lots of people have been hurt for this, are still hurting. It has to be done. If not, then we can all be hurt. Maybe you can stop it.” Rey swallowed. “What I know Rey, is that there are three. You, him and another.” 

“You know I’m… like him?” Maz nodded to her. 

“You might be able to control him, before the other comes.” Rey breathed out. 

“The other?” Maz stood and cocked her head listening.

“He’s still gone good, the balance — it’s what ensures that neither of you will harm a great amount of people.” 

Rey blinked. “I would never try to harm people.” 

Maz nodded, and straightened, just a second later there were footsteps, and they paused in front of her door. A short knock, and then they left for upstairs when neither of them answered.

“I have to go, do not tell  _ him _ I spoke with you about this.” Maz began to leave and Rey put her hand on her shoulder. 

“Maz, I we were together,” Rey grimaced as Maz blinked. 

“Oh dear, why don’t you speak to Ben? Talk with him. You know him better than anyone else.” Maz got to the door and opened it, in front of Rey’s door was a massive bouquet of flowers. Maz grinned to it and then looked to Rey. “That is so unlike... please Rey, talk to him.” 

“Tomorrow.” 

Maz moved away from the door as Rey paused just before picking up the flowers and carrying them to her kitchen. The door was still open, and with a breath out, she shut and locked it. Maybe tomorrow, right now she had to think of exactly why she felt the urge to flee. Fostered in what felt like a long time ago, or maybe something, or someone else. “Out of wedlock…” she mumbled and sighed happily. She let all the feelings go, like a child’s balloon into the sky. 

Finally as she laid down to sleep it came for her like a long lost friend consuming her into a still fretful darkness. Dreams were nebulous, and she found herself almost reaching for something through ink black seas. She found an island, her core keeping her steady and rising her out of the strange sea. Here she stayed until the gentle prod of consciousness came back and she pushed herself up off the bed.

Her silk underthings stood out in the sheer shirt she chose, blue pants ending in flares. She had a long canvas belt that even when cinched lingered down almost to her knee. A quick breakfast of toast and eggs she was ready despite the very last of the lingering unease she felt. The flowers remained, still vibrant and happy as she steeled herself, unlocking and opening her door. 

Stepping up the stairs she went to his door and breathed out as she knocked on the door to his apartment. There was silence on the other end, but she knew he was there. She could almost see him settled on the floor against the wall trying to find some sleep. 

“Ben?” she called through the door. She heard a shuffle, like an animal suddenly jarring up to a halt. “Ben, can we talk?” She heard him scramble up, and in just a few strides he yanked the door open wood screaming and breaking from whatever could prevent it from opening, Rey took a step back, blinking. 

“Rey,” he smiled as he said her name almost like a sigh of relief, she stayed still as he closed the distance hugging her to him. She relaxed letting her hands roam up to his back clenching the loose black fabric in her hands. He released her drawing back and looking her up and down. “Rey.” He cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her. She smiled allowing him to draw her back into the apartment the door swinging a little limply back and forth. 

“Ben. Talking?” she warned as he pulled away. He sighed, and nodded to her drawing their bodies apart but keeping a hand on her lower back. 

“I’m here Rey.” He soothed, drawing her to one of the sole human comforts in his apartment. She settled down on the edge of the sofa, with him beside her. 

“Ben, I’m sorry.” 

He shook his head. “No, that was my fault. I let my guard down.” Rey closed her eyes as he replied quickly. She looked to him, seeing the dark circles under his eyes, he looked like he had spent the last three days as sleepless as her. “I won’t ever again. You are mine, and mine alone and I won’t let anyone take you away from me.” He brushed a loose hair from her face. She shivered, but the unease was gone, this was a different kind of shiver that set her nerves alight. 

“It’s when you left and didn’t come back….” She breathed out and leaned into his hand as he cupped her cheek. “You remember what I told you? On the bus?” Ben stilled, his eye twitched. “I felt so scared, all that fear from before came back. Like you never would come back to me.” He dropped his hand, staring at her blankly. 

“Sheev, he always said that…” she took his hands in hers. “That, was the worst sin. That would make the devil come up from hell itself to claim us if we did it. He said that about a lot of things, but that was one he said the most.” 

“He probably did it himself.” Ben stated flatly. 

“I am so glad he’s gone,” she could acknowledge it, the joy of his nefarious passing had eclipsed and taken out whatever unease she felt over it. “That feeling of this thing coming to get me, this evil, came back in full.” Ben straightened and she ignored it. “So I ran, I’m sorry.” she squeezed his hands. 

“No. I told you it’s my fault.” he told her lowly. Taking his hands back he glided them up to her upper arms drawing her to stare at his face. His eyes stared blankly at her navel. “Let me make it up to you.” She smiled. 

“You don’t need to do anything but spend time with me,” she soothed. Ben smiled eyes looking back to hers, no longer glazed. “So long as it’s you, I’m happy.” She touched his cheek, drawing his face closer with hers and kissing him again. His hands dropped to her sides as the kiss deepened brushing his thumbs along the sides of her breasts. Feeling that glorious shiver down her back she arched into him. 

“You are so perfect,” he mumbled. Slowly his hands dropped again to her waist, drawing her forwards, she slipped onto his lap, legs now wrapped around his waist. He untucked her loose shirt as she ran her hands over his stomach. She felt a chuckle bubble through him, as they broke contact allowing him to pull off her shirt, leaving her in her underclothes. “My Rey,” he hissed out, large hands now unhooking the material from her body. 

Rey sighed happily, everything was in its place again, like it hadn’t ever been out of place. “My Ben,” she whispered back. He paused for a short second, then grinned placing kisses down her cheek, and neck. He stalled to suck a wet bruise just under her collarbone. 

“Say it again.” he demanded lowly, placing another mark on the other side. His nails scraped a little across her back. She dug her fingers under his shirt as a reply smiling at the tiny thrills of pain she felt as one nail drag down her spine, making a furrow of parted skin in its wake. 

“My Ben.” He sat up a little pulling her into a hot kiss “I lo—” he moved abruptly, cupping her rump in his hands as he stood and making her flail a moment to wrap her arms around his neck for stability. He moved, heading towards his room, which was exactly how she remembered leaving it as he lowered her down to the mattress and blankets. Anything else she wanted to say was swallowed down as he pulled off his shirt and dragged her belt through the loops of her pants. 

“So beautiful…” he mumbled reverently unbuttoning her pants, as she fumbled for his but they were just elastic black pants. She slid them down so he could step out of them and guide her back up to the head board in the middle of the bed. 

All too soon she was with him in his too small tub on his lap as he washed her back spending too much time pressing a series of kisses down her back to be productive at cleaning. The hot water made her various scratches sting lightly letting her sigh as she leaned up against the side of the tub still halfway onto him. “I thought you were washing my back?” She teased feeling him smile into the skin of her back. 

“I am washing,” he replied, and she snorted into a giggle. 

“How many scratches?” she asked cocking her head to him as he stalled over her back head bowed to kiss her again. His long hair tickled her back and she squirmed a little making it tickle even more. “Phffft that tickles!” Ben rose his head from his ministrations drawing one hand over her back, down her arm and drawing it blindly to him. 

“You're not the only scratch victim,” he told her darkly letting her fingertips touch a series of only slightly embarrassing half moons along his sides and stomach. Rey bit her lip, the last remaining bit of fear in her vanishing as she turned around slipping so that she was back on top of him, legs now splayed up as she lowered her head to kiss his chest. So very lightly, only the lightest of kiss. He snorted lightly as it tickled him.

“I can kiss them better,” she told him. He wrapped his hand through her wet hair pulling her up to kiss him before she tracked wet kisses down to his lower stomach. He had to slip up onto the edge of the tub sitting on it leaving only his legs dangling in the water. She kissed down his stomach placing her hands on his knees then for support. For a moment he tensed, then relaxed as she most definitely skipped over the scratches on his stomach for something else. 

Soon Rey was dressed back in her clothes from the morning and heading towards his parents apartment. After a light knock Han opened the door to them gaping a little. Behind him Leia froze, and then a bright and strange smile of relief took her features. Rey took a breath to steady herself as the two stared at her and then Ben. “We are going out to lunch. Did you two want to come with?” Rey asked. 

“Ben, are you sure?” Leia asked. 

“Of course!” Ben replied. There was a soft sigh that went through both of them, like a sort of tense breath held now released. “Mom?” Ben questioned a little drawing away from Rey. 

“It’s okay, you two start out, where are you going?” Leia smiled that relieved smile again, Han seemed to relax further with the same sort of relief in him. Ben told them but Rey was a little too focused on the strange sort of reactions the two were having to care where. 

“Go on then, we’ll catch up.” Han said simply. Ben nodded snaking his hand around her waist before pulling her towards the stairs and down. 

“They were happy,” Ben mumbled and blinked before smiling. 

“That’s good! Are you happy too?” Rey replied he stalled with her at the end of the stairs and kissed the top of her head. 

“I am more than just happy.” he whispered to her. “Where do you want to go afterwards?” Rey shrugged in his arms. 

“So long as it’s with you? I’d go anywhere, even the moon,” he chuckled and pulled a little back so they could walk easier down the stairs. 

“Just let me go to the bathroom real quick,” she told him and he nodded, as she opened her door and left it open heading to her bathroom. She paused in the area, her bathroom was almost vastly different then Ben’s now that she bothered to see things. She had never seen Han and Leia’s or Maz’s for that matter. But hers was large, with a floor drain. Fully tiled, but Ben’s was not. His was small, just a tub with a shower head, almost fully half the size of her tub. 

It was like her apartment took up the entire half of the side, and she had never seen the other half of the first floor. Shaking her head Rey did her business, grabbing a light jacket to head out with Ben. Han and Leia were just coming down as she exited and left with them all into the light of day. It felt like days since she had been outside, and both Han and Leia blinked as they got outside. Leia leaned into Han, holding onto his arm as Ben led everyone to the bus stop. 


	15. Chapter 15

Rey knew she was dreaming when she felt like she was drowning again, but a hand reached out and pulled her up into a rocky shore. The woman looked fairly severe, with her long hair pulled back. The woman was shorter than Rey, and there was a ring of ghastly purple black bruises around her neck that was wide as a hand and Rey knew it was how the woman died. “Wake up,” was all she said, and Rey woke, her whole body almost jerking. The bed was cold and empty, and she knew it had been that way since she fell asleep. 

“Ben?” she asked into the darkness blinking as her eyes adjusted to the night. Everything was an almost dull black and white as she slipped out of bed, and crept around the room. Heading out the door she heard something like a mumbling, a low sound underneath her, and slowly crept towards it. In what would be the ‘childrens’ room or the other ‘guest’ room from her apartment she stalled at the door. The mummering was thick and there was a slow sort of drone to the air behind the door. 

Like a thousand flies lived behind the door, Rey swallowed as she opened the door, it not being locked, and found it was more like a closet, that lead directly down stairs. To the other half of the first floor from where her apartment was. Thankfully the steps were quiet as she slipped down them following the drone and into the flickering light of well over twenty candles. Rey froze at what she saw completely confused, and scared. 

There in the center almost hovering over what she thought could be a manikin was what looked like a human torso. It wasn’t alive, but it’s limbs had been shorn off, then cauterized black with even blackened bone sticking out. It wasn’t alive, but preserved with a shiny slick of something that could be crude oil or something else just as thick. Its eyes were vacant and white as the candles around it burned, flicking with small drafts from the gathered crowd around it. In blood red robes stood several people whom she couldn’t see the faces of. 

They spoke too quietly for her to hear the source of the droning, but the area was much like her apartment, torn out with pillars and a separate area which she could barely see but figured had to be an altar from the way one of the people stood by it. An animalistic noise brought her just a little further down, even though her heart was racing in her chest. The sound was quiet, almost nothing but one last sigh, one last struggle as something died. One of the figures, taller than the rest kneeled in front of the torso holding a large bowl in his hands. Rey knew it was Ben, and he poured that substance over the corpse. Blood, the smell of it pervaded the entire room. 

From an open cavity in the chest that she couldn’t see, the blood poured out from it, filling the chest cavity and flowing out from it, the shadow emerged. First small tiny like a fairy in a fantasy tale. But then as Ben stood over it, it slipped out rushing up and into the hood and face of Ben. She took a quiet breath in, and slowly, backed up the stairs, as apparently the ritual was completed. Creeping back up she shut the door and blindly went back to the bed, settling down into it with a shiver. The warmth she left behind was long gone, but she curled into herself waiting tensely. Just like twice before, her limbs felt heavy but tingly as in the quiet she heard Ben emerge from the down stairs. 

He seemed to stall in front of his door, allowing her to hear just as quiet, almost ghostly, steps of the others moving up the stairs, and into the other apartment. One breaking off, which must be Maz, as they ascended the other set of stairs. Soon Ben’s steps moved into the bedroom, leaving her trying to flinch, or move, but unable to. It seemed like the paralyzation of sleep took her while her body was still awake. 

_ “She could be brought forth…”  _ that cold voice spoke lowly. It seemed to be pained just a little, but there was no cold in the room indicating its full presence.  _ “You can have yours, and I will have mine.”  _

Rey wanted to swallow, but instead kept her eyes shut, that seemed to be the only thing she could do, open or close her eyes. 

“I don’t understand, you said she was the enemy,” Ben stated flatly but just as softly. His hand touched her cheek, thankfully with her frozen body she couldn’t cringe from the cold chill, and smell of death on his fingers. 

_ “This is as new to me as it is to you.” _ said the voice, and Ben moved settling down on the bed behind her. “ _ What learned was through trial and error…” _ He leaned forward just a little making the bed creak. 

“Teach her. If she is like this, then maybe she can do the same. We can try it, see if she can do that,” Ben stated. “If she can, then I don’t know what to do.” 

_ “Neither do I. This is unknown. The rest… they do not speak.” _ Ben settled down finally laying back down into the bed with a sigh. If her body wasn’t paralyzed Rey would have flinched as he put an arm around her waist. “ _ Sleep, she won’t be harmed, too much of value is within her now.”  _ Ben nodded into her, and she relaxed just the tiniest bit and felt true sleep finally take her down as if it never had left her in the first place. 

At least when she woke, this time, he was with her. Warm body pressing against hers just like they were never parted in the first place. Ben mumbled something in his sleep, and she frowned rolling over slowly to stare at his slack face. It was honest, and open, the face of someone troubled, like a man on the street who had just had the longest day of work of his life. She traced the point of his chin, up the jaw and to his ears then to his cheekbones, and then back down just a little to his lips. She knew what she saw last night was wrong, it was something that she had to define as unnatural. Ben pursed his lips blinking his eyes open, it took him a moment to focus but he smiled. Pulling her closer to him and placing a kiss on the top of her forehead. 

“Good morning,” he told her. She smiled and kissed his adams apple. 

“Morning to you, too,” she replied. He kept her close even as she started to stretch a little preventing her from getting up. “Come on, we have to get up.” He made a low groan. “Early bird gets the worm,” she taunted. 

“Alright, but only if I get to bathe you again.” Ben let her go, and both pushed themselves up. She scowled at him shaking her head. 

“Are we going to get distracted again?” she asked him leaning over his shoulders and back pressing herself up against the skin of his back. Hands draping over his shoulders he blinked to her and smiled, turning his head to hers and pulling her into a quick kiss. 

“You got distracted,” he told her. She kissed the back of his neck moving with him as he straightened, then slowly slipped up to standing. He quickly swept her into her arms, as she laughed happily. He carried her into the bathroom, where she did confirm it was vastly different then hers, his didn’t have a floor drain in sight, but at this moment she didn’t care too much. 

“You’re going to need a larger tub, maybe we can use mine?” she told him as he ran fingers through her hair, releasing the tangles of sleep. She had her feet soaking as the tub filled with hot water. 

“Yes, I can do that. But for now,” he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, but she leaned it back looking up at him. Ben smirked and placed a light kiss on the tip of her nose. “Is there anywhere you want to go to?” he asked. 

_ The library,  _ that matronly voice told her, quietly. Distantly like a hollow voice through a wall. Rey smiled to him. 

“The library?” she asked. He grinned down at her. “Please?” 

“Anything you want, I will give,” he told her. 

Rey ignored the unsettled feeling inside of her instead, pulled Ben down for a kiss. 

“What if I want just you?” she asked him in a whisper. “No one else.” She felt since he was pressed up against her the shiver that ran through him. His hands ran down her shoulders to her back and sides resting on her hips. He nearly had to go down on his knees to kiss each shoulder. 

“As you wish,” he whispered to her. Slowly guiding her hips around so that she was now straddling him as he knelt in front of her. “Try not to fall in the water.” he teased gently, and placed a kiss on a thigh. Rey bit her lip, and smiled running her hands through his hair. 

It didn’t feel soon, before she was at the library, feeling a light draw into the depths of the more massive building then she was used to. “I’ll meet you at the doors in an hour.” He smiled at her. “I want to check out some books of old paintings.” She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. 

“I’m looking for wood-working books,” she told him. He chuckled and both of them parted. Rey quickly slipped through the stacks of books, blindly looking for something, in the stacks past fiction books to a sort of hidden corner, where there were several low chairs. Rey paused, Hux and Amilyn were together heads bowed together, whispering harshly. Hux frowned at a book on his lap, it was bound in black, Rey cleared her throat. Both jerked their heads up to her, Hux had mostly healed from what happened to him only having the last of the cuts to be healed fully. 

“How did you find me?” Hux demanded. She looked at Amilyn, and both blanched. 

“You said it can be cut!” Amilyn snapped to him. Rey slowly walked to them, and glanced around quickly. She knew Ben wasn’t near. 

“Is he here?” Hux asked her carefully as Rey frowned down at the two. 

“In the building. Let me see.” Rey told them holding out a hand. Amilyn looked to Hux quickly, but gave her hand out. The small mole was still there, and left her with a both sorrowful feeling, but also sort of sickening sort of feeling. She reached into her mind into that place with voices and they answered. Pulling off a single strand of hair Rey tied the strand around her wrist. “Snap it off in three days, then it will vanish.” She told them blandly, with a voice that sounded like an old woman’s. 

“You are like him aren’t you? That’s how you…” Hux grimaced as Amilyn pulled her hand back. 

“What you were given would be taken back however,” she told them now back to her normal voice. Amilyn nodded to her. 

“I saw something happening. I need to know what is happening.” Rey stared at Hux the man frowned. “Please. It was this ritual,” Hux blinked eyes going wide. 

“Tell me now,” he demanded. Rey swallowed and settled down in front of the two sitting down cross legged. 

“It was dark and they were chanting. I think it was Han and Leia, along with Maz. Ben was there and there was a corpse there. They might have killed an animal, but they poured the blood on the corpse and something rose out from it. I think it was his grandfather.” 

Hux dropped himself down to the book, and flipped through it. 

“Is that important?” she asked him. He flinched, and stopped at a page. 

“I took it from them, hoping I could learn things.” Hux told her slowly. Rey didn’t make a move for it. He stopped at a page and stared down at it. “From what he—” Rey snatched the book and stared at it. 

“This is my handwriting,” she stated flatly. Hux didn’t reach for it back as she stared down at the page. It detailed a ritual, that once could be stated to bring forth a spirit for talking to it. Rey sighed, and shut the book holding it back to Hux. He looked at it and then back to her. 

“You know don’t you?” he asked her. Rey swallowed. 

“Sometimes people learn. By seeing what harm they can do.” Rey told them, and stood nodding to the two. “See you soon, Hux,” she told him walking away from the two. 

“What are you?” Hux demanded her back harshly. 

Rey froze, allowing that part of her to come forth, one she could deny still, but it was becoming clear to her that she couldn’t keep it hidden. Destiny whether or not she wanted it was coming to claim them both. 

“There are three. The master, the apprentice, and the balance,” she told him. “Pretty soon, the balance will come.” Hux gaped to her as she turned and frowned at him. “And the scales of who is who will be changed again. And then again. And again.” Rey took a breath. “I’m so tired of this.”

“Who… Then what are you?” 

Rey turned to him, and smiled before leaving the two, blindly grabbing a few books about wood carving along the way to the doors. She smiled at Ben when not long after he came out of the stacks holding a book the size of her torso. He pulled her over to a table and showed her very good prints of several old paintings she had only heard about. She loved the way he talked about them leaning against his shoulder as he explained their techniques and various groundbreakings thereof. It felt good, and felt normal, that allowed that part of her to relax back down and she could forget again what her place was in the world. 


	16. Chapter 16

It was night when the two finally started back towards the apartment, Rey forgot to take the books with her from the library, leaving them on the table, and following him out into the city where he gave her a short tour of mind boggling tall buildings, and the just as huge cranes that built them. Ben opened the door for her and she slipped in and from a smile to a frown she knew something was wrong the moment she stepped on the threshold. Almost as if the purpose of the day was to keep her away from the building, and it had worked. 

Ben slowly lead her back behind the stairs skipping her apartment door and paused in front of what looked like just a normal wooden panel. “Rey, do you trust me?” He asked her, putting his hand on the wall and offering his hand to her. She looked to it, but took it trying to smile. He pulled her close to him his other hand pressing down a portion of the wood molding. With a soft click, and a push he pushed a false door in, and into the place she had found before. 

“Ben, please,” she said so softly he must not have heard as he led her into the large room. Where once was one corpse, there were now two. Whoever the mortician was had to have been a master, the woman that sat there was nearly perfect. Like she had never died in the first place. Laid down beside the burned out torso they were opposites. Two contrasting things, the only sign of damage on the woman was a thick ring of ugly bruises around her neck. That part of Rey bubbled up and she fought it down. 

“I need you to do something,” he told her, slowly drawing her closer to the two corpses. The woman was clothed in thick lilac clothes, even with a veil, like she was a bride that had died before her wedding day. Rey stopped, arm drawing taught until Ben stalled looking back to her. She shuddered, just on the side of the poor woman, and took her hand back from him closing her eyes and stepping back away from the two corpses. 

“Rey?” he questioned softly. She shivered, and kept walking backwards until her back hit the wall. For a moment Ben stood there but slowly walked to her, stopping just out of arms reach. “It’s okay, they are just corpses.” 

She grimaced. “Ben, what is this?” she asked him nearly choking on his name. 

“This is my grandfather and grandmother,” Ben told her and she opened her eyes to look up at him. She shivered, and cringed as he raised his hand. “It’s okay Rey, all you need to do is a little ritual. It only needs to happen once a month.” He tried to soothe. “That would make him happy, and…” 

“Ben, don’t do this.” she told him softly. He froze, hand out to her. “Don’t go this way please.” He dropped his hand and looked down to the ground. Cold started to seep into the room and her next shiver had nothing to do with it. 

“You know don’t you? You’ve always known,” he demanded more than asked her. 

“Ben, I can’t do this,” she whimpered. “She won’t come back, she doesn’t want to come back.” 

He stepped up to her and she cringed against the wall. He put his hand by her head leaning in closer to her. 

“Rey, please. It hurts, but you get used to it. This is what we are, you know it don’t you?” She let out a tiny sob. “You can do it Rey, this is who I am, this is what you are.” he leaned closer to her until their foreheads touched. 

“Ben, I only wanted you. No one else,” she told him. “You can stop this. You can, you don’t have to be this way.” 

Ben sighed, his other hand rose up and grabbed her upper arm tightly. “ _ This _ is what you are Rey.  _ They _ are us.” he told her darkly. “I am this, and you have to accept your place.” 

She swallowed, feeling a bruise form where his hand tightened again on her arm. 

“You’re hurting me,” she told him weakly. His breath hitched in and he let her go, spinning and turning away from her to pace away from her to the two corpses. 

“I…. look at me Rey.” She stared down to the ground away from him. “Please.” She shook her head. 

“I can’t do this,” she told the floor. Ben slowly approached her, Rey flinched, quickly side stepping away from him. “Ben — this — I’m so tired. Do you even know how long we’ve been doing this?” Rey gestured towards the two in the center, finally looking back to him as his jaw went slack. “It wasn’t just them, it wasn’t just all those other lives. I don’t — I just want to be normal. I never wanted to be a monster.” 

“You aren’t this. Let me teach you. Do this Rey. That’s all he wants.” 

She frowned, allowing that part of her to finally fuse into her again. All those voices in her head rang into her skull painfully. Thousands of previous lives, some good, some bad, and some never having to deal with anything like this. 

“How long has it been this way Ben? How long as he made you do this?” Ben blinked and looked to the dead body of his grandfather. “All this was all it was just to call them forth. Make it…” she paused to wipe blood from her nose, “easier.” 

“So you do know,” he replied. He tried to step towards her, but she moved towards the hidden door. “Since I was little,” he told her, and grimaced. “It makes things better, its fine, sometimes… it feels good.” Rey let out a breath slowly. “She won’t have a choice,” he paused before he could finish blinking. 

“Do I have a choice, Ben?” she asked him softly. “Did I ever have a choice?” she pressed. “None of us did. Ben — you’re holding on. Let it go, let everything, and everyone go. It’s time to stop this. All those you’ve tied yourself to. We can stop it, please.” Rey didn’t move towards him as he stared at her blankly. “I can help you. I  _ will _ help you. I always will.” 

He frowned towards her. “No. You will do this, I just need a drop of your blood, Rey. Trust me — after that, we can do whatever we want.” 

Run, every portion of her told her to run. To allow this to run its course as the balance came. As it equalized everything again. And again, and again. As it always did. Then they could try yet again, and try what? To push forth humanity? To achieve a long ago distant goal? Rey held out her hand to him, pleading with her eyes, a short look of triumph took his features. 

He pulled out a small folding knife that seemed to be made of pure gold. He reached out and took her hand. Slowly drawing her closer, Rey moved, quickly twisting the knife from his hand. He gripped her wrist tightly twisting it and then yanked her to him. He grabbed her other arm, twisting it painfully as he drew the other hand now armed to her chest. 

“Did you think that would work, Bunny?” he questioned. She winced as the pain in her sharpened. Her left arm twisted behind her, and the other locked at the wrist in front of her. The tip almost poking the flesh of her chin. 

“I’m sorry,” she told him lowly. He tightened his hold on her, she moaned softly as her muscles and bones screamed in pain. “I love you, Ben.” 

Just for a moment the grip weakened, and that was all she needed. Rey slipped her right arm free, and slashed blindly behind her. There was a hiss of pain, the other hand let her go and she bolted for the door. Slipping out and barreling past Han and Leia, who were standing there on the stairs, faces both mirrors of pain. Going out of the door, she raced down the street, and then into the city. 

She only stopped to catch her breath, limbs trumbling weakly as she folded the knife back into itself and into her pocket. Heading further into the city Rey stopped at a twenty-four hour laundromat, finding a few coins people left and taking them, before heading out and going down a few more streets over. She froze as she stared at a payphone before slipping the coins in and quickly dialing the only one she could think might let her have a safe place to stay. The only one that they wouldn’t be able to find. 

“Mmm? What the heck, it’s nearly—” Rose began sleepily. 

“Rose, I need your help.” Rey told her. 

There was a breath in. “Where are you?” Rose scrambled behind the phone. “Oh God, here, are you being followed?” Rose’s voice was high as she spoke. 

“No, they can’t follow me,” she replied. 

“Okay, I’m gonna give you an address, I will be there, I’ll get you to my place.” Rose didn’t exactly sound convinced. But she relayed an address. Rey set the phone down, leaving the little change that slunk out of the machine as she moved. She felt weak, and felt far worse leaving Ben there injured and in pain. Blindly heading to the address Rey felt the knife in her pocket. She could end it, end the entire thing, and then it could stop, at least for her. 

Rose, breathless and flushed, ran into the small coffee shop. “What happened? Did they hurt you? What's going on?” 

“ I’ll tell you what I can when we are safe.” Rey told her quietly. Rose nodded to her, and looked around. She quickly pulled Rey out, heading through alley after alley, towards main pathways, and through a children's park, taking an extremely long route back from the coffee shop, and then to the very tall apartment building beside it. Taking Rey into it, and up to the middle floors, and then to her apartment. Rey shivered as she got into the dark room, and felt like vomiting. 

“There, my god Rey, what the hell.” Rose flicked on the light as Rey pulled of the jacket, showcasing the thick bruising on her arms. “I knew that guy was a creep. You need to go to the police!” Rey shook her head. “Oh god, they own the police don’t they?” Rose swore profusely. 

“It will be okay.” Rey soothed. “They don’t know where we are.” Rose blanched a bit, as Rey spoke. 

“What about the phone? Can they trace my apartment?” Rey swallowed, putting a soft smile to her face. 

“You are safe, we are safe Rose. I promise you.” Rey told her. Rose didn’t exactly look convinced but nodded to Rey. “I won’t be staying long, I need to… I need to do something and then they won’t ever even think to come here.” Rose blanched further slumping into a ratty couch with a sigh. 

“What the hell is going on?” Rose asked her. 

“Something that happened a thousand — maybe a million times before. But I’ll end it. It should have ended it the moment I could…” Rey felt that part finally settle inside of her, the pain moved past her, leaving the mummering of voices as nothing more than background noise in her head. 

“I don’t understand Rey.” Rose told her frowning and looking scared. Rey reached out, taking Rose’s hand, and slowly suffusing the other woman with confidence, taking away the fear inside of her. It was easy, it was fast, and it left her with a small mark, a mole, on her wrist. 

“I know, but you don’t have to know, I’m sorry Rose. But I can't let you stop this.”

“Rey?” Rose questioned.Rey put her hand over her wrist, and Rose hissed in, there was a tiny spark, a tiny thing that went through her into Rose. If Rey succeeded, in her new mission then only Rose could tell Ben what happened. But he couldn’t be able to hurt her not even he would be able to hurt her. That tiny voice inside of her, the matronly voice of Ben’s grandmother left her, fading into Rose. 

Rose blinked rapidly, eyes going wide but also distant. “I’m ending this… once both of us pass. It will be you that tells our story…. I’m sorry.” Rey stood, leaving Rose blankly on the sofa. She left the apartment, and got into the elevator down. She had to find the Balance, knowing he was close. Only the balance could truly kill one or the other, and she was going to have him end everything. It was long past time that it happened. 


	17. Chapter 17

Rey knew the Balance was somewhere in the city, but any time she looked for it, it slipped out of any grasp she might hold onto its location. It was like a compass being manipulated by a bit of magnet. She spent nights with Rose, taking a few temporary jobs in the meantime in order to help Rose with the rent and food money. A week passed, and no one tried to find them, or her. Then another week slipped by, leaving Rey feeling numb, feeding the dread inside of her. 

It wasn’t until two more weeks passed, that finally the tiny compass in her head stalled, pointing without error. Rey’s hands paused over wiping down a plate with a rag, having gotten a job as a dishwasher in a busy dinner. She could walk out, could just leave, but stayed there until the last of things were done. Settling herself out feeling tired as she headed towards the direction blindly. Something inside of her stirred, and she ignored it, she had been feeling more hungry and more unsteady as of late. 

It was more imperative she left to the Balance, this needed to happen, the cycle of failures, and of people being bound. It needed to end, the church she stopped in front of was no grand thing in fact it looked just like a regular building it was only the wooden sign on the small lawn on it that designated what it was exactly. Gripping the metal rail as she ascended Rey froze when the door opened and gaped. Luke stood in front of her and held out his hand to her. 

“I’ve been waiting for you, Rey,” he said simply. Rey took his hand and let him lead her into the building. With no ornate windows, just plain wooden walls, and gutted out so that the ceiling vanished into darkness. An organ sat in a corner, and a small confession booth sat in the other. At the other wall to the door was the pulpit, and various well oiled and black wooden benches settled the feeling of a church. Finn, just at the doors to the confessional, froze looking to her and then to Luke. 

“You… you were…” she began and gaped at him. Luke pulled her to the front, and settled her down to the front bench. Finn looked to him and then to her. “Finn?” 

“I found him exiting that place,” Finn explained slowly. 

“He is my apprentice. Just as Ben is yours.” She stared down to the ground shivering. “Oh Rey, did you always think there were only two? There are hundreds. Thousands, maybe even a million now.” 

“But I’ve always… what…” Luke pulled her hands into his. 

“I am the oldest, you are the next, the others are younger than us. We grow out from humanity as it too grows. We guide them, we show them their wrongs, their rights, slowly pushing them towards greatness.” She took an unsteady breath in. “I am the balance, but I too am what you are. It is my duty as first to ensure no one… becomes as he did. Abusing the powers given to do evil, great and small.” 

“I was why haven’t… why can’t we… Luke, what the hell is happening?” she demanded. He smiled sadly to her. 

“Rey, together, we are more powerful together, we could rule the entire globe. So we work apart. I’m so sorry, most of the others don’t know either. I should have told you a long, long time ago. Should have told all of them. They all feel alone, once they find the other half, they are better so I never thought to do so until you and him.” 

“Where — ” she bit off her next word it echoed in the mostly empty church. “Where is Ben?” she asked him. 

“He is home… in your home.” Luke dropped a hand and put it on her shoulder. “Where you belong with him.” She shook her head sniffing as a sob made its way up her throat. 

“I don’t belong to  _ him _ ,” she told him. Luke sighed. 

“That is not what I mean Rey. He needs your help. He doesn't know how to let them all go.” She looked at Luke, all her emotion obliterated into blankness. “You did the right thing leaving when you did. It was what he needed.” She blinked to him as he shrugged to her. 

“He stopped doing the ritual? Stopped bringing him back?” she asked quietly. Luke nodded to her. A choir of the voices chimed in yes with him. Luke just nodded as she saw dancing lights from the voices.

“He needs to learn how to let them all go, Rey,” he told her and smiled. “You can go back. He is gone. I made sure.” She felt her cheeks go cold. “Not like that, he is with me. I took him, and I will take her too.” 

“But I failed him. I will always fail him,” she told Luke weakly. 

“That is what makes you both the best of us. You were always more human than all of us.” Luke stood, and bowed to her. “Maybe that is why you're with child.” Rey stared at him blankly anand touched her stomach. There just faintly she could feel a heartbeat. “In the end Rey, it is your choice.” 

“But what if I choose wrong again?” She pulled out the small knife and handed it to him. Luke tossed it behind him where it clattered to the floor. She just gaped at him. “What if I keep making mistakes?” she demanded to him. 

“Rey, I make mistakes, everyone does. Granted,” he smiled. “You’ve made the most, but that is what makes you the most human. The both of you.” Rey shivered and stood. “Rey, just know I’ll always be there to help you both.”

“To… what? Kill us?” she replied darkly.

“No, I never wanted to, the one who hurt him was my master.” She took a side step and stared down to the hall of pews to the open doors. “You are right, it’s time we changed things, after all. We are what they grow beyond, what you and he grow beyond, I think that’s why you’ve always had me.” 

“You were the voice?” Luke nodded to her. “I can only guide, I can’t choose for you. Because you are as human as they come.” Rey looked at Finn who shrugged to her. 

“I need a car.” Luke grinned to her and motioned to Finn. 

“There goes my gas budget.” Finn mumbled and smiled he took a set of keys from Luke and motioned her out. 

“Thank you Finn,” she told him. “If… you are Luke’s, then why were you there with me?” Finn frowned as they got to a car, a massive thing that looked like it wouldn’t fit on the streets. 

“The same as you, kinda.” He opened the door for her and she slipped inside of it putting a seat belt on. “You could have left at any time, why didn’t you?” 

“He… needed to know what harm he was doing…” Finn slipped in himself and started the car buckling himself in. “Plus, you needed help too.” He nodded and pulled the car out, quickly heading out to the city outskirts where the apartment complex was. 

“Well, thanks for helping me. Rey, I am sorry. I know you don’t like this thing. Luke sometimes gets confused too, when you hid yourself? He thought it was me that was supposed to be with Ben.” Rey looked to him as he focused on the road and traffic. 

“I just don’t want to do this thing anymore. I just want to be human.” He nodded to her. 

“You can be, don’t ever let Luke tell you different. I’m still going to be a pilot!” She scowled. “Poe isn’t a part of this at all, he’s normal, I think Luke knew he would see that mark.” 

“Can I just stop after this is done?” 

Finn smiled at her brightly. “Of course you can! I’ll help too if you need it!” 

She smiled, closing her eyes and preparing herself for confronting Ben, and going back home. It seemed to take such a short time, as she slipped out of the door. 

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked her. Rey shook her head. 

“It will be okay,” she replied. 

Finn looked to the apartment. A pile of various kinds of building trash sat on the outside curb. From portions of wall to various bits of trim, and odd ends of wood, tile and various other things. Finn nodded, and slowly drove away as she stepped up the stairs and opened up the door. She had to blink at the intense changes that the building had undergone. Her apartment had been untouched, but the entire other wall had been torn out. 

What once was a hidden area was now torn out, with highly ornate support pillars. It had been turned from ritual area to a general seating and gathering point with long sofas and a tiled corner that held a bar. Maz right now was carefully making something like a carbonated drink of some sort, and Rey wasn’t sure if it was alcoholic or not. But Ben’s back was to her hunched over the bar, and dressed in vastly different clothes. His hair had grown longer, almost reaching past his shoulders now. 

In denim jeans and a white shirt, he looked just like anyone else now. Maz looked up to her as she slowly walked into the open area. Her smile was bright as Rey examined the seating. Maz started making another drink as Ben straightened up to her, Maz nodded towards Rey. 

“You changed a lot.” Rey said simply. Ben flinched and turned towards her nearly knocking over the fancy bubbled glass that held seltzer water. Maz caught it easily, placing it back down without missing a step. 

He gaped at her, and she winced at what she saw. Down from his brow, skipping his eye, and then across his cheek nearly going down to his neck was a pink scar. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” she told him. He took a few breaths, and then looked to Maz. 

“Don’t look at me kiddo, you were just saying how you would apologize,” Maz told him and set a drink down on the bar. 

Rey walked up to the bar and took the drink as Ben’s hands clasped and unclasped themselves. She took a sip, it was just seltzer water and juice, with a few cubes of ice. 

“How are you doing, Rey?” 

“I’m fine,” she said weakly. Rey turned to Ben, and set the drink down. He turned to her and very slowly she reached out and took his limp hand. “Are you okay, Ben?” 

“Fine…” he whispered back to her. “Rey, I stopped it.” He gestured vaguely with one hand to the now open area. The other set of stairs down to this place were gone as well filled in and destroyed. 

“I know.” she replied. His hand was still limp, but he slowly enclosed his hand under hers. 

“I am… Rey I hurt you,” he defended. She reached her hand out to his cheek and gently brushed a thumb over a small portion of the fresh scar. “I deserved this,” he told her quickly. 

“Ben, are you okay?” she asked again. He leaned into her hand. 

“No. I’m not.” he told her finally. Body slumping down at little on the bar stool he was sitting on. “My parents… they left me here. I told them to go and they did.” 

“They’ll be back.” Rey told him and he blinked to her. “They will. Trust me.” He smiled just a little. 

“How do I do the rest?” he grimaced shutting his eyes as she dropped her hand down. 

“That one I know.” she pulled out a hair and took his wrist and wrapped it around his wrist. “Keep it on for three days, then break it. What was given will be returned.” he blanched, and then laughed. Putting a hand to his face and laughing into it. 

“I’m going to be bald,” he managed between gulps of air. She smiled at him as he slipped off the stool. 

“I can do half, you do the other half.” she told him. He grinned to her holding out a hand to her. She let him pull her into a hug, he smelled like sawdust and paint. 

“Is there any other way?” he asked her and she shook her head. He sighed and pulled her tighter to him and kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, Rey,” he told her quietly. She shivered against him. 

“He wants to marry you,” Maz told her from behind. Ben hissed in a breath and turned to her with a glare. Maz was unfazed as she smiled behind the bar, making herself a drink. Rey blinked up at him. 

“Ben?” she questioned. He turned back to her and she kissed him on the lips. “Would you marry me?” she asked him. 

He swallowed and nodded slowly looking exactly like a fish out of water. “Yes, yes I will!” he grinned to her, pressing a series of kisses down her face and neck. 

“Now now, please. This is a public space,” Maz scolded and they took a quick step back away from each other. Rey flushed and stared down to the ground. “Oh you two, we will have to get the dates and ceremony set up.” 

“Come on Ben, it looks like there are lots of things to do.” Rey told him, and took his hand. He frowned a little and sighed before giving her a soft smile. “One of which is getting that painting finished,” he flushed as she chuckled. 

“Thank you Rey. I… I never knew that was… it was just the only way I knew how to live” he tried to explain and she turned to him and kissed his cheek. 

“That’s why I’m here, Ben. You need a teacher, and so do I,” he smiled at her, and slowly drew her into a kiss. 

“Oh… ” she took one of his hands and put it on her lower stomach. “Say hi…” she told him a little weakly. He blinked at her and looked down at his hand and then to her again., eyes wide and face completely blank. 

“You’re… I’m….” he swallowed. 

“I think I like the name Anakin, or Padme,” she told him. He smiled at her, pulling her into a tighter hug. 

“He was a terrible person Rey,” he whispered to her. 

“Not always. I think he was hurt terribly by the war. It hurt a lot of people, Ben,” she told him and pressed a smile on her face. Slapping his arm playfully she kissed his cheek. 

“You better help me up there or the painting is going to be ruined! I’m gonna get fat.” Ben pulled a little away looking over her and smiled. 

“Even then, you are beautiful,” he told her and ran a hand through her hair. 

“And so are you,” she said and watched as he blushed.

“Guys are handsome, Rey, not pretty,” Maz told her, and started shooing them up the stairs. “Now get, you to, it’s like watching two high schoolers in a kissing play.” 

Rey and Ben laughed as he led her up the stairs and into his apartment. It was now far more homey, with various paintings decorating the walls, and the windows open to the light of day. More furniture filled the area, leaving her to pause before the door and shut it behind her. 


End file.
